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TGF Retro Rerun: Courage and Beauty

The Editor | Feb 29, 2016

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Today we return to 1998 and reproduce a column by Stephanie K. In this column she talked about how she was affected by the experience of being en femme with some of her colleagues at an art show who had not met Stephanie before. She felt that it changed her and her friends for the better. She found that presenting herself en femme as a happy, healthy person was good for her as well as the public who admired her artistic attire. Could crossdressing be a public service?

Courage and Beauty

by Stephanie K

“Dear Stephanie,

Thank you so much for coming to the art show Friday night. Your courage and beauty are an inspiration to me and a reminder to me of the parts of myself that I keep hidden. This world can always use strong feminine role models. You will always have a place to stay in San Francisco as long as David and I are there. Come visit!

With Love,

Deirdre”

I received this letter with a small vase of colorful flowers on the last night of my visit to California earlier this summer. The letter was written by the partner of one of the guys I was staying with during the most recent professional development workshop I attended in Santa Barbara. Some of my colleagues in the workshop are artists, and they decided to display some of their work at a formal showing at the institute where we meet for the workshop sessions. I attended the art show wearing a lovely gown tailored by one of my woman friends. We had worked for a couple of days getting the pattern right (an Issey Miyake original!), the measurements, cutting, pinning, and sewing. The black stretchy/slinky fabric draped my figure quite flatteringly and the full scarf of black sparkly silk was the perfect dramatic accent to the soft cowl neckline.

My dressmaker friend wore another design that she had prepared for herself and we made our entrance to the show as walking works of art. As I turned and twirled, trying to show off her design in the best possible way, the small crowd gathered around sharing oooh’s, aah’s, and smiles of admiration and congratulation! This certainly was another exciting first time experience for me! After a while we all agreed that it just wouldn’t have been much of a fancy Southern California art opening without at least one classy crossdresser in attendance!! And that was when Deirdre met Stephanie.

Oh, she had met Steve earlier in the week out at the cottage where we were staying, and she had heard about Stephanie from earlier conversations with David. But Deirdre had never seen Stephanie up close and personal. We had a wonderful conversation about many things, travel, art, cooking, clothes. I was certainly grateful to her and the rest of the people attending the affair for being so open and accepting of my enjoyment and love of Stephanie.

I had a lot of fun that night with supportive straight people who loved me for all of who I am. But Deirdre’s letter moved me on a much deeper level. Through my tears as I read her letter over several times, I realized that I contribute a service to the people who I meet and interact with as Stephanie. I display courage and beauty generated at a deep essence level of my being. I show people that I can accept and have fun with who I really am, which is especially gratifying following the long years that I inhabited my dark closet of shame. I show people that they have nothing to fear being in my presence (I don’t bite!). I show people that exposing hidden parts of ourselves can really be a simple, lively, healthy thing to do. How clean and refreshing it is to live outside the fear and loathing of what we THINK crossdressing (or anything else we keep hidden away) means! I am a better man for my crossdressing, not a smaller one! So, during my three weeks in California I was able to do much more of this special service.

I attended another evening party of newly-met friends from another group at the institute who had not seen Stephanie before. I wore my new fuschia broomstick skirt with matching sleeveless T and raspberry cardigan. It turned out to be pretty amazing because I was in the kitchen for several minutes with two of the women who had observed me when I walked in but didn’t recognize me until I went up and introduced myself (seems like my voice gives me away even when my 6’4″, 240 lb. frame doesn’t). The double-takes they both did were quite delightful. I even got to kick off my shoes and dance up a storm on the living room rug later when the wine had taken effect and the funky music rocked the stereo.

And I did further service up in the San Francisco Bay area a week later by going to dinner and a movie in downtown Sausalito with Rivkah, a lovely woman friend. (BTW, the audience for “The Horse Whisperer” was about 95% women. I loved it! And the movie was pretty good, too.) After the movie we drove into San Francisco and met Gabrielle, another woman friend who enjoys being in the presence of Stephanie, and we strolled up and down Chestnut Street in the Marina District checking out the shops and cafes. I felt at ease in my black floral print skirt, red shiny T, and black cardigan. It was a warm, balmy night by SF standards and we wound up sipping minted iced tea at a sidewalk table as WE did the people-watching for a change. On the way home we stopped at the turnout on the Marin County side of the Golden Gate bridge and spent a few enchanting minutes gazing back at the dramatically-lit bridge with the sparkling San Francisco skyline off to the side. The stars and moon seemed like a magical extension of the city lights up into the sky! It wound up being a California trip that this mild-mannered CD from Minnesota would always remember. Imagine, I was able to have all this fun while performing a useful service, too! Whatta deal!