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Dina’s Diner 12/22/14

| Dec 22, 2014
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Much has been written and pontificated on in regard to the recent release by the Senate of documents related to torture or “enhanced interrogation techniques” by the CIA. Surveys conducted after the release indicated that many Americans don’t have strong feelings against torture — especially as a weapon in the war on terror.

Torture, or just Saturday night?

Torture, or just Saturday night?

The Washington Post reported that 59% of Americans felt torture was justified, 31% felt it was not, and 9% wasn’t sure. Just to confuse things a bit more, a majority of those surveyed felt the CIA misled the American people, the President, and Congress about the extent of torture. Most people also considered “waterboarding” to be torture — but a majority thought it could be justified to get information from terrorists.

All this talk of torture — the infliction of pain and discomfort, routinely stripping the prisoners naked, rectal penetrations, the use of hoods and bondage, made me wonder how practitioners of recreational BDSM might feel about the report findings. Of course, there were no public reports of reactions from the BDSM community on this very “real” bondage and discipline. The term “torture” is used by some BDSM lifestylers in their fantasy scenes. So it would have been interesting to read what they thought about the CIA’s “scening.”

The statistics about the percentage of the population that practices BDSM is confusing — to say the least. No less a source than the Smithsonian magazine (yeah, the Smithsonian) published an article in February 2014 titled “Americans Are More Into BDSM Than The Rest of the World.” It was probably in response to the pop culture craze of the Fifty Shades of Grey book series that put bondage and dom/sub lifestyles in the spotlight. I bring this whole topic up because many crossdressers practice or fantasize about bondage and discipline sessions while en femme.

The Smithsonian called upon a couple of older surveys to make the case that some form of BDSM practice is fairly common and that America is kinkier than most other countries. A 2005 study found that “36 percent of adults in the United States use masks, blindfolds and bondage tools during sex. Worldwide that number is only 20 percent.” A 1999 study said that “65 percent of university students dream about being tied up.” Further, a 2008 research project by Pamela Connolly Ph.D. found that a sample of active BDSM practitioners had the same psychological profiles as the general populace. Meaning that they were as “normal” as anyone else whatever their proclivities may be.

That having been said, I suppose that BDSM lifestylers would probably be divided in their views on “real” torture about the same as everyone else. They’re just like the rest of us.


Apropos for prom?

Apropos for prom?

I saw an interesting clickbait Internet list article recently. It was a collection of about a dozen “inappropriate prom photos.” I forget the exact site address. The photos included awkward poses, strange accessory props, and bizarre and dated hairstyles. In fact in one coupling, had it not been for the dress vs. the tux, it looked like a picture of two pretty young girls because the young man’s hair was so long and pouffed up in mid-’70s style.

But as you can see by the illustrative photo here, one snapshot captured my attention. And no, it wasn’t her lovely drop earrings that fascinated me. Sometimes — not often, but sometimes — I think I am an enlightened modern man. And then I see a photo like this and realize that I am a dawg — and a dawg I shall remain.

High School prom girls have been photographed in dresses made from duct tape, chewing gum wrappers, with midriff-baring cutouts, and in dresses that are more revealing than the one shown here. One unfortunate plus-size promster was forced to cover her cleavage with a shawl because her strapless gown (really quite classy) wasn’t able to handle the workload. And then there are the young men. Another embarrassing prom category of its own.

This lovely photo has been copied onto a bunch of websites now. If you search for “inappropriate prom dress” or “busty prom dress” you will find it and many other bizarre prom creations. As one captioner wrote under the young beauty here “You wonder how her parents let her out in that dress.”

Indeed. But bless their oblivious hearts.


Gosh honey, let's just stay home tonight.

Gosh honey, let’s just stay home tonight.

The Dear Abby column is still going strong, written now by the original Abby’s daughter, Jeanne Phillips. In the syndicated column’s December 10, 2014 entry, Abby responded to a letter from a 50 year old wife.

It turns out that her co-workers gave her a gag gift to celebrate her 50th birthday. The gift in question was a black leather mini-skirt and matching vest. A short while later, the wife planned to wear it for a Halloween party she was attending with her husband of many years. The plan went awry (in a good way) when “he couldn’t keep his eyes or his hands off me” she wrote to Abby. She went on further, “We never made it to the party and had the best sex we’d had in years.” She wanted to let Abby’s readers know that it helps to spice up longstanding marriages because before the appearance of the leather skirt, they had not been physical for a very long time. Abby concurred with the wifely letter-writer.

The power of clothing to stimulate the brain’s sex trigger is perhaps stronger for some than for others. But it seems fairly universal except by degrees. And then there are us crossdressers. Although not all crossdressers are motivated by sexual urges, it too seems fairly universal, again differing only by degrees. When I first began crossdressing as a regular thing, if I saw a woman wearing something sexy, it always triggered the desire to get dressed myself. The big question has always been why clothing works like that for some people.

So while many of us might think “duh?” to the question does dressing up spice up a sexy rendezvous, the couple in Abby’s column seems to have discovered or re-discovered it unexpectedly.


In the course of the past week, I came across a few strange stories with a crossdressing angle. As I write this, I’m not sure there is a theme to be found here. But there is never a shortage of oddballs who (unfortunately for us — the normal crossdressers, ha!) use crossdressing as their weapon of choice in the war on sanity.

