Retro Rerun: Tap Into Your Feminine Energy
Most of the time our Retro Reruns come from TGForum’s archives but this particular re-run comes from LadyLike magazine, Volume #35, published in 1998. JoAnn Roberts was the publisher and I was the editor. As editor I got to write an editorial for each issue. Hopefully people found the topics useful. While taking a look at the Digital Transgender Archive I found this issue and decided to bring back the editorial. I think it can still be useful to crossdressers in 2017 so here it comes again.
The old days when I was the Renaissance executive director.
One evening I was working at the Renaissance office (in my capacity as executive director of that fine organization) and was performing my duties in my male aspect. Yes ladies, I do the dude thing now and then. A Renaissance member stopped into the office, and obviously didn’t recognize me. When she did figure it out she looked shocked, and said, “Oh, I thought you were a transsexual.”
That made me stop and give the matter some thought. It helped to give me a little perspective on how others see me. After some cogitation I can say safely that I’m not a transsexual. No, I’m just your garden variety (or is that Gardner variety) transvestite. I wear women’s clothing and interact with the rest of the world as a woman because it’s fun. I’m not gender dysphoric, trapped in the wrong body, (I could do without all the body hair) or anything like that. Wearing women’s clothes and being called “Miss” is a great kick. Why then do I get mistaken for a transsexual from time to time? Could it be attitude?
When I first wore my mother’s clothes I had a great deal of fear about being discovered. That added to the thrill. It gave the act of opening Mom’s cedar chest and getting out those old dresses from the 1940s seem a lot like a secret mission into enemy territory — a secret mission in disguise. It took years to get out of that top secret mind set and tell anyone about my desire to dress in women’s clothes. (In fact a lot of adult crossdressers feel the same way they did when they were kids when it comes to being discovered. It’s like arrested development.)
Over the intervening years — from the Mom’s cedar chest to my own closet stuffed with feminine finery, from Operation Top Secret, to being on national television — I have learned a lot about the art of femininity.
Oh yes, I learned makeup application, how to make a wig look like it’s actually your hair and not a fur hat. I picked up style and taste, and how to know which bag goes with which outfit. But, in the process of learning all that physical, artifice stuff about being a woman I also picked up the ability to use my feminine energy.
It started as a desire to wear the clothes in public and not be embarrassed by having people point out the man in a dress. I didn’t have much feminine energy going for me when I was sitting around the house in drag, watching television. Or when I walked around the block at three in the morning with my heart pounding so loud I was sure it would wake the neighbors. When I finally started to mingle in society en femme I felt that I should try to act as feminine as possible. Not in an exaggerated manner, over emphasizing feminine attributes and hoping to distract attention from masculine factors, but in a natural, womanly way. (The glamour babes get a lot of attention, but observe the more subdued women and note the difference between glamour and femininity.)
For the first few years Angela was always very shy and quiet. (Boy, those days are gone.) I felt I should be careful about how I presented myself so that my manliness didn’t draw attention. (I have been told that my quietness was often taken for an aloof attitude. Translation: “Why’s she such a bitch?” Lesson: if you’re gonna be quiet be sure to smile a lot, and look quiet but friendly.)
At some point my feminine energy, which is present in all of us but usually gets stifled by conforming to tough male roles, started to grow. Fed by the clothing and watered with makeup and perfume my feminine energy developed to the point that when Angela is out she has an aura of femininity. Call it a mental attitude if you want, but when I interact it’s the feminine energy that is responsible for any passing, or being mistaken for a transsexual, that I manage.
It’s this feminine energy, or attitude, that will help you to pass more than all the prosthetic devices, makeup, or even hormone treatments. If you radiate from your feminine energy you will have people relating to you as a woman, even if you aren’t as beautiful as Jacqueline Bisset, and even if they know that you aren’t female.
Be mindful, however, that it’s difficult to manage.
Like all natural phenomena it’s not always under our control. Even women can get masculine from time to time, so if your masculine energy decides to emerge while you’re strolling down a sunny, downtown street in a floral print dress it may have people making rude comments about you being a guy. (Heaven knows it’s happened to me.) That’s when it’s important to not retreat to those days of Operation Top Secret, and get on with your activities for the day. Chances are, if they are of a femme-affirming nature, you’ll soon be back to your feminine energy in no time at all.
Have fun!
Find more old trans magazines online at the Digital Transgender Archive.
Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender How To, Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
Angela Gardner is a founding member of The Renaissance Transgender Assoc., Inc., former editor of its newsletter and magazine, Transgender Community News. She was the Diva of Dish for TGF in the late 1990s and Editor of LadyLike magazine until its untimely demise. She has appeared in film and television shows portraying TG characters, as well as representing Renaissance on numerous talk shows.Subscribe
If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to receive more just like it.
