Getting “Leads” in the Dating World

In the spring semester of my junior year of college, I worked in sales. I was a sales lead generator, to be specific. My job duties consisted of walking around a major hardware retail store and approaching customers to take a short survey. I asked them six questions and after the last one, I said: “so that I can get credit for the survey, I would like you to fill out the information below.” This “information below” consisted of their name, city of residence, phone, and signature that indicates that it is okay for a call center to contact them to verify they took the survey with me. In the four months of working that ridiculously simple minimum-wage-plus-commissions job, I learned a ton about social skills, emotional intelligence, and the process of lead generation. I quit the job to take a hard-to-get internship at a big, successful construction management company. Before beginning my first week at the new job, I had a week of free time, during which I thought a lot about what I learned from my old job. Surprisingly, what I had done there and what I had learned can be applied towards online dating and dating in general. In this article, my goal is to help you get acquainted with some useful strategies that can help you succeed in a shark tank that is the dating world. I will break down each step of the lead generation process from my old job and apply it to the dating world.

In the first step, you approach a customer, introduce yourself and say you are with so-and-so department of the hardware retail company. You ask the customer ask how you can help him or her and what they have in mind at the moment. In a similar fashion, you can approach someone you see on the street or in an online profile and say “Hi! My name is… I couldn’t help but notice…” to start building a rapport with your person of interest. Let’s face it: the “Hi, how are you?” is way too old. Build a rapport because that’s how interesting connections get discovered.

Once I had my customer’s attention the first time, I went on to say: “I am with… and today, we are conducting a brief six-question survey on…” Don’t ask, but tell. Remember: you approached them, so you are doing yourself a favor, not the other way around. When I had their attention a second time, I locked in and asked: “Do you consume…” The goal is to find their interest in what you are about to say next. You are not selling anything, but rather just finding out things about the person you are talking to. In this case, it’s the customer, but for you it would be the person you think you like.

Next I asked: “Do you ever notice [bad/good qualities] in [commodity/product]?” This boiler plate question can be modified in so many ways and it will still help you build rapport with the person of interest.

After I captured their interest with that question, I moved on to ask: “Are you a homeowner?” That question was critical — take a note, critical — to the success of the survey. Because my company only sought to deal with real homeowners since they are the decision makers in their own household; I could either stop the survey and say “thank you for your time, have a nice day” and walk away, or continue. For you, my dear love birds, the question will be “are you single?” Why waste time talking to someone who does not match you because of their relationship status? If you stop the survey and move on, you can spend that precious time looking for or perhaps talking to more people who do actually match your desired demographic. For me, it would have been homeowners, and for you, it would be singles.

If I continued the survey after the “make it or break it” question, I would ask 3 more standard questions just to get additional details about the customer to help the guys above me with the future sales process. After the three questions, I would hand them my notepad and ask them to fill out their contact into. In a similar fashion, your goal after finding out that the other person is single, is to find just enough information in several questions that would help you determine if they are truly have potential to be your date. Once that’s done, get their name and phone number. Then, wait a couple days and follow up if they don’t contact you first. That’s what the call center did — they made contact within 48 to 72 hours. Then, reintroduce yourself and recall details from your first encounter to refresh their memory just as the call center would ask the customer about their responses to the survey I conducted.

The next step is the date. The call center asked the customer if a sales rep could come over and test a household utility system. In exchange for the co-operation, the customer qualifies for a $20 gift card to the retail chain where they took the survey. Most customers agreed to that condition. In a similar fashion, you will have to ask when the other person is available and if they would like to go on a date. Pick a place, time, and activity of interest to start a decision process. Once both of you reach an agreement, follow through. After testing the utility system, the sales rep pitched a sale. In my area, the sales reps were so good that they had a 50% chance of making or not making a sale. Most businesses consider 23% of an average success rate. Consequently, it is up to you to make a great first impression on the first date to get a second, third, fourth, fifth, and so on dates before making your own sale — starting a relationship.

In conclusion, I would like to offer some words of wisdom — stay away from toxic people, unresponsive people, and keep an eye out for body language and external attention signs when you first approach a potential date. If you need to take a break after tripping up on several people, take it. Relax, breathe, and move on to find new opportunities. Happy hunting!

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