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Recapping So Far

| Mar 27, 2023
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As the wife of a long-time crossdresser, I was invited to begin contributing to TGForum about nine months ago to share the perspective and experiences from a cisgender woman’s point of view.  Since then, I have written about my familiarity with this community and the unexpected — sometimes hurtful — ordeals it caused in my marriage and how it ultimately changed the course of my life.  It wasn’t easy to stay with my husband when the full scope of his secret life was revealed, but I chose to stick it out for reasons that could be deemed self-serving.  I know my motivation for staying, but I am unsure what his is or why he wanted to get married in the first place.

In September, I shared the results of a survey I conducted asking a series of questions to my cisgender sisters that revealed how the wives and life partners of crossdressers and transgender people really felt about the pursuit.  I wrote about the potential consequences of keeping private pastimes a secret and offered suggestions on how to spill the saucer of secrets.  The effect that the controversial series “Transparent” had on my journey from “knowledge to understanding” was a topic of one submission, and another described the hateful response I received after a visitor read my blog. Oddly, the visitor read the entire blog even though they found it disgusting and offensive, prompting me to ask, “if something doesn’t taste good, why would you keep eating it?”

It can be challenging to find ways to openly discuss topics and points of view that are not always approving of the CD or TG lifestyle or the choices individuals make, particularly when it comes to the undisclosed activities one engages in that can be devastating to relationships.  Striving to find balance and being fair but also being candid about what us wives go through is not easy when you can’t personally relate to the driving forces or the emotional and biological factors that go into being a CD or TG.  Although not all of my cisgender sisters feel the same way, I continue to staunchly believe every one of us has the right to live our lives as we choose so long as others are not the casualties of our choices.

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Category: crossdressing


About the Author ()

I am married to a long-term crossdresser. Visit my blog at to learn more about my experiences with this rare community.

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