Breaking the Rules

For those that read my columns, you’ll know that I advocate some rules and guidelines to help us look our best as we don’t go through the fashion experimentation stage that most young girls do. Many of us come to dressing late in life and our fashion sense is, well, lacking to be frank.

I’ve talked about our habits in being a mannequin shopper   followed by often frequent visits to Victoria Secret or Frederick’s of Hollywood for that super sexy look. Unfortunately none of this really works if you want to be just another woman on the street. But woman-watching may still not provide you with the best image as many of them lack any style sense either. So we pull out an issue of Vogue, or Elle or Lucky and see what the fashion mags have to show us. Well good luck there if you are size 12 or larger, generally considered plus-size, with those skinny models and clothes that only my friend, Vikki LaFontaine at 108 lbs, could wear.

Marcy Guevera is a plus size style and fashion blogger that I follow regularly and a recent column of hers spoke to me as I searched for that perfect look. Her experimentation in fashion follows much of what I hear in our community.

Marcy says, “As a big girl, it can be easy to get stuck in ruts, wearing unshapely clothes or settling for what the mainstream stores deem appropriate for plus-size women.” Even the fabulous Diane Von Furstenberg (read my article in Repartee on wrap skirts) recently suggested tunics as the best option for a plus-size reader. If covering as much of your body as possible is the best advice this style icon can give, I fear that Tim Gunn is correct in calling the current state of plus-size fashion “repugnant.”

Marcy’s 3 stages: 1-Tunic from SWAK, 2-Fredericks of Hollywood, 3-Glam look from Aidan Mattox

Repugnant or not, in my opinion it’s all in the situation. Perspective is everything. Ladies, the way you want to dress is up to you. You can be fearless with your fashion or not. You don’t need to be a mannequin shopper. There’s a fabulous, lively, thriving industry that is the plus-size fashion world. A world full of amazing products, inspiring indie designers and women who didn’t give a damn about the fashion rules and break every single one.

They are there to help you find your personal style. Being there to help transgender and crossdressing women find their way in this area has been my goal at Sister House. I believe that self-esteem can start from the outside in and that when I help someone find that path to a perfect outfit, I’m not choosing garments, I am giving them confidence and helping them shape others’ perceptions of them; I am assisting them in feeling fabulous.

Here are some tips from Marcy that were addressed to non-trans women but with a little adaption can apply to us too.

She said, “Dress for Now” meaning dress for the body you have now. Well Okay. But a little padding and shapewear always helps if you want an hourglass shape. But if not, continue reading.

“Take Inventory” or avoid what I call “schizophrenic shopping.” A piece here, a blouse there, 20 here, 30 there and soon you have all sorts of things that don’t coordinate, no money left to spend and a closet that is working against you instead of for you.

Note what you own and what you need. There are key staples every woman should have in her closet: a great blazer, the perfect white shirt, jeans that hug every curve, a lovely LBD. Take inventory of your closet and start saving and investing in pieces you need. Learn to combine these staples together in different combinations using jewelry, scarves, handbags and shoes.

“Shop Fearlessly” I’m afraid you do this already but dare to experiment with new cuts, prints or fabrics. Ease into color with scarves or even a bright lipstick, try accessories like belts or wedges that you might have never considered. See how much there is out there and be willing to try anything (at least once). Actually if you follow our Sister House Pinterest pages, you’ll have many new ideas. Some of the stuff is kooky, but look at our street and spring fashions.

Marcy goes on to say to not be “afraid to show some skin” or “show your curves.” Well, heck, when did crossdressers ever have a problem here. The trick of course is to show enough skin to be alluring, but not showy and to be sure your clothes fit well but are not skin tight. This is what is considered sexy by others. It’s like the difference between a “one night stand” gal and one that you can take home to Mom.

Marcy’s last piece of advice is “Get Glam.” No problem here either. Marcy has never experienced the crossdressing community when she says that “you can never be overdressed.” She needs to preach this to the real girls community, not us. I don’t think anyone quite personifies this philosophy as my friend Vikki LaFontaine, and if you live in the NJ/NY area, you probably know her. Glamour makes me feel put together, ready for anything and ready to run into anyone! Even casual clothes can be glammed up, so look for classic pieces to add to your closet that can be dressed up or down.

Well here are few me tips from me. You like those bodycon dresses that show off your shape … every piece of flab that you have? For heavens sake, wear some shapewear which you can find here.

Wear something that fits you well — showing off your curves without clinging to them uncomfortably — then you’ll look fabulous. You’ll look like you’re exactly the size that you are — which is perfect.

Tags: crossdressing, fashion, featured, opinion, plus size, shopping, style, wardrobe

Category: Style, Transgender Fashion, Transgender Opinion