Loving Yourself Protects You
Not the kind of protection you thought of either. The protection I want you to use is the kind that will make sure you, your body, and your life can be as safe as possible. The reality is that if people were using all the forms of protection available to them, then maybe we wouldn’t be losing so many beautiful trans women to hate crimes. Protection comes in all forms, here are a couple ways to protect yourself that are really simple and can still help you keep your private life, private, but safe.
Everyone runs multiple lives at the same time. Work, personal, public — and secret. It’s the secret life that you need to make sure you have safety nets in place for the most, but there is no aspect where you can be safe enough. It doesn’t matter if you are male or female, transgender or someone who just goes about life solo, it is in your best interest to always make sure someone knows where you are at or are going. You don’t have to tell them what you are doing or who you are with if you choose not to, but the more information you give someone the better. Trans women, your risk of experiencing hate crimes is high, disproportionately higher after factoring in skin tone.
Never meet anyone at their home the first time, especially if you are going to be alone. I know you know this, I also know that we all forget the rules when it comes to the things we want. Even if you sneak out and do things without the knowledge of others, you need to leave information behind just in case. A note saying an address, a phone number, something that can help if anything does happen.
If you are going to be in a situation that is intimate, it is important that you have already taken the appropriate steps to ensure your safety. Don’t think that love is blind enough to protect you from someone who feels deceived, especially in the heat of the moment. In most situations who you are is only our business, but in this circumstance, it is important that all parties involved be aware.
This is all true for all people really. Intimacy is intimate for a reason, and if you are acting responsibly and honest than your risks for harm are much less.
Of course, always use protection, you need to use birth control until you are sterile if you don’t want unwanted babies. Unplanned pregnancy can happen to all people, even if you are well into your HRT on either side, so condoms are still very necessary for more than stopping the spread of disease. Be vigilant in your own personal care and hygiene. You are the only one in complete control of your body.
Always remember that you have the right to change your mind in all situations you may find yourself in. Remember to love yourself. Loving yourself is the start of the best form of protection you have. Self esteem and self respect can carry you a long way. You’ll find that by finding the time to love yourself, you are less likely to find yourself in situations where you will have to be so concerned about your personal safety. Surround yourself with people who accept you for you, love you for you, and want you to be you. I know that is easier said than done. But we are out there. We do believe in you and we do want you to be the best person you are meant to be.
Always love you by protecting yourself.
Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion
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Too know me is too love me or hate me, I don't think there is an in between. Opinionated, forward, tactless for sure, caring, nurturing, loving, weird, strange, unique, these are words you'd find yourself using to describe me. Determined to get people to see through eyes wide open and really love the world around them, I am a modern day hippie, an advocate for human beings, a lover of people and the simple things.Subscribe
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“But the majority have been of other ethnicity than white. I wasn’t only referencing black women.”
“…other than white…” is what I was pointing out with my statement that white, middle-class trans women are of virtually NO danger of being victims of violence.
But I would take issue that black trans women aren’t the large majority of the non-white victims. Who else would it be, if not white, if not black? Puerto Rican, Mexican, Asian, Jewish, Muslim?
Look at the so-called “explosion” of trans women being murdered, what some have ridiculously described as a “national crisis”. When you read the news reports put out last year concurrent with the Transgender Day Of Remembrance, you see that, when identified in the articles, virtually all the individual victims were black ‘sex workers’, ie prostitutes.
Street prostitution is a dangerous line of work for anybody and no doubt even more so for trans women of any color. I don’t think, though, that the ladies themselves are unaware of the dangers nor are they likely to be visitors to Angela’s extremely valuable site.
Kool, I agree that Dawn is just telling us, as adults, what we already know, but her heart is in the right place and that’s what’s important.
On the other hand, this: “Trans women, your risk of experiencing hate crimes is high, disproportionately higher after factoring in skin tone” is simplistic and deceptive.
“High” is a vague term and not justified by the available crime statistics. And trans women, in general, are at very small risk of being victims. The demographic that is at significantly higher risk (but still quite small)- although one is not supposed to say so in this PC culture – is the subgroup made up of black street prostitutes (or ‘urban sex workers’ if one’s sensitivities are triggered by factual description).
The kind of trans women who visit this site – overwhelmingly white, middle-class, and most likely part-time crossdressers, are in little danger from street violence.
Good response, LeslayAnne you are a wise one.
There are some inaccurate stereotypes by helpful people.
Acceptance is so important, and yet I see here that I need to pander to the “kind of trans women who visit this site – overwhelmingly white, middle-class, and most likely part-time crossdressers”.
I didn’t understand that majority of trans women of color were “prostitutes” or “urban sex workers” and therefore, the kind of trans women who visit this site – overwhelmingly white, middle-class, and most likely part-time crossdressers, are in little danger from street violence.” “If I may be so forward” as to use your words.
I must say, it must be nice.
In the Transgender community, it is well documented that transgender women of color are on the receiving end of much more violence than white. However, it is doesn’t state in overwhelming terms of them being in the sex trade. Which still doesn’t negate the need to spread some information.
The basic need for acceptance and human interactions put vulnerable people in vulnerable places if they don’t have a support system. So the next best thing is putting information out there for them because when people are seeking interaction they don’t necessarily think things through.
Dawn, if you’re going to use my words, don’t pervert them:
“I didn’t understand that majority of trans women of color were “prostitutes”…”
I never said any such thing.
“…So the next best thing is putting information out there for them because when people are seeking interaction they don’t necessarily think things through.”
Now that is, as Kool said, quite condescending.
“The demographic that is at significantly higher risk (but still quite small)- although one is not supposed to say so in this PC culture – is the subgroup made up of black street prostitutes (or ‘urban sex workers’ if one’s sensitivities are triggered by factual description).”
I apologize, I read this statement as such, and it is the way I interpreted your words.
I guess the short of it is, that I am putting too much emphasis on the idea of violence being perpetrated on trans women who are not white, because they group I speak of is a smaller demographic in the subset of a small demographic.
So, in the grand scheme of things, yes only a handful of trans women of all races and colors have been murdered or beaten to within inches of their life over the span of time. But the majority have been of other ethnicity than white. I wasn’t only referencing black women.
Indeed. I’d hate to have information for me when I was too scared to ask someone.
That is condescending.
This is a little too condescending for me.
The intentions may be good, but we not 14 year olds here.
Seriously, see us as more than delicate little flowers that need protecting.
Thank you so much for your feedback. It is unfortunate that you feel that I coming off as condescending in any way or that you are a sensitive 14 year old that needs to protecting. However, my experience with the people I encounter, there is a huge need for reassurance, acceptance, and validity.
I only know what I have experienced and admittedly I have younger people in my life that need to hear things because they are young and vulnerable, need guidance, and reassurance. Being a women carries inherent risks that take a lifetime to learn from. And I as a woman want other women to understand that they need to protect themselves.
Even if she is 6’5″ and 340 lbs.
I thank you for taking the time to read and comment. Feedback is the best way to learn.
Dawn