Retro Rerun: Couples and Complacency

By Julie Freeman

You would think that when both the crossdresser and his significant other find a compromise in their relationship regarding crossdressing that they are happy with that everything would progress smoothly and positively. Problems were discussed; issues were resolved; guidelines were determined; boundaries were set. Everything should now be fine.

Only, as we know, too often this is not the case. Somehow as both the crossdresser and his significant other begin to relax over what was once a tense situation, they may become complacent and forget just what the compromise really meant.

The crossdresser may begin to feel so comfortable that he begins to push the envelope a bit – more crossdressing, more activities, more clothes, etc. His significant other may not even realize at first such escalation until suddenly she realizes he is not going to just one activity a week, he is going to two! He is not just buying an occasional dress, he is buying many!

The significant other also may become complacent and believe that the issues facing her crossdresser that have been shelved for awhile — so to speak — as part of the compromise are really still simmering on the back burner. Suddenly she is shocked back into reality when she realizes that these issues have not only not gone away, but they also might be even stronger issues — issues such as hormones, surgery, living full time.

When couples who are not really committed to each other find their compromise beginning to fray and beyond repair, they may choose to end the relationship. This scenario is not that unusual as we all know.

What about those couples who are in a committed relationship? Just what should they do when they see old problems emerging again, fears and concerns cropping up and taking over.

Obviously complacency will have to go. Once again they will have to sit down and discuss the issues, set new guidelines if necessary, recreate boundaries perhaps. Once again there will have to be compromises, perhaps new and different.

They will have to decide if their relationship together is more important than the concerns and needs of each one singly.

(This article originally appeared in Devil Woman, the newsletter of the Diablo Valley Girls.)

Tags: crossdressing, featured, partners

Category: crossdressing