Ladyboy… who is?

Early last week, I was out for dinner with a two friends of mine, Khun Nui and Khun Nim, both of whom are genetic girls.

We were having a nice dinner and catch-up chat in a nearby vegetarian restaurant when Nui spotted one of her friends, Khun Dom and a companion, enter the premises.

The bottom line is that Nui’s friends joined us and we continued in very much the same vein as before — namely enjoying the food and chatting about this and that in a fairly light hearted, relaxed manner as friends do.

In the course of conversation Khun Dom told us that Khun Sa, her companion and one her closest friends, was, in fact a Ladyboy — pre-op but undertaking HRT. Unbelievably, so, as Sa looked every bit the consummate lady-about-town. In fact, stunning is probably the best word I can find to describe Sa, but that’s not the purpose of this article!

As we all relaxed further and the conversation became a bit more personal, Nim suddenly piped up with, “Of course, both you and Sa are the same — you’re both Ladyboy.”

It took a moment or two for this statement to sink in, then I realized that, technically speaking, and certainly in the eyes of Thais, I am just that: a Ladyboy! I let this sink in for a moment and let it swirl around my mind: Me… a Ladyboy — yet another label to contend with!

Maybe it was because I had suddenly gone momentarily quiet but I suddenly became aware that all of the others were looking at me; not staring but, clearly, from their facial expressions, wondering why I was quiet or, indeed, what I was about to say.

“Well… yes and no,” I finally replied with a smile. “You see, in “the West” we don’t seem to have one name or label for all T people. We break down into different categories people who believe they should be of a different gender or people who sometimes like to dress up like or be the opposite gender for a short period of time. So, actually, not every male who dresses like a woman is strictly speaking a Ladyboy as you think of such a person in Thailand!”
Four quite blank faces. Silence and one or two frowns as the four of them tried to make sure they had understood what I had just said correctly.

“But… but Ladyboys are all the same in Thailand,” stated Dom, looking at the others for affirmation. “Right?”

I probably only talked for about another ten or so minutes, but it seemed like thirty. Nui, Nim, Dom and Sa listened quite intently as I explained about some of the key issues involved with being T outside of Thailand.

As I talked about crossdressers, both hetero and gay; transvestites both single and married; TS with girlfriends, wives and children, some without, now and then one of my girl friends interrupted me with a question or two. I also mentioned drag queens, and gender queer people, and I touched upon pure fetishists…

Yet I could tell from closely watching the faces of these four girls that there was puzzlement about the labels I was using; that there was confusion as to why some T people were only part time T’s; why some T’s only dressed partially and occasionally, simply to obtain fleeting pleasure… but more so, there was great curiosity as to why so many T‘s have to hide away in closets and why so many others are fearful of their safety when out and about dressed as a female.

It was Nui who first spoke after it seemed I had finally finished: “Wow, I had no idea there were so many problems associated with being T, as you call it, outside Thailand.”

“Well I didn’t know there were so many different types of T people,” added Dom. “Nor that many Ts who change from male to female permanently, or just dress up now and then, stay with their wives. Amazing!”

As I listened to the four girls chatter amongst themselves, I could only reflect and think again on how simplistic and open Thai society can be: Ladyboys are, well… Ladyboys… no big deal… no big issue!

Just get on with it. No need to hide and be shamed, no need to worry about being attacked or scorned when out and about. No need to worry unduly what other people think of you… (I mean, where else in the world can two “Ladyboys” go out and about with three genetic girls for dinner and nobody “turns a hair”…)

Sure… absolutely, and definitely, there are prejudices and limits and glass ceilings in Thai society towards Ts but, by and large, I think I’d still rather be a “Ladyboy” in Thailand than almost anywhere else!

Tags: featured, Identity, Ladyboy, Thailand, Transgender

Category: Transgender Body & Soul