Now What?

Well, dear reader, another year is finished. 2014 is all but history. As I type this, there is less than a week left. What a year it has been.

Last year at this time, I wrote about Fear. And how I try to overcome it. I listed several events that were, at that time, upcoming, but are now history. I came out to my parents and my brother; I came out at work; and, finally, went full time as a Woman. Christmas marked nine months full time. I even had my gender marker changed on my driver’s license. In Pennsylvania, I am legally female.

Each of these events scared the hell out of me. But over time the fear faded. Where once the idea of walking around a mall as Sophie petrified me, I now do it routinely. Going to work in a skirt, which was absolutely terrifying, is now also routine. In fact, I can’t imagine doing either as a Male anymore.

So Now What?

We in the Transgender Community are special people. We have a unique perspective on life that only we have. We see it from both extremes of the gender spectrum. We have been one gender (or pretended to be) and also seen things through the eyes of the opposite gender. I had male privilege… and I surrendered it.

2015 is coming and with it new challenges. I couldn’t wait for 2013 to end, as it was a horrific year, filled with Death and Tears. I can’t wait for 2014 to end…

…because I can’t wait to see what 2015 will hold.

I’d like to think that 2015 will hold my name change and perhaps more. If I win the lottery, I can schedule some surgeries. Perhaps I will get promoted at work, or find another job that pays a living wage. So much Positive can happen.

I’m no Pollyanna (as those who know me personally know too well.) Plenty can go wrong as well. My car just broke down and that will cost big bucks. I avoided being homeless by a matter of days… then avoided it again as money ran out by finally getting a second roomie. Getting my Letters for GRS are not a certainty. So many things…

But, dear Reader, I CHOOSE to look at the positive now. Where in the past I would see only the negative then cry in my whiskey about how Unfair life can be, I now try to have a more positive outlook. And do you know what? It works. I feel so much better about, well, everything.

Yes, things can still go wrong for any of us. As I type this, I have a dear friend who is experiencing horrible times. I hope that she can hang on. It won’t be easy — I have seen what the Darkness does to people, and I have experienced it first-hand. But I can wallow in my fear for her, or I can try to be proactive and Help. Easier said than done, but impossible if I focus on the Negative.

2015 will be what I make of it. And what YOU make of it. As I said before, we are Special people. We must always remember that.

Always remember. Remember those we’ve lost. Be mindful of risks. But remember that the rewards can be oh so worth it. Remember, you CAN be who and what you need to be.

If I can do it, so can you.

Have a Peaceful 2015. Be well.

Tags: featured, Identity, opinion, Transgender, Transition, Transsexual

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion