Experiment

Believe it or not, I don’t go out to parties every weekend. Sometimes, I stay home. And generally, when I stay home, I don’t dress up. It’s a lot of work to get pretty, and my thought is: if I’m going to go through all that effort, I want to show it off. If a crossdresser is alone in the woods, is she still fabulous?

But, with that in mind, I’m slowly realizing that it’s not only okay to dress around the house, but it can be a good thing.

Mind you, I’m very big on going out. It’s reaffirming to be out and about. It’s liberating, if you will, to be free of the bonds of closetedness. Cyber-conversations are okay, but a face-to-face conversation is much more interesting. And then there’s the opportunity to make new friends, and to show the world that we’re not all skulking weirdos.

That aside, sometimes it’s not practical to go out. Work schedules interrupt. Friends can’t always make it. And sometimes, I’m just too broke to pay for a bar tab.

But, it doesn’t hurt to get dressed up at home either. For one thing, practice makes perfect, right? Last week, for instance, my most recent paycheck had been eaten up by bills, and since it had been a grueling week at work, I didn’t have the energy to go out.

But scooting around YouTube, I found several videos on drag makeup. They lit the fires of inspiration: I could stay home and try some new looks!

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It never hurts to try something new, just to see if it will work or not. I experimented with a couple of styles. Nothing too radical, mind you. One doesn’t want to overdo it. Firstly, I did my eyes with false eyelashes, but no eye shadow, and no eyeliner whatsoever. I was pleasantly surprised with the result.Granted, there are drawbacks. Without that color on the eyes, other shortcomings of my face are a little more apparent. (Like the bags beneath my eyes.)
Then, going the other direction, I tried some of the eyeshadow techniques in the videos on YouTube. And I went heavy on the liquid eyeliner. Now, the dark eye look appeals to me, but since I’ve got a low brow line, much of the detail work on the eye lid is lost. So, I can spend all the time I want on blending color, but I’m likely the only one who’ll notice.But, still, it was fun. And I learned something else too. I got these pictures with my video camera, (I lost the still camera in the divorce.). I realized that I need to be more aware of my walk when I’m out and about. Perhaps I do okay in public, but when I’m home alone, I walk like a linebacker. This I learned because I’d turn the camera on, and then walk away to get into position.Maybe it’s because I’m walking on plush carpet, or maybe it’s because I’m not trying to walk like a lady. Either way, I now know a feminine gait doesn’t come naturally.And I learned another thing: I experimented with outfits too. But no matter how hard I try, no matter what I wear, I just don’t have the figure, or the poise to pull off the look of a Vargas girl.

Category: Transgender Fun & Entertainment, Transgender Opinion