Just what do I call you? Or you call me?

I’m confused.

And if I, a T person who has been involved with all matters T for many years than I care to recall, am confused, what hope is there for the general public not to be confused?

I write for four or five newsletters, magazines and e-zines about T matters; regularly listen to the radio and/or watch videos about the trials and tribulations of us gender gifted/blessed people, as well as observe with awe the amazing progress which the T community has been making over the last 5 or so years. I also make sure, as far as I can, that I am at least aware of developments in terminology being used within the community.

I know all about, as well as respect, people’s choices to be referred to by pronouns of their choice (they, them, it); or of others who wish to be referred to as non-binary (NB’s or Enbees); or of those who have gender affirmation surgery and were previously identifying as male but are now presenting as female and yet still prefer females as their sexual partners (trans-lesbians); or people who are gender fluid, gender queer or gender non-confirming. . . and so on. . . .

Yet, from what I can see the general public is getting more and more confused about these new types of people seemingly, suddenly appearing in features in their magazines or in news items in their newspapers, or on their other than scandalous TV shows and documentaries. Of course, most of us in the T community have some idea about the new terminology in use. However, spare a thought or two for Mr. or Miss Average. They are perplexed and I can understand why.

Indeed, in some ways asking the general population is grasp the nuances of being T is akin to asking us T’s to understand terminology in use in nuclear physics or about how to write commercial code for computer programs (unless, of course, we are nuclear scientists or computer programmers!).

In short, perhaps we have gone too far with this fixation in labelling ourselves and making sure everyone around us knows that we are x-y-z or a-b-c. From one extreme, I’ve heard anecdotes from some friends who are lecturers at universities in the U.S. about students in their classes changing during a single lesson how they wish to be addressed (he, she, them) or describing their own gender outlook differently at the end of a lecture compared with the beginning. Then, to the other extreme, in my own personal case I was, recently, lightly admonished for mis-addressing a person I had only met for a fleeting 30 seconds in a meeting group of 10 others (and who, to all intents and purposes looked like a female).

Yes. . . yes, I know times are a-changing but, really, maybe it’s time to bring back a little sanity to the labelling debate? 

Otherwise, I won’t know what to call myself when I have no-one else to talk to.

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Tags: featured, Identity, opinion, Transgender

Category: Transgender Opinion