Halloween Tricks 2021

It’s that most wonderful time of year!  That’s right: Halloween!  It’s the spooky season–time for ghosts, spirits, witches, werewolves, oh you get the idea.  So am I going to succumb to the cliché and write about the holiday?  Damn right!

I’ve written ad infinitum about how I “rediscovered myself” at Halloween 2008.  Halloween, as JoAnn Roberts said our “Holy Day of Obligation.”  So, having discussed costumes, masks, history, and everything else Halloween in the past, what HAVEN’T I written about?  Well, I don’t think I wrote about.  . . what NOT to do on Halloween. 

I mean, feel free to do as you like–I’m not here to tell you what you can or can’t do.  I’m just thinking about safety: yours.  I’m aware that so many of my few readers are closeted from the world due to whatever reasons.  So, how to dress in public without arousing suspicion?  Seriously, if you’re looking for the one time a year that you can go out as your True self without judgement–this is it.  The terrifying paralysis of taking those first huge steps out the door eases during Halloween.  Is it because people who go out expect costumes or because people who are out are quite intoxicated, or perhaps the spirits of all of our Sisters who’ve passed beyond the Veil return to lend you their courage and strength? 

You choose.

However, here’s some cautions.  First, know your audience.  Are you going dressed as Little Bo Peep to a biker bar?  Not a great idea.  Are you going to a place you frequent?  Better idea–go where friends have your back.  After all, even on Halloween, there are a**holes who believe ANY violation of masculinity is a personal affront.  Don’t want to go where you’re known?  Okay, choose wisely: both the place and your shoes.  Yes, shoes.  How far or fast can you run in five inch heels?  Unless you’re a professional drag queen, probably not well.  So well, heels you can work with… or slip out of easily.  For that matter, I know you practice walking in heels: so do I.  However, someone just dressing for Halloween wouldn’t have done so–so for one night, pretend that you DON’T know how to do your sexy sashay.

It’s not just heels–Heidi Phox has two videos about going to her usual haunt while dressed–and she looks incredible.  Her appearance is absolutely polished and perfect.  Want to attract suspicion?  Then do your absolute best to be as gorgeous as possible.  Sure, you can do that but better have a story ready about who did your makeup and where you got the breast forms.  My excuse in 2009 was that I borrowed them from a drag queen.  Almost everyone bought that explanation, but no one voiced their suspicions (until I came out that is.) 

It helps if the aforementioned “drag queen” is with you.  That’s right: company.  Are you THAT confident in your mad skillz that you can go alone?  Seriously–don’t.  Go with friends.  Other CDs in your area?  Go as a group.  Even if it’s one other T-Girl, bring her along and you can be each other’s alibi.  Besides, going out is ALWAYS more fun with friends.  A good idea is that one person doesn’t drink at all, as guess who is out there waiting for you.  That’s right–every cop on the payroll.  There will be checkpoints and cars and all that, and rightfully so, as they’re trying to save lives.  So you you’re stopped at a checkpoint–are you ready to show your ID, especially if you’re not out?  Have a driver who is, and make sure they’re sober.  After all, enough of our sisters die from violence and suicide that we don’t need to add to the total with accidents.

I present these tips as someone who made the mistakes before coming out.  Yes, I re-discovered myself in 2008, but went out again as “Monique” on Halloween 2009 with corset, fake boobs, professional makeup and wig… and raised some eyebrows.  In 2010, I didn’t dress feminine to my friend’s annual party–I dressed as “God’s Gift to Women.”  The idea was to allay suspicions.  I dressed in a wonderfully feminine costume for the Henri David Ball the following night, though.  So don’t dress EVERY year, as that’s the easiest way to out yourself; unless you’re attending parties with different crowds on different nights. 

Halloween should be fun.  It’s the night to shed your reality for fantasy, or in our case, Truth.  So, enjoy yourself, stay safe, and “Don’t dream it: be it.” 

Happy Halloween to all, and blessed Samhain to my friends of the Goddess. 

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