The Doctor’s Office

Mother was up early and just getting off the phone when I came down wearing my nightie and robe.

“Good morning, dear. Did you sleep well?”

“Mom, my bed is so comfortable. I think I hit the pillow and didn’t move all night. Coffee smells wonderful.” I went over and poured myself a cup and sat at the kitchen table.

Mother topped off her cup and sat down with me.

“That was the doctor’s office on the phone. She has openings at three this afternoon. Her office is near that cute restaurant you took your Sister and I to. I hope it was okay for me to make the appointment?”

“Thank you, Mother. I thought I’d be up restless all night after our talk yesterday. I feel I’m ready to move on with my life as Savannah. Sorry, this is still my first cup of coffee. What time was it, again?” As I got up to make some toast.

“Want me to make you some breakfast, Mom?” She never answered but continued,

“Savannah, would you like to go back to that same little restaurant beforehand? I loved the salad you ordered for us. Maybe the chef will give us the recipe for it? Yes, toast is fine, dear. Thank you.”

“That sounds nice, Mom. Thank you again. I want that recipe too.” I also grabbed a yogurt out of the refrigerator. Can I get you anything else to eat or drink?”

“No, thank you, dear; toast and yogurt are fine for now.”

After breakfast, I told mom, I was going back outside, getting a little more sun, and checking my work emails.

“Your Sister may still have some bikinis in her room that should fit. Want me to find you one?”

“You don’t have do that, Mom.” Mother looked disappointed, so I said, “Okay, Mom. I’ll try them on and see if they fit.”

Mother finish her coffee as I finished my yogurt. She went up to Gwen’s room as I rinsed the dishes and put them in the dishwasher. Mother came down. “I found two. I put them on your bed.”

“Thank you, Mom.” After I cleaned everything up and in the dishwasher, I headed upstairs.

I’ve worn many bikinis, high cut, boy shorts, and other lady’s panty bottoms, but never a real swimsuit.

I yelled downstairs, “Are you sure Sis won’t mind? You do know this is how it all started – me wearing her panties and bras.”

“She’ll never know, and I won’t tell.” I heard Mom giggling.

I went into the bathroom and tried on both swimsuits. I picked the one I thought fit and looked the best. I placed my smaller breast enhancers in the cups, put on some sunscreen on my face, put on the big shirt, and grabbed my laptop.

Outside I felt no different than merely having on my strapless bra and bikini panties. I put on my sunglasses, headed out back, opened my laptop after about 15-minutes.

“Savannah”. I looked up with a smile, and Mother snapped two pictures in a row. “Here, I brought you a bottle of water.

“Let me see those.” I reached for Mom’s camera.

Mom came beside me and opened the files. I lifted my sunglasses so I could see the picture better.

“You look like a model, dear. You look fantastic.” And she handed me my water.

You could see everything except cleavage, my legs, defined abs, bikini top, my face, and ponytail. “Will you send those to me? Maybe I’ll consider buying a suit to sit around my apartment’s pool. Thanks, Mom.” I finished my emails and got hot, so I closed my laptop, got up, and put on the big shirt to cover up.

Mother smiled at me as I came in. I kissed her on her cheek.

“I’m going up the stairs and take a bath and put on my makeup. See you soon.

I came back down wearing my robe. “What are you going to wear, Mom?”

“I think maybe slacks and a knit top. The restaurant was a bit chilly last time for me. Can you find a cute skirt and blouse to wear?”

“Of course, Mom.” I headed upstairs and came right back down, holding a white fitted button-down long sleeve blouse. I opened the ironing board, put water in the iron, and started ironing the blouse.

“Would you like me to iron that for you, dear?”

“I’ve got it, Mom. I’ve gotten quite good at this. You and Gwen taught me, remember?” Mother brought me a hanger.

I selected a print chocolate brown skirt and didn’t tuck in the blouse. I re-pulled my hair back in a high ponytail and added a black barrette. Then I picked out Hoop earrings, a simple necklace, bracelets, and three rings. I passed on the pantyhose since it was hot outside and put on a pair of cork wedge sandals. I picked up my lipstick and gloss, grabbed my purse, then went down downstairs and sat in the living room and read a magazine as I waited for Mother. I had to run back upstairs for my sweater.

The doorbell rang. I came back downstairs to answer the door, and there was a delivery.

“Miss Savannah Thomas?”

