Re-Resolutioned

Another year has gone. 2012 is but a memory. Another year of our lives is behind us.

Last year, in this very column, I made a couple of New Year’s Resolutions. They were:

1) Stop the lying to my wife.
2) Help others

So, now that the year is finished, it’s time to see if I did what I said I’d do.

Notice what I DIDN’T say: I never said I’d lose weight or stop drinking or stuff like that.

So. Did I stop lying to my wife? Yes. I told her about being transgender back in May. She was far more receptive than I thought she would be, and I wasn’t thrown out. In fact, we’re communicating better than we have in years. I never dared dream that this would be the outcome.

So that was one resolution kept.

Part two. Did I help others?

I guess I should define the term. Is opening a door for a woman with a baby carriage helping? Yes, but I just consider that Common Courtesy. That’s way I was taught. (My parents did many, many bad things to me as a child, but they DID teach me proper manners. Now if I could only keep my elbows off the table.)

So, the question stands — did I help others? I’d like to think I did. I’ve been told I have. I’ve done some volunteering here and there. I’ve given pointers to T-girls just starting out. I’ve stopped to render assistance at a couple of car accidents. Given rides to people who needed them, especially as a designated driver. Gone out of my way to help a friend with a flat tire. Edited college essays for the children of friends who needed the help.

Could I have done more? Of course. I could always do more. I know of a few friends who had GRS that I never visited when they were laid up. Was I out marching with my sisters at any of the vigils for the transpeople murdered in Philly this year? No.

So there’s room for improvement.

But, I’ll still say that I kept that resolution. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.
As to other common resolutions? Well, I stopped drinking for five months, and as a result lost twenty pounds.

So — looks like I did fairly well at this resolution thing. So — do I want to try it again? Do I dare to eat a peach? Do I dare disturb the Universe? Do I dare quote Eliot?

I guess I do.

So what’s next?

I’ll try to improve upon my second resolution. Help Others. Do More.

I’ll try to help at least one person a day.

Let’s examine this past year, shall we? We had an election in which the level of Hate in this country, fueled by a right wing propaganda machine of unprecedented power, rose to a level not seen since 1861. And, like then, a bunch of people (I won’t call them Americans) who didn’t like the results of the election threatened to secede.

We had a presidential candidate disrespect almost half the nation. People of that same party, on national TV, wildly applauded the idea of 237 being executed by Texas. They also booed a Soldier for being homosexual.

Not long ago, 26 people were gunned down in cold blood at a school. One group’s response was that we should arm everyone in schools.

Yes, the Times they have a Changed, Bob, and not for the better. People are just being meaner. Helping others is considered “socialistic” or worse: “Liberal.”

Good thing I’m a known Liberal, so I can carry out my planned resolution.

Last year, I closed by saying I’m not going to tell anyone how to run their lives. I still won’t. I can only conduct one (perhaps two) people’s lives: Mine (and by role as a parent, my young daughter’s.)

These are hateful times. Maybe, just maybe, by helping others I can lighten my very small corner of the world.

It’s worth a try.

Thanks for reading me this year. I am very grateful.

Be Well, and have a Peaceful New Year.

Tags: featured, opinion, resolutions

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion