Transgender Transition

[Sweetlove]

Hello Everyone,
Well my story is very unique as I live in a very intolerant society “Arabs” toward LGBT Community.
Personnaly, I always felt I was girl since my early shildhood. I even used to do “blowjobs” (really sorry for the word but I just want to express my real feelings, I hope you understand) for other kids thinking it was normal and always enjoyed it when I was little.
As I grew at the age of 12 / 13 up I noticed that all the girls in my entourage are starting to have boobs but not me “I was so frustrated I couldn’t find a mean to confort myself but to dress like a girl and put socks to look féminine with boobies.
I started masturbating as a girl at this period to confort myself off the frustration. So then I knew about hrt on the net. I started it but couldn’t go through with it because of fear of rejection so I stopped it after two months that started to show great results. I started again taking hormones 15 years after for 1 year until I stopped because I knew I would be hanged out in a public place if people discovers my change. So I stopped it for a year but kept doing boobs massages, shaving dressing as a girl at home and anal masturbation.
This year was very exciting because I keep hearing in my head that I should start htp again I’m a girl I’m a girl I can’t be hided all my life… So I went today to the drugstore and bought oestrogene and progesterone. Let’s see what’s gonna happen.

[carla1212]

Oh sweetie please be careful! Being trans is dangerous business no matter where you live, but sounds like you are at great risk of harm. What country are you in?

[Waterspout]

Hey. New to the forum and I don’t know if this is really the right place to post this so move or remove as necessary.

I am new to the transition and am currently looking for resources in my area. But sad to say I am MTF and I am very…M. I have seen a few MTF and even FTM transitions between people I’ve met but many were androgynous to begin with. I don’t think I could in any way be considered passably androgynous and because of this fact I have just lived a closeted life. Many other factors of course put me in the closeted life but I don’t believe that I am able to ever pass as my gender without great help. Does anyone know of resources to help me with this?

[carla1212]

I had a disturbing conversation yesterday with a trans woman who is on hormones and planning the whole transition – the big surgery. She was telling me how I am not a real woman because I have never done hormones or surgeries, just laser on my facial hair. It really hurt my feelings – she actually though I was female and told me I was deceptive when I came out to her. She said I was lying yo mys I was thinking we don’t really become female anyway, we are trans and that’s cool anyway, right? Do you agree?

[Anonymous]

carla1212, sorry you had to deal with that individual. The point is, are you happy with your life? I really dislike what the TG Community has become. I have met all kinds of “Trans” in my life. Some are pretty messed up.

As to what we become? No, that’s the real question. I tell people I became me. I will always carry the XY chromosome but I can now live and move through society as I wish and have relationships with my partners as I wish. Does that make me a “real woman?” I really don’t care anymore. I use to watch Popeye as a kid. Popeye use to say “I am what I am and that’s all that I am.” That’s pretty much how I look at things these days. When I came out at 13 (1975) I faced being institutionalized. Today I’ve raised a family and if all goes well, when the adoption is finalized, I will be listed as the mother of my 8 year old. Something that would have been impossible 40 years ago. I don’t know when “Passing” became a privilege and other nonsense but I’m out of “fashion” often these days. I get a small chuckle inside when a trans person these days tells me I’m cis and couldn’t possibly understand what it’s like to be trans.

The fact that she didn’t know in all honesty, probably pissed her off. The shames on her, not you.

[Anonymous]

Actually, I just remembered. You had to live as a woman 24/7 for 1 year before you could be prescribed hormones way back when. Now people claim that’s unrealistic and inhuman, blah, blah, blah. The idea was if you could not manage that transition you would not be able to manage the rest. It was a point you could back track from without requiring surgery (example: breast removal). Loss of income was a big deal. My income was basically cut in half after I transitioned.

These days people start hormones while still working their old job and then come out after the hormones have had a chance to work. Then if they lose their job they can’t afford transition and they are stuck in limbo. Better to pull that band aid off before you start. If you can’t find work, housing etc… as your “new self”, better to know before hand what your getting yourself into.

[bianca444]

hi, willing to learn more on how it works

[carla1212]

Thank you so much Melissa D. – as always your perspective is very reassuring and comforting! I am not super-sensitive but this person actually hurt my feelings and I found myself crying about it, Anyway yes, exactly, we still have that Y chromosome so… yah, I do not aspire to be a woman, I aspire to be myself. For me it’s not just about looking feminine or fooling anyone with my appearance, it’s about being feminine which to me means being kind, giving, treating others sweetly and gently. Which tells me that some people can take all the hormones they want, and have surgery on every last part of their body, but they’ll never be genuinely feminine.

[Seanie1]

Hi. New to site. Have always wanted to be a Girl but too scared. Am thankng about hormones on web and see some breast development pills on ebay/amazon. Does anyone have any experience of these and do.they work?
Thanks
Seanie

[Anonymous]

Hello and welcome Seaniel, There are actually a couple of steps I recommend before hormones. First have any unwanted facial hair removed by Laser or electrolysis. There are pro’s and con’s to each but electrolysis is the only permanent method. I also suggest you find a trans friendly councilor and have a talk. They will help you sort out your feelings and help you find out where you really are on the spectrum. If hormones really are the right choice for you, I strongly suggest you use prescribed and medically supervised hormones. You need bloodwork to ensure proper dosage. Improper dosages can lead from no effect to death. Plus unless hormones are prescribed you run a risk with their purity. In some states informed consent is a possibility through Planned Parenthood. Whatever you decide to do, please ensure you have a doctor doing blood work involved.

[angela_g]

I just removed a person from this Forum and from the TGForum users database for posting a very dangerous Do It Yourself “partial sex change.” I don’t know what this person’s motivation was but the procedure described would surely mutilate if not kill. Any similar posts will be removed immediately. If you see any posts in this Forum that are promoting things that could harm people please let me know. [email protected]

[ElainaKC]

Hello, my name is Elaina, I am new to the forum and I have a hormone question.

I have been on hormones perscribed by my Dr for a couple years. My question is, in anyone elses experience, how do you feel while on meds? When I started meds I noticed that it really quieted my mind down as far as the dysphoria goes. However, I also really do not feel like doing anything “girly” anymore, for that matter I don’t “feel” girly anymore either. I have felt depressive is really the only way I can describe it. Does that make sense to anyone else?? I love what the hormones are doing to my body physically, my skin feel amazing. But, when my significant other suggests, doing each other’s makeup or dressing up, I just feel blah…. I took a break from the meds for a bit and within a month my raging dysphoria returns with a vengeance. I go back on the meds and about a month or so I am back to blah, no desire or drive to do anything anymore….
Has anyone else experienced this, if so, how did you overcome it??

Thank you soo much 🙂
Elaina

[Anonymous]

Welcome ElainaC,

I suggest you talk to you doctor and have them check you hormone levels. Depression is a real concern in our community. I’ve dealt with it on and off for years now. You might want to find a counselor and try to sort them out. I’ve found them useful over the years. It ends up that “suppress and move on” is not a good strategy for dealing with the crap in life. Who knew?

What does it mean to feel girly? You should just feel like a better version of you, without the dysphoria. How you chose to dress is up to you. I went years without makeup. It was just too much of a hassle. I had eyeliner tattooed on, so now I just throw on some lipstick and I’m out the door.

Many of us seem to get some idealist image of womanhood stuck in our mind. LET IT GO. look around you. Go sit on a bench at Walmart or somewhen that’s not a office environment and just people watch. Take note of the women and how they are dressed. Most are in jean and a top with no makeup, just being themselves. Wearing makeup in the wrong context can actually draw attention to you. Like Sesame Street and which one of these things doesn’t belong here.

I also like Walmart for when I’m feeling down. After watching some of the customers, for some reason, I don’t feel so bad about myself later.

Good Luck, Melissa D

[ElainaKC]

Melissa D. Thank you for your reply. And your absolutely right, I am working on it though. I do have a counselor that I see regularly, she has helped a lot. Right now we are mostly concentrating on my PTSD at the current moment… My endocrinologist says my levels are good. So I’m just gonna roll with it and see where it goes. 🙂

Elaina

[Annette McD]

Hello, I’m definitely new to my acceptance of this, and have recently… finally came out as a gay man. I’m 40 years old, divorced, a 24 yo son(who I haven’t talked to since May)… I’ve been gay my whole life obviously, but kind of thought it would go away, or was just a little bit of curiosity.. I’ve realized it doesn’t work that way, and I have been literally creating an incredibly lonely and sad future for myself.

Coming out as gay was a revelation, but I’ve had nothing but love and support since then (about 2 months ago)… But… I’ve been cross dressing for almost 15 years now. Ever since my ex wife left a bunch of clothes after she moved out in ’06… I’ve finally come to terms with the fact that I am not who I have been portraying. Nor am I content being a “guy”…

I have a lot of support and am going to start the process of getting my shit together and moving ahead. I just can not be someone I’m not anymore…. Even though I’m still the same person, I’m not… Shit’s confusing as hell, right? Thanks for listening..

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