Relaxed Casual

Back when your TGForum columnist was a 1980s teenager, there was a huge hit song by Frankie Goes To Hollywood called Relax. It soared to top chart positions all over the globe, and even spawned a brief-lived fashion trend involving this slogan on T-shirts. To this day, it remains one of the signature dance songs of the era. (Shortly afterward, said writer discovered Led Zeppelin, and she quickly moved on to hard rock and heavy metal.)

Relaxed casual (ca. 1984).

Attending public schools as I did, I experienced casual dress codes from kindergarten in the mid-1970s, through my undergraduate days in the early 1990s. Along the way, I witnessed my share of casual fashion trends – the good, the bad and the ugly. I then found myself navigating adult dress codes, chiefly in work settings. During these 30 years, I have witnessed the progression (if indeed that is the correct term) of workplace style standards as follows:

Business professional. When I began my professional career, this was the almost universal dress code in office settings. For women, this meant skirt suits (hemlines at the knee or below), a nice blouse, hosiery and heeled shoes. While it was an expensive standard to uphold, the rules were clear. And it also allowed for individual expressions of style within a tasteful limitation.

Business casual. As office environments became more relaxed during the 1990s, the dress code followed. This standard generally meant no jeans, sneakers or tees, with good personal grooming and nothing too revealing (nothing clingy or too low-cut). For women, this allowed for many options. A sweater with slacks or a skirt, with dressy loafers or nice flats, was perfectly appropriate in colder weather. Milder days allowed for lighter weight tops and skirts or pants, and on summer days one could wear a tasteful sleeveless shirt with capris and sandals.

Smart casual. By the 2010s, the boundaries were being pushed toward even more casualness at work in every way. It also became necessary for dress codes to account for the increased prevalence of visible body art and piercings. The standards that emerged at this time included more acceptance of jeans, tees, higher hemlines and shoe styles that often seemed more fit for a nightclub than an office setting. This dress code was called “smart casual”. (I always liked to joke that in practice, it proved to be more casual than smart.)

Relaxed casual. With the increasing prevalence of hybrid work arrangements in the 2020s – combined with a general collapse of common style standards or effort – effectively anything goes now, as long as it’s in good taste and good condition. Many professional employees have embraced a leisure standard of dress for a work life of videoconferencing from home. (Or, to paraphrase another 1980s dance song: “Zoom, zoom, zoom/Let me stay in my room/Until the day turns to night/‘Cause that would be out of sight…”)

Thank heaven, my remote days ended this past September. I personally like having a clear separation between home and work, and this includes how I dress. Even on those rare occasions when I work from home, I would never think of doing so in my pajamas or in fitness gear. I put a lot of thought, effort and expense into building a daily wardrobe that I like. Now that I am fully out at my workplace, I aspire to wear more than tees and jeans or leggings with sneakers to the office on a daily basis. All the same, I don’t wish to overdo it, and risk alienating the other ladies in the process.

My office looks this past winter generally featured nice sweaters with slacks, jeans or leggings, and casual flats or ankle boots. Some days, I sometimes sported a wool skirt and tall boots, or added a wrap over a light turtleneck sweater. But I always attempted to maintain a fresh appearance, with fun accessories, makeup colors, seasonal manicures, and modest use of perfume and scent. Often, these items were the subject of favorable personal comment from colleagues – both male and female. (One coworker recently paid me the wonderful complement of saying that she would like to raid my closet!)

So now, with spring weather finally on the way, this is the time to put the style back into “relaxed casual”. Whether at work or at leisure, in milder temperatures, the bright colors return at long last. Some of my selections include these lighter tops, with cotton pants or pretty A-line skirts. Shoes and accessories will be similarly in line with the season, with fun jackets or a cardi for warmth when necessary. (And although certainly not part of your outward appearance, what’s on underneath should be just as seasonal and fun!)

As one can see, I’m personally a big fan of pastels and prints. Although simple, these are certainly neither drab nor monochromatic. I can attest that adventurous colors and textures, when well-coordinated, certainly elicit more than just a passing glance.

Springtime relaxed casual!

As the summer approaches and the temperatures reach higher, lightweight items will become the order of the day. But as with spring, this doesn’t have to mean basic. Sleeveless or cap-sleeve tops can finally be worn without a jacket. Bright colors and patterns go well with pants, capris, skirts or shorts. Sundresses of appropriate style can be worked into your routine, with or without a shrug. Cute shoes (espadrilles, wedges, mules, etc.) fit the bill, with a seasonal pedicure for good measure. And this is definitely the time of year to incorporate body lotion or perfume into your routine.

Before transitioning, I never realized just how much enjoyment was to be derived from preparing seasonal ensembles for everyday outings. There is a real sense of accomplishment when interacting confidently in public, knowing that you look and feel your best from head to toe. The fun and freedom that comes with being able to openly talk shop and compare fashion notes with female colleagues truly makes me look forward to going to work each morning. That’s not something one can ever experience in a remote setting.

Even now, there seem to be many who still don’t wish to return to public environments. As someone who self-closeted much too long for other reasons, I choose to be out and visible, going forward in hopefully every way. The masquerade – literally and figuratively – is over. That is what “relaxed casual” means to me.

So even if your professional life has recently become hybrid or remote, there’s no reason for that to mean dull or effortless. Spice it up a bit, and show everyone that “relaxed casual” can be a way of life, not just a dress code!

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Tags: featured, style, Transgender, Transition

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion