Ladyboys Getting Older

Ladyboys of Bangkok

Not a single one of us T-girls likes the idea of getting old.

Seeing that new wrinkle, or that area of sagging skin; or spotting a few wayward grey hairs when we look in the mirror.

But what’s it’s like for a Ladyboy who’s been a star performer in one of Pattaya’s best known Ladyboy cabaret shows. A lady who was able to enchant audiences with her femininity, her beauty and charm, her poise; and her singing and dancing ability — yet someone who never quite made the “ultimate transition”?

A few weeks ago I was introduced to a Ladyboy called Khun Bee who was undertaking a make-up demonstration for a well known cosmetics company for an event hosted in one of the largest shopping centres in town.

We got talking and she kindly agreed to have a chat about her, relatively glamorous, former life and then went on to explain how hard it is for Ladyboys to survive after they finish in the cabaret shows. It wasn’t an interview, per se, more of a friendly talk but, in summary, here are some of the key things she told me:

• like us all, Ladyboy performers bloom… flower… and then wilt; competition is fierce in the major shows and there always new girls coming through challenging for the top slots. A Ladyboy’s career can be as short as 5-6 years, and is almost certainly over by 26-27, unless she is absolutely exceptionally good looking

• only the top handful of girls earn really good money and most rely on tips and donations from tourists or well wishers in the obligatory photo shoots after the shows

• the scheduling can be quite demanding with, again in the most popular shows, three shows per day, plus rehearsals every day in high season, maybe with only one day off per week

• naturally, most girls use their earnings for purchasing hormones, having minor cosmetic surgeries, or saving what they can for the more major surgeries such as breast augmentation and GRS; it’s not so much the cost of these surgeries but the down times of no earnings during the recovery period which is an issue for many girls

• unfortunately many girls are not good with money and spend it quickly or unwisely or, in view of the very strong family ties which exist for most Thai people, send money back to their families in the provinces — who then sadly often seem to waste the unearned relative wealth

• the combination of the continued need for hormones and the overall lifestyle means that once the beauty starts to fade, many girls end up becoming sex workers or indulging in a life of drugs, or petty crime — equally as sadly, many of the boyfriends or lovers who were supporting them when they were young and beautiful disappear (including quite a number of foreign men who might have been supporting the Ladyboy financially until they have the “op,” or such men realize that it’s really not that practical to take a Ladyboy person back to their own  country in, say, Europe or maybe city in the US

• a high proportion of Ladyboys over, say, 30, who work in the cabarets, therefore end up alone, with little money — and with no career training owing to their years spent in the shows; sure, some do make a successful transition into business people but many, by and large, slide into despair, addictions and relative poverty

A not so glam middle aged ladyboy.

Khun Bee said a lot more than this but these are the key points. As for her, she seemed to be an exception of sorts to this as she had trained as a professional make-up artist even during her time on the stage. She’d also been relatively lucky in that she had been fairly disciplined in her overall lifestyle and had retained her good looks — and perhaps, partly due to this, her Australian boyfriend of 10 years who was still there for her (and living in Thailand).

“One day,” Khun Bee had promised me as I left, “there will be no discrimination against Ladyboys in Thailand and we’ll all be given an equal chance to work in professions apart from cabaret, as dancers or make-up artists or at wedding gown functions/shows. Then you’ll see!”

I do so hope she is right! In fact, on reflection, if this can happen in any country,  Thailand will have to be one of the first — showing others what tolerance and acceptance of all is really about…

Tags: featured, Ladyboy, Thailand

Category: Transgender Body & Soul