I am not a good looking man…
And I’ll be the first to admit it. For the most part, women do not flirt with me. The number of women I’ve met in say, a bar, and later dated, I can count on one hand. (Please, keep the masturbation jokes to yourself.)
My wife thinks I’m attractive, but when I look at pictures of her past boyfriends, I’m led to believe she has a thing for goofy looking guys.
What makes me unappealing? For one thing, I’m overweight. Hugely. And most of it shows up in two places: my gut and my face. I’ve got a funny shaped nose, and an oversized chin. Combined, I have a profile that’s a cross between Dick Tracy and Jay Leno.
There are some unattractive guys, who, when en femme, make very beautiful women. I’m not one of them.
But, still, I continue to dress and to go out. And I continue to take pictures of myself, and post them online.
With photos, I have an element of control. The flattering pictures are shared, and the bad ones destroyed. And with those good pictures, I can convince myself that I’m not a horrid looking man in a dress. That element of fantasy is important. Most people, especially crossdressers, want to be physically attractive. We want to be appealing, sexy, and desirable. It’s something I don’t feel when I’m in guy-mode.
That is why I think I crossdress. If I take pictures, and I’m unhappy with the results, it’s a long time before I dress up again. It may be shallow, but there you have it. I want to look good, even if I’m the only one who thinks so.
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Ronnie Rho has been writing for Transgender Forum since May of 1999. One of these days, she'll get it right. She's been described as the "world's most famous recluse," but only by people who don't know her very well. She is unmarried, and lives in Cincinnati.Subscribe
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” I want to look good, even if I’m the only one who thinks so.”
To my wife, who would love me to quit crossdressing, I often say that I probably will quit when I think I no longer look better dressed than not. That’s how I know I’m TG, not TS
holy crap, ronnie, you’re still around? 🙂
Ronnie, I’m just as big as you are and have the same issues and insecurities. What I’ve found is that at some point, it stops mattering what you look like and becomes about who you are and how you conduct yourself. Sure, beauty catches people’s attention – but what are you going to do now that they’re all looking at you? Juggle? I’ts more about personality and confidence after the first 15 minutes.
Confidence is very attractive, don’t you think?
I don’t make a good looking guy OR attractive girl in the real world, in spite of the glowing compliments I get on the carefully posed photos I post on the web.
More and more lately, my crossdressing for ‘outside mode’ has been a metrosexual kind of compromise between what I’d like to look like and what doesn’t induce the villagers to take up pitchforks and torches. Makeup is a light foundation, mascara, eye liner, and a bit of natural colored lipstick. I’ve been giving the same attention to my clothing and jewelry that I would if I were going out en femme.
The more I’ve done this, the more comfortable and happy I am with it. And, over the last 6 months in this metro mode, I’ve noticed that males give me scowling double-takes in direct proportion to the size of the earring and necklace I’m wearing.
Females have the opposite reaction and more of them are friendly and flirty. That’s fun, but I don’t really think its because I’m more attractive; they probably assume I’m gay so it’s safe to be friendly.
Other people’s reactions are entertaining to watch, but I do it for myself and it took me a while to accept and even more, be pleased with, less than 100% full metal girl jacket from wig to toenails. Try it, you’ll like it. 🙂
Preach Sister…….
I hear you. I think that has been the biggest problem I’ve had with my recent weight gain. I was NEVER a looker as a guy but could still look “good” as Jen at 210. Now, that I’m more and Jen has suffered. It has really hit me hard in guy and girl mode.
It’s funny how facial features look so much different with a little (OR A LOT) of make-up and not much else.
I writing a blog in my mind about a similar topic……
I am a pre-op Transsexual, and this all applies to me as well, only permanently. As a guy, my face never made any sense but everyone thought that I had these really nice features. I thought that I looked like an alien and certainly not an effective man. I did not believe what the answer was….Just a wig and makeup and here suddenly was this girl who looked like a Prada model. Suddenly, off came over 20 years of my age like a rebirth. I am glad to see anyone who has found herself, whether for permanent transition or satisfying cross dressing. There is something missing in so many of us. And by the way Ronnie, I think that you’re face is adorable! Love and best always, SASHA
HI Ronnie
I think most guys are unattractive certainly myself although as your wife and mine said we are not unattractive in guy mode. I do believe I am better looking, atleast to me in a dress and there have been some pretty terrible pictures of me in a dress. I agree with you when I see the bad ones it inhibits my dressing but the good ones get me out there. And I try to keep it in perspective. One cross dressing friend said that he was dressing because she felt she looked better in dresses and she just wanted to be “pretty” I though that was a pretty good reason to dress. It made him feel better about her self.
Me I just want to have fun with it, without it being a compulsion or interupting my regular life. As a result I only get out a few times a year but they are fun times..Sallee
PS I always enjoy your blog