Nikki’s Weekend Adventures

Nikki Nicole

Happy Monday Morning, and the rest of the day as well. This weekend was one of those two day spreads that I want to live over and over again. And who says I can’t? I’m limited only by my desire, willpower and action – or is it inaction?

The same goes for all of us. Regardless of whether you realize the truth, you do have control over your situation, at least to some degree.

Okay, back to my weekend. My co-conspirator and I started Saturday with breakfast at the local diner. The crowd was thick and ebullient. We sat by the window and partook vicariously in the happenings at nearby tables. We passed conversation between us, planning the day. The second stop was a return to the local super department store. We intended to stop only to process a return and garner a refund but sale racks beckoned and I became the proud owner of a new handbag, dress and accessories – all will be on display at The Raven (a TG get together in New Hope, Pa.) this coming weekend.

After that my co-conspirator and I returned to our abode. The co-conspirator, for the record, is my mother. She is a bad influence, pointing me to all the sale racks and helping Nikki expand her wardrobe. I’m searching for clothes that come with closet space as an accessory. That would be a real find for this girl.

Sunday was another story, that I will attach to this because it is a carryover, a noteworthy day that will forever be sculpted on my psyche.

A close TGirl friend and I enjoyed a shopping extravaganza with two new and very dear friends from the neighboring community. Not community in the traditional sense. I am making reference to a community of people – real people with real lives and real feelings, real souls filled with love and understanding. More about these two wonderful people later.

We coalesced in and around a suburban shopping mall. The weather threatened to ruin the day but we are intrepid and refused to permit our naughty Mother Nature to impose conditions on our planned frolic.

Our day began with greetings – you know the kind – hugs, kisses and smiles genuine warm and heartfelt. We chatted – like four girls on a shopping trip. Wait, we are four girls on a shopping trip. Strolling carefree through the mall we sauntered into H&M. I don’t know what the letters represent but based upon our success, I would speculate Hers and Mine. We perused the offerings, walking from rack to rack pulling out potentially flattering tops, skirts and dresses. Walking hand in hand we carried our bounty to the dressing room and modeled each item. There is something about posing in front of a mirror, but there is more gratification when you pose in front of a friend and spin lightly on tip toes as your shopping partner in crime smiles and provides critique. I’m enjoying the aftershocks of those feelings. My toes are curling with delight!

After an hour in H&M and a bag filled with bargains, we stepped back into the mall giggling and chit chatting as if all the cares in the world were washed away by the torrential downpours.

Next to the lady’s room. Yes the lady’s room in the mall. Out of respect and exhibiting a little more than slight trepidation I asked, “Is it going to be a problem using the lady’s room?” To wit I was told in no uncertain terms, “That’s where we’re going. Why not, you’re a lady.” And with a hug and a confident squeeze of my trembling hand the four of us giggled and chatted our way in. There were humorous exchanges and lightheartedness that helped me feel not only at home but comfortable. A woman, I’m a woman, I told myself and believed the words.

Next came lunch and frank and revealing conversation. You know true friends when they leave the varnish at home, fail to embellish and make it a point to look you in the eye. And you feel comfortable opening the door to your soul and welcoming them.

After lunch, during which my TGirl friend and I shared two pasta dishes – and playfully entertained our gender girl hostesses, we flitted over to Forever 21. Fun has a new name – it’s called “Shopping”. And this girl was in her element in this quartet.

The salesgirls were helpful and gracious, even complimenting our outfits and makeup. Smiles from us, engaging and welcoming, when they first encountered us sent a pleasant message that we are approachable. Helpfulness from them was gratifying. It doesn’t take much to fit in, to belong, even to blend.

I know, some of us don’t want to blend, you want to bend others to your way. If there is a lesson to learn, follow the disaster that occurred, not once, but twice, when engineers attempted to change the course of the Mighty Mississippi. You can sail whatever boat you like (red, white, chartreuse, lavender, black, striped – you get the idea), but if you attempt to sail your boat in a direction the current is not flowing, you will undoubtedly suffer resistance. There’s a bright line between being an explorer and being an invader. Explorers discover and invaders are repelled. You’ve got to understand the culture and the nuances. Life existed before we came along and will exist long after we are gone. Do you want to leave a good impression, lay a few more cobblestones on the road to acceptance for those who will follow? Or do you want to erect barriers, speed humps, or tear up pathway carefully and painstakingly laid by others? I am not digressing, these are all interconnected.

This weekend has set my gyroscope, cleaned the lens of my viewfinder, drew new images on the map of my life. I am on a high that cannot be quelled. But more importantly, the bonds between my TGirl friend and I are stronger. And the two gender girl friends have etched their names across my heart and touched a place in my soul that yearns for the depth of friendship and caring that transcends anything life can conjure up.

Thank you girlfriends for being the definition of friend. As mist forms copiously around my brown orbs and threatens rain, I feel vindicated and alive. I see my course and desire with new vigor to pursue that which is rightfully mine.

I hope my little adventure encourages you to take another step in your life. Find your direction, discover your friends, unearth the freedom that awaits if you are willing to take a chance.

Tags: featured, Out & About, passing

Category: Transgender Body & Soul