“Yes.” And he handled an almost three-foot-long box. Although somewhat confused, I said, “Thank you.”

Mother came down. “You look darling, sweetie. Who was at the. . .” Then she saw the box.

I opened the box, and there was this beautiful bouquet. Mom and at the same time said,

“They’re beautiful.” Mother said, “Is there a card?”

I found and opened the card. I read it and then handed it to Mom. ‘Savannah, I’m glad you’re home. You are the sweetest and most beautiful lady I’ve ever known. Signed, Fred.’

“I hope he’ll ask you to marry him. You two would be a beautiful couple!”

“Mom, you know I can’t do that. Although he is cute, a gentleman, and as I recall, a great dancer!”

“Where do you keep your vases? These flowers smell wonderful. Smell these, Mom.” Mother closed her eyes, and we both smiled as we both inhaled the beautiful aroma of the flowers almost simultaneously.

“Lovely.” Mother found a vase and started cutting the stems so they’d fit in the vase. “No one’s ever sent me a bouquet before.” Mother smiled and looked me in the eye,

“Marry him, Savannah. I’m telling you.” I smiled at her as I shook my head.

“We better get going, Mom. Oh, please remind me to send him a thank you card when we get home.” We both took a couple of pictures of the flowers them smelled them once more as we walked out the door. The Aviary was packed. I thought the lunch crowd would be gone by the time we arrived. I saw one open table and one free booth.

“Good afternoon, ladies. Welcome back. It’s nice to see you again. Table or booth.”

Mother answered, “Booth.”

“This way, please, ladies.”

Although I perused the menu, we ended up having sweet tea and the Aviary salad again.

“I have no idea what is going to happen at the doctor’s office,” I said a little nervously.

“Simply tell the doctor what we discussed yesterday and how you feel, dear.”

The salads came. They were delicious, as usual. We chit-chatted a little about the bouquet from Fred. I thought dreamingly, what if I could marry him.

Mom broke my pleasant daydream with, “Savannah, it’s 2:15, we should go. You may have to fill out some paperwork before seeing Dr. Knight.” I prayed this doctor is better than the last one. I argued with Mom about the check but lost. I reapplied my lipstick and gloss, and we walked eight doors East along South Park Avenue from the Aviary. Darn it. I forgot to ask for the recipe.

No one was in the waiting room. I signed in. After a short while, I hear, “Miss Thomas?”

“Yes.”

“Over here, please.” She was a sweet lady.

“Dr. Knight will see you soon. I need your see your insurance and I.D., and please fill these forms out for me.” I gave her the cards and went to sit with Mom.

“Ladies, there’s coffee, tea, and water if you wish some.”

I smiled, “Thank you.” I picked up a Shape magazine to read while we waited. Mother reached over and held my hand and picked up a Reader’s Digest with her other hand. I was surprised that the receptionist never mentioned my name was different on my state I.D. was different than the one on my insurance card from work.

I was maybe ten to fifteen minutes when heard, “Miss Thomas?”

We did the standard greetings. Dr. Knight said, “Mrs. Thomas, you have a beautiful daughter. Mother smiled and said,

“Thank you, Doctor.” Mother said. “I’ve seen you before. Do you attend the First Baptist Church on Magnolia?”

“Why, yes, I do. How may I help you two?”

I saw Mother wanting to speak, but I took control since I was my issue, not hers. “I wish to transition to be a female.”

There was dead silence and a stare from the Doctor. She paused, looked bewildered, and looked me over—my size, figure, skin, nails, holding the Shape magazine, and my clothes. “But, but. . .aren’t you already a female?

“No, Ma’am, Doctor Knight. I am a transgender woman and wish to start hormones and begin living full-time and fully transition.” There I said it and meant it. Mother held my hand and squeezed it.

Dr. Knight stammered and tried to compose herself somehow and find something to say.

“Oh, I see. Okay.” I guess she saw I was not joking.

Seated in her office, “Mrs. Thomas, how long has she been dressing as a woman.”

“Since before Junior High School. She lived full-time for her first summer as my daughter. And then every holiday and summer after that. I only see her as my daughter.” And then Mom looked at me with a smile.

“So you’ve lived like a woman for several years, Miss Thomas?” She looked at my paperwork, your 20?”

“Yes, Ma’am. I’ve been dressing a good 95% of the time. I’ll be 21 soon.”

“Mrs. Thomas may speak privately with your daughter for a while?”

“Of course, Dr. Knight.” Mother got up and kissed me on the cheek as she left.

Dr. Knight started. “Miss Thomas, first of how did you get the beautiful skin and figure? Please tell me how this all started, what has been happening over the years?”

“Thank you, Dr. Knight. You’re so sweet. It all started just before Junior High School.” I told her all about being caught by my Sister and her taking me out in public since before Junior High, Mother and Father seeing me and not recognizing me. Both Mother and Gwen supported me, then encouraging me. Being asked to a slumber party the next weekend. The formal ball not long after that. (Her eyes opened wide, and her jaw dropped somewhat.) I told her everything about my dressing, shopping, and flying, and driving long distances as a woman. And being Maid of Honor at my Gwen’s wedding. Dr. Knight didn’t take any notes, although she had a pen in her right hand resting on a legal notepad.

“I feel like a woman and no longer wish to deceive anyone any more. Oh, I run and do yoga to keep in shape to answer your original question.”

“Do you run as a woman?”

“Yes, Ma’am. Outside, except the winters, then I use a treadmill. In Chicago, where I live now.”

Dr. Knight said, “I see you are well along and more than well-adjusted than a lot of the people I see.” I smiled with relief on my face.

“Do you mind if I talk to your mother alone for a while, then you may come back in?”

I thanked the doctor for her time and consideration. Then I stood up to straighten my skirt as I grabbed my bag, magazine, and sweater. Dr. Knight rose with me as she walked me to the door.

“I’ll see you shortly, Miss Thomas.” I exited with her, and she said, “Mrs. Thomas.”

Mother told me after we left that she said the same story as I did, except she didn’t know much about my dating life. She explained about my girlfriends, lunches, and dinners. Mom brought her camera with her and showed Dr. Knight all the photos she had of me and others. I didn’t know she had. Plus, this morning’s bikini shot! Pictures of Fred and me and being the Maid of Honor for Sis’s wedding. Mom told me Dr. Knight’s eyes opened wide, watching the video of Fred and me dancing at the ball.

“What does your husband think about Savannah ?’

“Mother gulped and said, “He passed away her junior year of school. I know for a fact that he would have loved and supported her as his daughter.”

“My sorry for your loss. Please accept my condolences.”

“Thank you, Doctor Knight. I would have never gotten through it without my two daughters, Gwen and Savannah. Their love and support are what got me through it.”

Please stay here, Mrs. Thomas. Excuse me.” She got up and came to the waiting room.

“Miss Thomas.”

I rose, straightened my skirt again, grabbed my purse and sweater, walked in, and sat next to Mother crossing my legs. I saw Mother had a tear in her eye. I open my purse and handed her a tissue.

“Dr. Knight, I only see Savannah as one of my daughters. And her older Sister only sees her as her younger Sister.”

Dr. Knight called her front desk and asked when her next appointment was.

“You’re free the rest of the afternoon, Doctor.” Came out over the speakerphone.

“Thank you, Grace. Great, we have a little more time.”

We three talked about various issues that I may or will encounter. Dr. Knight mentions one of my biggest hurdles would be my work and my ability to transition there.

“I’ve already contacted H.R. and asked if they had a transition policy. They do, and my corporation seems very supportive.”

Mom was startled, “Savannah, you never told me that?”

“I’m so sorry, Mother, for not telling you about it. That’s why I’ve been on my laptop emailing work. I just found out this morning and was going to tell you, but then Fred’s flowers showed up for me. I got sidetracked.”

Mother said, “That’s fantastic, Savannah.” And at the same time, Dr. Knight said,

“Flowers? What flowers?”

Mother kinda embarrassed me when she told Dr. Knight about Fred’s bouquet and that she thinks I should marry him!”

I blushed as dark as a horrible sunburn.

“Miss Thomas. I am nothing short of being impressed and even more amazed by you. Your feminism is progressed light years past any of my clients or case studies I ever read about in any of my professional journals.” I still want your smooth skin. How do you do it?”

“Well, Doctor Knight, the first night my Sister, Gwen, dressed me with makeup, she also taught me this night regime of cleaning, exfoliating and moisturizing at night, and wearing sunscreen during the day on my face and body during the day. I’ve done it practically every day since then.”

“Well, it shows.” She said as she while looking in amazement at my face. Also, Miss Thomas, you seem very comfortable with who you are. You dress impeccably — I see you even carry a wrap, tissue, and hand moisturizer in your handbag. Plus, you act and talk like a woman. You fooled me when we first met. In fact, if I didn’t know any better, you look like you just walked out the top of your class from a Southern Bell Charm and Finishing School.” I looked at Mother with a huge smile when she said that last part.

“Why, thank you, Dr. Knight.”

My typical protocol would be to see you every couple of months and have you dress and work full time for one year. However, since you have surpassed what you need to transition and have a fantastic support system from your Mother and older Sister and that you have never been challenged as not being a woman, I’d be honored to assist you with your transition.

Mother almost knocked me over when she grabbed me, hugged me, and kissed me.

“Thank you, Dr. Knight,” as I pulled out a tissue since I felt like crying, and then held my hand up to my mouth and another one to my chest. She noticed that female gestures.

“When was your last physical and blood work?”

I was ready. I handed Dr. Knight the paperwork. “Less than two months ago.”

“Wow, Miss Thomas. Your resting heart rate is 47 BBM? I guess because you’re a runner. Is this from an EKG?” I shook my head, no. “Your cholesterol is perfect, and all of your other numbers too. These numbers certainly help me out a great deal.”

“Do you know what your body fat percentage is?”

“I believe the last time I had that checked by my gym’s performance center a couple of months ago, it was somewhere between 12-15%. I’ll be glad to have it retested when I return to work and send it to you if you need it.”

“That won’t be necessary, Miss Thomas. You’re in fantastic health, shape, and condition.”

“However, if I prescribe estrogen and testosterone blockers, you may not develop large breasts because of your low body fat percentage. Do you have any questions about what hormone replacement therapy will do to you?”

“No, Ma’am, Dr. Knight. I’ve researched it thoroughly.”

“And because of your low body fat percentage, I think perhaps breast augmentation may be the best option for you, but you should talk to a plastic surgeon about it. And you and your Mother should also discuss it as well. In the future, you may wish to have your vocal cords shaved a little big to keep your voice higher too. However, your cheek and jawbones look very feminine to me.

“I have a great colleague here in town. She is a fantastic plastic surgeon. I’ll give you her card in case you choose the breast augmentation procedure with her. Plus, I’ll write you a six-month prescription for Estrogen and a potent testosterone blocker. Which pharmacy do you use, Miss Thomas?”

“Costco, in Chicago. The one at Lincoln Park.”

“Then go online and sign up for their online pharmacy. Your prescription will come to your door. When you do that, I’ll have my nurse call it in. In the meantime, I’ll give you samples that will last you for several weeks. Okay?”

“Yes, Dr. Knight. Thank you. You have been so very kind and helpful in making my dream come true.”

“I want to see you in six-months or whenever you are home near that time frame.”

“I understand, of course, Dr. Knight. I plan on being back home for Easter.” She wrote my prescription to give to her nurse and went to the backroom to bring me the samples and the plastic surgeon’s card.

“Please have her call me if you choose to use her for your procedure if that is the option you choose, and I’ll send her my approval. I think we are finished for today. Oh, one more thing. I want you to think about it first. I would love to study you and your transition. And, hopefully, present a paper to a professional journal. I would only use your first name and initials of your last name only if you give me your permission.”

“Of course, I have no objections to that, Doctor Knight.”

Everything seems okay with me for now. Down the road, we can talk about reassignment surgery if you choose. I still want your skin!”

Dr. Knight stood up. I shook her hand and thanked her. She handed me a sample bag of hormones and syringes to hold me over until I return home to Chicago. I placed them in my purse.

“Mrs. Thomas, may I see you again privately?” I left for the waiting room.

“Mrs. Thomas, I am awe-stricken by your daughter. No one. I mean, absolutely no one could ever have convinced me that she wasn’t a real woman when she walked into this room. You must be very proud of how she looks, acts, demeanor, manners, voice, the way she presents herself, and, most importantly, her confidence. And that she was a Maid of Honor without any suspect. You and your other daughter’s support have been and will continue to be very important to her. I know you two will continue supporting her. I am so pleased to meet you.”

“Thank you, Dr. Knight. The pleasure is mine. I hope to see you in church sometime.”

Mother and I hugged each other in the waiting room then headed for my car.

As we walked to my car, I saw a store across the street named Indelible Reminders.

