Theresa, Chapter 39 by Hebe Dotson

The Story So Far (TGF subscribers can read earlier installments): Terri listens with growing anger as Brad reveals his contempt for his novel’s principal character, based at least partially on Alan’s experiences during his year at Littlefield Academy. Has Brad learned about her past or are his comments purely coincidental? She reveals that she was once Alan and hurriedly leaves the restaurant. After a sleepless night, she finds herself wrestling with the question of whether or not she should have SRS. After first deciding to cancel her surgery, she realizes that she’d made a woman’s decision, based on the needs of others. Then she should be a woman, she decides, so she’ll have the surgery. That evening, with less than 24 hours remaining before she goes to the hospital, she decides to go out for a burger and a movie. As she heads for the door, the phone rings. It’s Eddie – he’s flown east to see her and he wants to take her dancing.

The doorbell rang and I hurried to answer it. I had piled up my hair and changed into stiletto heels and my most recent extravagance, a wicked black mini-sheath from the Lady Lansdowne Collection. It had cost me almost a week’s pay, even with my employee discount, and I’d intended to wear it to my first post-surgical occasion, whatever and whenever that might be, but why wait? My expected gentleman caller stood in the doorway, clutching a small suitcase and staring at me.

“Wow!” he said.

“Eddie! Come in.”

“I can’t right now. I called Big Tony’s from L.A. this morning and made a reservation for eight o’clock. That’s fifteen minutes from now. My cab’s waiting for us – we can just make it.” He tossed his suitcase inside the door. “I’ll get that when we come back. Are you ready?”

I grabbed my evening bag and made sure my door key was in it. “I’m ready.”

“Let’s go, before someone else gets our cab!”

The taxi was still there when we reached the street. As we hurtled across town, Eddie sat back and stared at me. “As I was saying – wow!” he said.

“Wow?”

“Definitely,” Eddie said. “You take my breath away. Actually, it’s more like five wows. On a scale of one to four. I don’t know how you do it, but you’re more beautiful every time I see you. If I didn’t know, I wouldn’t know. Or are you really Cousin Julie?”

It was the hormones. They’d changed the contours of my face, making my appearance more and more feminine. I’d looked at the publicity photos in my portfolio just that afternoon, and I could see how much I’d changed in six months. If I hadn’t known, I wouldn’t have known either. I laughed. “No; it’s just me. Maybe it’s my new dress.”

“No. It’s a gorgeous dress, but you’d look beautiful in a potato sack.” The taxi barreled around a corner and screeched to a stop. “This is it,” Eddie said, “with three minutes to spare.”

The first time we’d danced on Big Tony’s tiny dance floor, we’d been tentative and we’d held each other distantly and delicately. This time, we melted together, cheek to cheek. Other couples, most of them a few years older and somewhat heftier, looked at us with a mixture of admiration and envy. Well, the women seemed to envy me and admire Eddie, and since I spotted a few admiring male glances, perhaps some of the men envied my handsome escort.

The admiration or envy of others had no real interest for us; we were too absorbed in each other. With almost a sense of shock, I wondered why it had taken me so long to realize that my friend Eddie, my once-awkward, shy, and gangling buddy, had grown into a most attractive man. I put my lips close to his ear and whispered, “Wow!”

“Wow? For what?”

“For you, old pal of mine. I’ve been so wrapped up in myself – and so much aware of our strange sort of history – that I’ve failed to appreciate you for what you are.”

“Really? And what am I?”

“Handsome. Debonair. Loyal. Thoughtful. Kind. And a wonderful dancer. That’s six wows right there. I’ve probably left a few out, but I’ll get to them eventually.”

He pulled me closer to him, something I wouldn’t have believed possible.

I turned the key and opened the door. “Come on in,” I said to Eddie. “Mother’s probably home now – she may be asleep already.”

As I closed the door quietly behind us, Mother called, “Is that you, Terri?”

“Yes; it’s me. Eddie’s with me.”

“Eddie? How nice. I was wondering whose suitcase that was.” She emerged from her bedroom, knotting the belt of her bathrobe. “I was just getting into bed. Eddie, it’s so nice to see you. How are your parents?”

“Fine, I guess. I haven’t seen them yet.”

“You haven’t?”

“No. This was sort of a spur-of-the-moment trip, and they don’t even know I’m in town.”

“But you’re going there now?”

