Feminine Feelings?

by Stephanie K.

It was a warm but pleasant Friday afternoon and my friend Sharon and I had just left the wig shop in north Minneapolis. I had just spent the last hour trying on several new wigs. I was looking for something different. I had been wearing my dark auburn shag for just over a year now and, though it was still flattering, I was feeling the need for a change.

Well, Patty had brought out a couple of gray wigs for me to consider. Sharon had been experimenting with a gray wig for several months now and she looked great (she says that if you really want to NOT be noticed, just go out looking like a pretty grandmother!). I tried them on but they just weren’t the right shade, too much like a blond turning white, too light for my dusky rose complexion. I was starting to feel down when Patty walked in with what she said was a brand new style. It was a subdued, almost gun-metal gray, blond. I popped it on and stared at myself in the mirror. Hmmmm, very pretty! A shorter, more sculpted look than my old shag. As I looked at myself more, from several different angles, using the hand mirror to see the back, I started to get excited. Yes, this looks very nice. Yes, this really works! Sharon agreed and the sale was made. I’ll wear it. I couldn’t stop looking at myself in the several mirrors scattered around the shop. I looked great. Throw the auburn shag in a bag and let’s go!

That’s when I became aware of some very interesting sensations in my body.

I was dressed casual pretty in my black sleeveless T and fuschia broomstick skirt with sandals (I had painted my toenails for the first time, soft cabernet), light daytime make-up, and my beautiful new hair. We were on our way to the mall to have my ears pierced (another first) and I was in heaven. I noticed that I was having these wonderfully tingly sensations in my genital area, which streamed up my belly and warmed my entire body. They felt delicious. Sexual feelings? Well, I realized that I did not have an erection. Hmmmm, this is interesting. I was having sexual feelings without an erection. All of my male life I had ONLY associated sexual feelings with an erection. This is really different. Then it hit me! I must be having feminine sexual feelings. Or something very similar. Is this the way women feel when they get a new hairdo? Feel pretty? Out with a girlfriend, anticipating another fun feminine experience like getting their ears pierced? I was really feeling feminine, that wonderfully satisfying expression of my essence that I have come to love so much. What fun! My dear wife, Suzanne, had always said that I was too erection/orgasm-focused when playing sexually with her. I never could understand how it could be any other way. Well, now I knew. What a luscious insight! I know I am going to have fun exploring these feelings in the future.

So on to the mall for something I had been dreaming of for many years, having my ears pierced. I was really going to do it. I was going to actually alter my body to look and feel more feminine. I had finally overcome my fear of what people might say about Steve with sparkly studs in both ears. I’ll just be a rebel at 51, better late than never.

Suzanne had expressed her fear but decided that she could live with me (I had promised to only get smallish studs). I was flying so high in my feminine good feelings that I just marched right into Claire’s at Ridgedale Mall and walked right up to the counter and told the salesgirl that I wanted my ears pierced. Kayla sounded delighted as she ushered me to the big chair near the entrance of the store and asked if I wanted my cartilage or lobes pierced, or BOTH? I told her just one set of earlobe holes today, please.

We got all the papers signed and I watched as she prepped her hands and instruments. I asked her to show and tell me everything she was doing because I was a nurse. She schmoozed that her mom was a nurse too as she showed me the choices of studs. I chose some pretty ones (oh, alright, they weren’t the absolute smallest ones!) and she pinned my hair back above each ear and did quite a good job of distracting me as she fired the studs through my earlobes. It stung just a bit, but I just took a couple deep breaths and let the full feeling of what was being done to me seep through my whole being. It was quite marvelous. After she was done she made me promise to come back again and let her put in another set or two sometime. After all, she had 10 in each of her own ears! She was so sweet. But I told here that one set would be quite enough for now. I didn’t want to look too different, you know!

And now I WAS in heaven, as throughout the rest of the afternoon and evening I looked at myself every chance I got, delighting in my whole new look. I cherished the feminine feelings I experienced that day. And always will!

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Tags: crossdressing, featured, opinion

Category: Transgender Body & Soul