My Favorite Answers

This week I got my new state ID in the mail. As I opened the envelope I glanced at the ID without really looking at it too closely. My first thought was, “Aww, man, those stupid people sent me the wrong ID. They sent some girl’s ID instead.” Then as I pulled it out and examined more closely I realized it was me. I was the girl in photo.

That led me to think back at all I have been through the past 3 years of my transition. Now I don’t want this to turn into some self-aggrandizing article. My intent is simply an acknowledgment of how far I have come and the long journey I took to get here. I have to be honest, when I started this life’s alteration; I was one ugly woman. If you would have told me then that I would turn out like I have; well I seriously would never have believed you. I also want to assure you that even if you are the ugly woman that was, don’t give up. Read female magazines such as Allure, Vogue, or Marie Claire. I tend to stay away from Cosmopolitan as they are more concerned with how to have an earth shattering orgasm then about makeup or fashion. Make YouTube your friend. Study cisgender women, notice how they walk, stand, and the way they use their hands. Fall in love with makeup. There are tons of resources on the internet. I would like to recommend Susan’s Place, a fabulous online guide to most anything you want to know. Most important of all though I would recommend a good LGBTQ friendly therapist.

While I agree that there is no right way to be transgender. You need to be the person that you are comfortable being. Still, on the other hand, don’t be afraid to stretch your boundaries and explore being this new person. I don’t know how for me is not a reason. 

I also would like to share my favorite answers that I have given to stupid people. Now I’m not talking about people who ask questions because they are trying understand. I’m talking about those people that are trying to trap you into admitting that you’re doing something wrong or unnatural. Such as: “God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.” “Yes that’s true, but God also created more one type of animal. Even in the same species you have variations of the same animal. God even created animals that change sex and behavior to more closely resemble their opposite gender. You don’t have to believe me, you can look it up. Try researching: Transgender animals”.

One of my more humorous encounters happened once when I was standing in line. Now at this point I was still at that stage of being not quite a boy and not definitely not a girl either. This man looks at me with that “what the. . . ?” Look and then asked me what my name was. I told him Chrissy. To which he replied”

“No I mean your real name?”

“Chrissy.”

“No I mean your true name?”

“Chrissy”

“No, I mean the name that God gave you?”

“Chrissy. Now if you’re asking what my birth name is, that’s not information you need to know because that person no longer exist.”

The fact that I’m a transgender lesbian throws people off balance, too. I have had more than one person tell me that I was only dressing like a girl, “To get free dick” My answer is simple,

“Think about it. If I don’t want mine, why in the world would I want yours?”

Or they might say something like:

“Well if you like girls then why not stay a man?”

“Because I’m not a man. I tried to be a man for 46 years and it didn’t work. How long am I supposed to keep banging my head against the wall before I stop?”

Then there are those that try making a joke out of my being transgender by saying,

“I can understand that, I’m really a lesbian trapped in a man’s body, Ha, ha, ha.”

“Well I tell you what, when you get the uncontrollable urge to shave your hairy body and wear a dress, come back and talk to me.”

Then there is the more aggressive type. “Hey you’re a dude!”

 “No, but that doesn’t change the fact that you’re still a jerk.”

Okay that one I don’t really recommend that you use. As for me, as intelligent as I am; sometimes I’m not too smart.”

I have also had had people refuse to use the correct pronoun saying, “Don’t expect me to call you a girl just because you’re confused.”

“That’s really funny because I am less confused now than I have ever been in my entire life.”

Or how about, “You’re only doing this to get attention and because it’s popular right now.”

“Really? Then why did I wait for so many years to do this when I could have had this attention as a kid when I did need it?”

The point that I’m trying to make here is: don’t let people make you feel ashamed of who you are. They have no understanding of what goes on inside your head and your heart. They have no way of understanding the emotional pain that makes us willing to give up our families and often our entire life to just be who we are. The transgender life is not for sissies. (Sorry I couldn’t resist.) It takes a strong person to be true to yourself. To stand up and say I’m not the person everyone thinks I am. I am me. Like me or not this is who I am. I truly believe the mantra I always say at the end of my stories, I hope I can convince you to believe it too;

I am strong, I am beautiful, and Trans proud.

Chrissy

Tags: featured, Transgender

Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion