More to it…???

So, I wear clothing designed for women. I paint my face to appear more like a female. Maybe most importantly, I try to act like a woman when I’m dressed. So obviously, this is more than a fetish.

If it was just about the clothes, why do I adopt the character of a woman?

That’s the point right there. Could it be that it’s my character, my personality, that I’m not ultimately happy with? (And by “I”, I mean “some of us”.)

Yes, there are true transsexuals out there: people whose bodies don’t match their souls. And yes, on the other end of the spectrum, there are fetishists: those who just like the feel or the look of a certain type of fabric. (And yes, there are those who have a foot in both of those categories.)

And there are those of us in between. Some closer to one end, some closer to the other. (Duh, Ronnie. Get to the point.)

I wear many masks: at work, it’s the mask of cool professionalism, when inside, I’m wondering if I’m good enough. In social situations, my disguise is that of an outgoing, confident, likable fellow, when in reality, I’m scared to death people won’t like me.

It’s been like that since grade school, when I learned how to hide feelings: if you showed weakness, bullies would pick on you.

What if this Ronnie “character” is just another mask, to hide feelings of masculine inadequacy? (Give or take a bit of fetishness, and transsexuality.)

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