“No,” Eddie said. “It’s too late to barge in on them tonight. I’ll just go to a hotel.”
Mother glanced at the clock. “At this hour?”

“Sure.” Eddie grinned. “This is the city that never sleeps, isn’t it? I won’t have any trouble finding a room.”

“You’ll do no such thing,” Mother said. “We have two empty bedrooms here, and the beds are all made up. Terri, please get some towels for Eddie.”

“Are you sure? I don’t want to be any trouble.”

“Eddie, you’ve stayed here dozens of times,” Mother said, “and you’ve never been any trouble.”

“I’ll put him in Amy’s room,” I said.

“Good idea,” Mother replied. “That’s the most comfortable bed in the house. Now, if you two don’t mind, I have a busy morning ahead of me, so I’ve got to get some sleep. Terri, dear – if I don’t get to see you before you leave tomorrow afternoon, I hope and pray that everything goes well for you. Remember, we all love you.” She drew me to her and gave me a warm hug and a kiss on my cheek before turning with a little wave of her hand and dramatically re-entering her bedroom. “She’s really got those exits down cold,” I said to Eddie.

“I’m about ready to exit myself,” Eddie said. “It’s been a long day.” He picked up his suitcase. “Which room is Amy’s?”

“I’ll show you,” I said. “Please come this way, sir.” I led him all the way down the hall to the big corner bedroom. “Will this be satisfactory, sir?”

“More than satisfactory,” Eddie said. “Wasn’t this your parents’ room?”

“It was indeed, sir. Mother decided to take Barbara’s old room so Barbara and Doug could have this one when they visit us. The bathroom is back down the hall, third door on the left. Will there be anything else, sir?”

“I don’t think so.”

I smiled prettily. “No tip for the poor, hard-working bellgirl, sir? Oh, it’s a cold, cruel, stingy world out there.”

“I might have a little something.” He put his arms around me and pulled me to him. “Would this do?”

“It’s a commendable beginning, sir.”

“A greedy little bellgirl, eh?” He tilted my chin up and looked into my eyes.

“I’m afraid so, sir.”

“Good,” he said. His lips met mine, cautiously at first and then more and more urgently as I responded. We sat down together on the edge of the bed. I could feel his fingers fumbling with the zipper on the back of my dress. I reached up and pushed his arms gently away.

“No, Eddie – not now,” I said.

He moved away from me with a disappointed look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“I love you, Terri,” he said. His voice was husky. “I want you – my god, you don’t know how much I want you.”

“I think I do, Eddie darling. I want you just as badly. But…”

“Your mother?”

“No; she’ll sleep like a log until morning. It’s…”

“It’s me? Something I’ve said? Something I’ve done?”

“No, dear, it’s not you. It’s me. Years ago, when I first began to understand that I was really a girl, I made some rules for myself. One was that I would never date any man who knew that I was physically male. I followed that rule for a long time, and I’ve only broken it for you, and then only because you said you considered me to be a woman. My other rule was that I would not make love to a man until I could do it as a woman, and that one I won’t break for anyone – not even for you. I’m sorry; truly sorry.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Eddie said, “but I understand.”

“Thank you.” I leaned over and kissed him gently. “I’ll see you in the morning.”

At three o’clock the next afternoon, Eddie took me to the hospital in a taxi. He promised to come to see me as soon as I was allowed to have visitors, kissed me, and wished me good luck. I squeezed his hand and went to the Admissions desk to check myself in.

Dr. Sterling came to see me at seven to determine the state of my morale and make sure I had no last-minute questions. We verified that I would have vaginal construction only. I felt no need for breast implants, since hormone treatments had taken me to my goal – unpadded B cup status. After the doctor left, a nurse came into my room and carefully lathered and shaved my pubic region. When she was done, another nurse gave me a sedative to help me sleep.

I was awakened at six the next morning and sent to the bathroom with instructions to (a) relieve myself and (b) dress myself in a paper hospital gown that was definitely not from the Lady Lansdowne Collection. I was then strapped onto a gurney and wheeled through a labyrinth of corridors to a holding room, where Dr. Sterling greeted me and introduced me to the O.R. nurses and my anesthesiologist. A few minutes later, the nurses wheeled me into the operating room. Dr. Sterling patted my shoulder. The anesthesiologist placed a mask over my mouth and nose and told me to breathe deeply and regularly while counting to ten. At the count of seven, Alan Sayers disappeared forever.

To Be Continued

Category: Fiction