Summer Days Driftin’ Away

Here in Philadelphia, we’re in the middle of summer. Summers here in Philly mean temperatures in the 90s with high humidity. Sizzling! We just ended a stretch of eleven days with temperatures in the high 90s/low 100s, had a day in the 80s, now back into a string of 90+ probably until the end of July. And, as my sisters in the desert southwest will tell you, air conditioning will only reduce a room’s temperature by about twenty degrees (unless you go industrial.) So that meant there was no real escape . . . except for places with industrial air conditioning like theaters, malls, book stores and Bars.

Bars also have drinks. With ice. Just saying.

Summer is my favorite season for so many reasons. First off, I hate cold weather. (To which people ask “then why did you go to a college in the middle of the mountains?’ I always say “for an education.”) Snow makes people crash their cars. Only good thing about winter is that it ends. Autumn is good for football and Halloween. Spring is a time for renewal and Baseball!

Some of my best memories are from summer. It’s always meant Freedom for me, even long after my school days ended. The best concerts I ever saw were in the Summer: Elvis Costello, Talking Heads, The Who, Men at Work (well INXS opening was really good anyway!), Bruce Springsteen and many Grateful Dead shows. However, music isn’t the reason for this column.

The first time I ever dressed was in the summer. My parents were away. I remember it so well. The feelings of shame, and of release. Confusion and happiness. That’s changed a lot over time. Now I’m no longer confused. Nor ashamed. Now being Sophie is a realization and a Joy. She is who I am, and I am She!

To She or not to She? That is the question!

Summer can be a stressful time for T-girls. For those of us who aren’t full time, summer means wrestling with issues like Shaving. Some T-girls take “vacations” during the summer as they’re unable to disguise shaved legs or chest while wearing shorts and going shirtless. Being unable to express themselves means added stress. I know this pain, as I usually can only be myself once a month.

In fact, this weekend is a HUGE TG party near Philly, but I can’t go as I have to work. So I have to wait until NEXT week, and The Laptop Lounge.

Some of us want to wear swimsuits to the beach, be they bikinis or one piece, but fear the inevitable feminine tan lines. Some wish they could wear the more revealing outfits of summer but can’t pull them off, be that due to size, age or whatever.

I wish I could wear a bikini. The whole idea of showing off a feminine body — MY feminine body — a dream come true.

The Freedom to be Who I am.

To She!

Alas that’s many pounds to lose and many other things to change first as well. Then there’s the fact I am of a “certain age” so I’d look ridiculous in a bikini. VERY few genetic women my age can successfully rock a bikini, and they have the advantage of being, well, genetic!

Summer means another thorny little point. I need to wear makeup, especially to cover what’s left of my beard. Makeup clogs pores and is heavy. And I sweat. I don’t perspire — I SWEAT. As my dear friend Lisa Empanada said: “How do I keep from melting?” I have no clue. If someone knows, please tell me.

Also on the makeup front, I am told that there is makeup with sunscreen! I have to find this! I fry very easily and I am VERY paranoid about skin cancer. So, makeup with sunscreen that won’t make me melt. And that matches my skin tone. And makes me beautiful in a bikini.

Not so much to ask is it?

While I wait, you can find me in an industrial air conditioned place, enjoying my favorite season. With ice.

Just saying.

I love summer!

Tags: featured, Identity, passing

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion