Memo from the Boss

Date: Decemeber 29, 2006
To: Transgender Forum Staff and Writers
From: TGF Management
Re: Annual TGF Holiday party

We here at TGForum hope everyone enjoyed our annual holiday party, last weekend. It’s one of the perks we like to offer to keep you happy. However, there are a few concerns that need to be raised.

1. After the party, 9 earrings, 3 wigs and a bra were in the conference room, and in the hallways. Please identify to claim at the security desk, in the lobby.
2. Toliet paper is not an appropriate decoration for the company tree. And when we invited you to decorate your desks and cubicles, Saran wrap is not acceptable.
3. A buffet table should not consist of 30 bags of tortilla chips, and 30 jars of salsa. If employees cannot bring what they said they would, instead of stopping at the store on the way to work, the potluck will be discontinued.
4. Roxy DuMonde has asked that her spike heels not be used as lawn darts.
5. There was an extraordinary amount of copier paper used sometime during the party. Please, people. Refrain from photocopying your new breasts.
6. FTM members of the staff should not feel obliged to show off their new “units”, no matter how much urging they receive.
7. Cheese is not faxable.
8. Just because someone is wearing a white blouse, and is petite, does not mean they should be forcibly placed atop the tree.
9. Who ever spelled out “Feliz Navidad” in lip prints on the 27th floor windows, please clean it up. No questions asked.
10. In the future, please stay off the roof. Astronauts on the International Space Station cannot, and do not want to see “Uranus”.
11. Keeping with TGF policy on gambling, there are no office pools on college football bowl games.
12. Panties should never be stapled to the ceiling. It looks unprofessional.
13. The company limos should not be used for beer runs, or bar crawls.
14. Although the dress code for the party has traditionally been casual, leather catsuits are not acceptable.
15. After the unfortunate accident involving Jami Ward’s hair and the menorah, we ask that you only wear non-flammable hairspray to the office.

Have a happy and safe holiday season. We’ll see you next year.

TGF Management

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