The first short item was about the owner of a seafood store in France (quaintly called a fishmonger in the original reports on December 19, 2014) who was arrested for indecent exposure in his shop. The website reported: “The fishmonger was decked out in a wig and bustier complete with false breasts — and fishnet stockings. But a codpiece was what he needed. “He was showing his privates, the source said.” It was also determined that he was drunk — 3 times above the legal limit in France. The poor guy said business pressures and stress had pushed him over the edge. Why he chose that particular way to relieve stress was never asked nor answered.

Kin Kardashian, is that you?

Kin Kardashian, is that you?

On December 15, 2014, I saw an article on about a young mother who had been arrested for forcing her 10 year old son to crossdress as a punishment. The mother is “facing child cruelty charges after forcing her 10-year-old son to dress up like a girl and then posting pictures of the humiliation on Facebook. Authorities learned about the incident after relatives of [mother] Christle Prado saw the photos online and noticed the young boy was visibly upset while dressed in drag.” The mother’s boyfriend (who is also her landlord) was charged too because he suggested the strange punishment in the first place.

One wonders why a man — who could dream up any punishment under the sun — would hit on the idea of dressing a small boy as a girl. Hmmmmm.

London’s Daily Mail (as well as many tabloid sources) picked up a story about a Manchester, England man who wants to look like Kim Kardashian. The story appeared on December 17, 2014. People magazine’s website reported the next day: “I love everything about Kim [Kardashian]”, 23-year-old British man Jordan James Parke told The Sun. “She’s the most gorgeous woman ever. Her skin is perfect, her hair, everything about her.” That’s not too far afield a statement. After all, Kardashian does have legions of fans. But Parke is a special breed of fan: He’s spent over $150,000 on plastic surgery to look like the celeb.”

If this story is for real (and I have my doubts), Mr. Parke has been seriously ripped-off. Other than over-botoxed lips, all he seems to have done is to pencil on dark eyebrows (which resemble Groucho Marx as much as Ms. Kardashian). $150,000 is a lot of clams, sweetheart. If that’s all you got for that kind of dough, you oughta be talking to a lawyer – not People magazine.

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Category: Transgender Fun & Entertainment, Transgender Opinion


About the Author ()

I started crossdressing and going out publicly in 1988. I joined the Renaissance group in the Philadelphia area that year and later became chapter leader for two years in the '90s. I always enjoyed writing and wrote for the Renaissance newsletter and magazine throughout my membership years. I've been writing for TGForum for several years now. I also contributed items to LadyLike magazine and other TG publications before the advent of the internet. My hobby-within-a-hobby is singing live as my alter-ego Dina Sinatra and I have had the opportunity to do that with several accommodating performers and in a number of venues over the years since the mid-1990s. In the Diner column items here, I try to relate crossdressing or transgender themes (and my own pet peeves and fetishes) to the larger world -- and vice versa.

Comments (3)

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  1. Graham Graham says:

    Thanks for clarifying this, Dina – it certainly didn’t come across the way you describe. My reading of parts of the text appeared to highlight the similarities rather than the differences, with a subtext of “yeah, maybe some of us BDSMers might wanna try that”. I feel that this belittled the horror of torture … and the title didn’t help much either. I doubt we’ll ever know the full story of what goes on in these camps, but keeping victims tied up in uncomfortable positions for hours at a time is one technique that’s known to be used … and that image doesn’t look particularly comfortable! Ergo, the association.

    This isn’t a forum to discuss the merits or otherwise of torture, and I shan’t do so further. This could well be a case of meanings being distorted or lost in translation, so to speak; do writing styles, expectations, and implications vary that much across The Pond? Perhaps they do. The phrase “divided by a common language” comes to mind …

    Thanks again.

  2. dina dina says:

    I wasn’t equating the real torture with recreational BDSM games. I thought that was pretty obvious – but maybe not as obvious as I hoped. In fact, I am opposed to the US’ use of torture on prisoners and believes it diminishes us as a nation.
    I was pointing out that surveys of American attitudes about torture are muddled, with a majority (depending on how the questions are asked) seeming to approve of it. I don’t, though. And I was simply wondering how the BDSM community might feel about it but since there aren’t any surveys on that specifically, presumably they may have the same attitudes as the general population.
    The item title and the photo caption “torture or Saturday night” was meant to illustrate the difference between recreational BDSM and the real thing.
    I hope others didn’t read it the same way you did but I don’t think it needs an apology since I certainly didn’t write it as condoning real torture.

  3. Graham Graham says:

    “A little torture never hurt anyone.” “Torture, or just Saturday night?”

    What the hell are you thinking, Dina? Equating what goes on behind closed doors in Abu Ghraib, Guantanamo Bay, et al with BDSM roleplay is insensitive at best, crass, and ought to be incredibly offensive to anyone with a conscience. I’m enraged that you could even think this appalling stuff, never mind write it.

    The torture of human beings in jails and camps around the world isn’t just about putting on a hood, some padded handcuffs, and a bit of leather. It’s about force-feeding, electric shocks, burning, simulated drowning, sensory deprivation, sleep deprivation, pulling teeth and fingernails, and so on. And unlike your BDSM fantasy, there’s no “safe-word” that the victim can say if they want to end it – it goes on, day after day after day, with no end in sight.

    Have a read of these documents: and,8542,1211872,00.html; if you have any sense of decency at all, you’ll be as disgusted as I am – you might even feel humbled enough to issue an apology for writing this trash. But if you still think that a bit of torture might be fun – something to do to pass the time on a Saturday evening, perhaps – then why don’t you give it a try? Then you can report back and tell us all how sexually arousing it was to have your fingernails forcibly pulled out of their sockets, or to have cigarette butts extinguished on your face.

    Seriously, get a damned grip!

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