“Crossdressers are Transsexuals without Balls.”
So goes the hypothesis anyway. I’ve heard it from a few people that crossdressers are simply transsexuals without the guts to transition. Unfortunately, those espousing this idea never seem to have any evidence to back it up. Let’s face it: there’s not nearly enough scientific research on any of us.
However, in the interest of furthering public discussion, and creating controversy, I’ll offer these observations to back up the idea that crossdressers are really transsexuals.
The archetype we have of TSs is that they knew they were transsexual from a very early age. Many stories have that common thread of growing up knowing they “were in the wrong body”.
But, I happen to know even more transsexuals who originally classified themselves as transvestites or crossdressers, and didn’t persue the TS path until later in life. They don’t start on hormones until their 30s or 40s or beyond.
Why wait? It’s not that they are waiting, it’s that they slowly realize their gender issues are about more than dressing up a few times a month. And it’s that once they are in the transgendered community, and have access to resources, they learn there are options for them.
Point 2: Where are all the young crossdressers? Society is more permissive today than 20 years ago. Maybe not as much as we’d like, but it is better. And with the Internet, transgendered people of all stripes have access to information and interaction that was nigh impossible 20 years ago as well.
And I’ve raised this point before: with this wealth of information at their fingertips, one would think there would be a bigger presence of teenage, and 20-something crossdressers online than there is.
In fact, I’m hard-pressed to find any crossdressers or even transsexuals under the age of 27. So, where are they? Assuming the percentage of transgendered individuals remains constant no matter what age group, there ought to be as many TG profiles at say, Yahoo, for 50-somethings as people in their 20s. But there aren’t.
Occam’s Razor: the simplest explanation is often the best.
I would offer that youthful transgenders, with this wealth of information, are skipping identifying themselves as crossdressers, skipping classifying themselves as transsexual, and going straight into living full-time in the gender of their choice.
In short, they’re transitioning, and going stealth at the same time, because they can.
Older transsexuals probably have years of baggage to deal with. They may have self-loathing issues. They likely grew up learning that boys are boys and girls are girls, and it’s impossible/sinful/silly to want to change that. But, younger TGs are getting the truth at an earlier age. They have parents who are better informed, and more likely to provide support.
Articles highlighted in our TG news digest feature, TWIT Notes, support the idea that younger transgenders are going the TS route, instead of identifying as crossdressers. So many colleges and universities are grappling with transgender issues: bathrooms, dormitories, and health care; all issues that primarily affect transsexuals more than crossdressers.
So, I’ve provided evidence that crossdressers are transsexuals who haven’t ‘hatched’ yet. Do I honestly believe it? Not on your life. And I’ll say why next time.
Category: All TGForum Posts, Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
Ronnie Rho has been writing for Transgender Forum since May of 1999. One of these days, she'll get it right. She's been described as the "world's most famous recluse," but only by people who don't know her very well. She is unmarried, and lives in Cincinnati.Subscribe
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Just when I have ME all figured out someone has to blog or comment and ruin it. I think a lot of our confusion has to do with identity, language and the need to categorize others in support of our own personal situation. Me, I’m proudly in the middle. I don’t need to transition, but I’m not a crossdresser out to satisfy some transient pyscho-sexual desire, either. There’s whole spectrum of what Magnus Hirschfeld called “intersexed” (or more literally persons of “sexual intermediate stages”) individuals. And that the young don’t know where to label themselves is understandable. It’s taken me 47 years to know that I’m ambigendered–and I had to create that category for myself!
But back to my point, there is a “no man’s land” in the middle between male/masculine and female/feminine that needs more understanding and exploration. And if you’re an inhabitant, be proud of where you live and who you are. Just realize that the rest of the world will be confused by that.
HI Ronnie,
I’m new to this site ..just signed on and read what u guys/gals are saying. I’m 37 and just divorced because of the cross dressing issue. Sad to say, we tried everythingto keep it going but in the end I simply could not stop the urge to dress and she walked. Now I’ve never had sex with a man…I simply dress the part. But since my divorce, it’s progressed to the point where I think about going all the way.
Youth are much more informed today and make their choice early in life. I wish I would have known I was unable to quit because I would have dove in two feet first. I cant say I wish I was a girl or wanted to be that way when i was younger…to the contrary, the desire came to me in my 20’s at first slowly.
Society had a way of making me think it was very bad and abnormal. Some of me still feels that way but with the internet…..I don’t feel alone. There are others like me (although not as muh as in the USA). Since then, I’ve been reading and informing myself and getting to know my true self. It’s a discovery process. Some discover quicker than others. I have no regrets other than the fact that I left a scar on a great woman. For that I am truly sorry and ashamed. But I look on the bright side. I can no longer hurt her and I can start feeling better as the guilt fades over time.
I there is one thing I remember of her …it’s the words she said when she finally left. Quote” I will be alone foreever” Sometimes I beleive her as I often lock myself up in the house and dress up/clean etc.. This way I dont hurt anyone and still feel good. One day, I may have the guts to come out…but for now, I have the internet.
