Finding Your Voice

One of my English teachers encouraged us by saying, “You’ve got to find your voice.” As a writer I’m still working on that, and as a part-time T-gurl, I will probably never find it. It’s hard to find your voice in lots of ways. How many times have you heard about someone who’s as pretty as a picture until she opens her mouth and ruins the illusion? And the other morning I had one of those dreams where you’re petrified, scared out of your wits and can’t scream. Well, I finally did find my voice and yelled in a most decidedly female fashion, which woke me up and had me wondering, “where did that voice come from?”

I’ve read about how Dustin Hoffman worked on his Tootsie character by affecting a southern accent as a way to achieve a more feminine voice. That works for me, at least for one line out of Cat on a Hot Tin Roof when Big Mama states emotionally, “Big Daddy just ate enough to stuff a field hand; Big Daddy’s never gonna die; Big Daddy’s gonna live forever!” I can mimic that one line perfectly, but then that voice somehow leaves me.

Having just seen the movie Julie and Julia, I imagine Merle Streep watching old episodes of The French Chef with Julia Child whipping up egg whites and extolling the virtues of butter. When I first heard she was going to play Julia I was doubtful she could pull it off; but she did, and the voice is one of the main things that makes her so believable. My mother told me that as a small child I used to sit glued to the television whenever that show would come on. Julia’s voice was part of her charm, even if it is somewhat reminiscent of those English housewives portrayed by actors in Monty Python.

Everyone has an ability to mimic to some degree, but, like any endeavor, it does take dedication and practice to develop. For me, developing a female voice is a kind of final frontier, something I’ll probably never be able to achieve. I’ve never seriously tried to practice (for fear someone would hear me!) This summer I was at a Karaoke bar and there was a T-gurl giving it her best shot. I was truly inspired. But I have yet to put on some Janis Joplin tunes, crank up the volume and practice my caterwallering.

Category: Transgender Body & Soul