“Mom, I think that is a stationery store. Do you mind if we stop in so that I can pick up some thank you cards? I want to try to get one in the mail tomorrow to Fred. Do you have stamps?”

“Of course, dear. And I have plenty of stamps.”

At home, I sat down to write my thank you card to Fred for the beautiful bouquet.

Fred, you are so sweet and thoughtful. Thank you so much for the beautiful bouquet. They are lovely and smell divine. I am positive I will never meet such a wonderful gentleman like you. See you Wednesday night.

Love, Savannah.

I got Franklin’s address and a stamp from Mother and sealed it.

“Mom, is there still a post office box down the street?”

“Yes.”

“I’ll be right back.” As I walked to the mailbox, I also remembered when Gwen made me walk down here dressed as a girl. I dropped the thank you card in the mailbox. I had to pinch my skirt to keep the gust of wind from blowing it. I thought as I let the envelope slip from my fingers, “Did I just write, Love, Savannah ?’

“Have time to talk, dear, about what the Doctor said?”

“Sure, Mom, mind if I change into some shorts.” Mom is so sweet to me. She had some iced tea ready on the kitchen table. I sat next to her so we both could see the flowers.

“Savannah, what size bra are you wearing these days?” I assume you have thought about and considered breast augmentation surgery? I think the doctor may have made an excellent point due to your low percentage of body fat.”

“32A. It depends on the manufacturer when I wear these new attachable breast forms. I sure wish there were a better standard. I love how they look and feel. Do they look proportional to you, Mom? As for the question of surgery, yes, I have. I don’t want to look deprived in my chest department any longer. How much is the procedure? Recovery time. I’d love to show a little cleavage on occasion with some of my cute cocktail dresses and be able to hold up strapless dresses and bras on my own finally.” I kept talking. “What did you and Dr. Knight talk about at the end when I left?”

“She was still shocked and in disbelief that you were not a genetic woman. And that was amazed at your manners and demeanor, how you spoke, and your clothes. Dear, you do look and act like you graduated top of your class from a Southern Bell Charm and Finishing School.”

“That was so very kind of her to say that. I may not always flutter my eyelids or say, ‘Well, I do declare’ regularly, but I may occasionally get Southern Vapors. But I do know for sure I want the augmentation procedure.”

Mother laughed about my eye fluttering, statement, and especially the Southern vapors part.

“I think that is the best choice option for you, sweetie. Oh, I glad you spoke to your work about transitioning. Even better is that they support it.”

“Me too!” I’m tired of supporting two expensive wardrobes. And I can’t wait to get rid of my drab male clothes! I now wish I would have known about the policy when I started work there a year ago.”

“And reassignment surgery?”

“I think, for now, I’ll take one step at a time. Can’t wait for breasts — I don’t care if they’re fake ones.” As I looked down at my poor chest.

“Mom, please remind me to go online to Costco and apply for the online pharmacy they have. I wish I knew that earlier it would save me a lot of trips there. And so I can call Dr. Knight’s office with the information before they close for the day.”

“I am so happy for you, Savannah. But I’m still so saddened me to hear what you told your Sister about your loneliness.”

“Well, finally, I’m on my way to becoming a real woman! I’d still like us to talk to Sis about all this too when she gets back and has time.”

“You’ll always be a real woman in my and your sister’s eyes.”

“Would you like me to see if you and at least see the plastic surgeon before you leave? It may arm you with both more knowledge and information.

“Sure, Mom, I’d like that. Remember, we have dinner with the Franklin’s Wednesday night.”

“Savannah, my dear. Do you know what you may want for dinner tonight?”

I looked at Mom and thought a second. “Popcorn and a movie with the best Mom in the whole wide world.” Mother smiled.

“I’m going upstairs to get online on my computer now and apply for that Costco online pharmacy. I’ll be down after a while.” I had to explain Costco to Mom before I headed upstairs.

“Savannah, when you are finished, please bring me your hairbrush down with you.”

My hairbrush? I did as Mom asked. She had me sat on the floor cross-legged in front of Mother, and she brushed my hair like I used to watch her do Gwen when she was young and had long hair when we watch movies or television together. It felt heavenly. Stroke, stroke, stroke. I was so content from the day and having my hair brushed. I almost fell asleep.

I felt the weight of the entire world was finally lifted off me. I administered my first hormone injection before going to bed.

Chapter 20 – Tuesday.

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Category: Fiction