So to all of you readers out there. Thank You for taking the steps I have not been able to do myself. One day perhaps.
Your CD gal. Denise
Hi Ronnie LTNS…LOL…Anyway, It all comes down to what one sees themselves as and how confident they are with their own decisions drives how they see others. If someone really ‘knows’ they are a girl then the desire to transition usually overweighs everything else regardless the consequences. A lot of people just do not see themselves that way yet have the overwhelming compulsion to cross dress. Why should those people transition? Lets face it, most people on the internet in the TS realm of things push transition as the end all cure all to gender incongruity. But I say BS to that. Transition is hard and is full of disappointment and heartache even for someone as successful as myself. Why? Because people have a past and it is always there and most people have an issue with trannys period. So if one is not totally committed and totally in it for the long haul, come what may, then I will stand with the minority and say: Don’t transition. And if people in the TG community have an issue with that then I rely on my old statement: SO WHAT!! LOL.
But you have said some very good points here, basically the whole thing is good Ronnie and I have an idea about what’s coming next too. So I won’t repeat all of that. I just have to look at my own situation and think of all the gyrations I went through, but with the overall thought in my head that I knew who I was , a girl. But I didn’t mind thinking of myself as a transvestite at the time either, maybe I just like scandal. But I knew I would transition eventually. Wqs it the best decision for me? Yeah of course. I had to pass and I find that the number one reason for success I have in jobs, relationships and everyday life, primarily everyday life. But I find that after a while people knowing really removes the stress of wondering what’s going to happen when they find out.
The trick is to pass, let people get to know me, then as time goes on if and when they figure it out the issues are much less. Don’t kid yourself, most people will eventually find out, there is always that past that comes up in one way or the other. Now I’ve done all the things that a person can do to prevent that from happening but for cutting completely all my past ties. I just won’t do that. So I guess that is the door left unlocked if you will. But the determination I have had to succeed has pushed me ahead. That determination comes from knowing in my heart who I am.
Can a person who likes to occasionally dress up and then gets more and more enthralled to the point that they want to transition really succeed? Are they transsexual? Or are they just really compelled to go full time for some other reason? I think there are more than a few reasons people do this. I think the only really good reason is because one is truly trnassexual, which is in their head they fully believe they are a girl. And they really always have, regardless of their past attempts to deny that of themselves.
There are these safeguards in place, by all the well meaning straight people out there. All the hoops and gatekeepers, and that all isn’t a bad thing. I’ve seen some really f**ked up people transition and live in some counter sub culture. That really can’t be too fun for the long haul. But now for me, long after all the shrinks and doctors and bullsh** I think it really wasn’t all so bad. I sit here a post op, a better person for it today I guess. And then I say if someone is one thing or the other, So What!
You rarely see me on the net, I really don’t have the urge to get in and chat too much with people on the net these days. I have become so busy with work, and life in general that the tranny thing just takes a back seat. But it is always back there. Because there are always bigots around to be wary of. But overall, people have to eventually be who they are. So I come back to the very first thing you said Ronnie, about how they haven’t examined us much at all. No they haven’t. They have not got anything figured out on the T end of things in human nature. That’s too bad really. So we each just have to rely on what our own heads tell us, and try to use good judgment and foresight to follow the path accordingly.
Kisses
Colleen Petrese
I’m going to agree with Liz on this one…things are getting better for our youth, but most of them are still pretty deeply in the closet. That’s why we aren’t seeing them, online or elsewhere.
It’s interesting to consider the possible non-existence of the crossdresser category. But I think I’m able to identify through my social capital model at least two distinct kinds of need/want paradigms, seemingly indicating there at least two kinds of gender non-compliants…essentially crossdressers and transgendered. One of these days I’m going to write that up…
Great article, and great thoughts and comments from others.
I too have encountered the phenomenon of the invisible younger TG person. I speak on TG in high schools and universities all over Iowa, and to date have personally encountered only 4 folks who identify as TG (3 bio girls, 1 bio boy). All of these folks are under 20, and one is still in high school. All of them identify as TG first, then towards the TS side of the spectrum. I know that there are lots of others out there, but they have developed the skill (as we all have) of invisibility.
Recently, a good friend of mine has started a social/support type group for high school and college aged individuals who identify as TG. They informed me a few days ago that they think they should have 8-10 bodies at their first official meeting in a few weeks (weather permitting). He has been running into all sorts of problems, he says hat he knows there are tone of kids out there, but everyone is deeply in the closet, with the exception of a few strong TS identifying persons. His question, and one we have not found an answer for, is how to help those who are still deeply in the closet, step far enough out that they can find friendship, support, and community with others. But that’s a whole other topic.
Great article, once again Ronnie! Drop me a line if you ever are headed back this direction.
Your comments on ENDA made me think. It’s ironic: HRC seems to think we’re all straight. The general public thinks we’re all gay. Go figure.
Good article, Ronnie. I’ve always had issues with people, even in our own community, who feel that if you crossdress, then obviously you’re TS, or gay. God forbid that you should ever claim to be a heterosexual. It’s no wonder that the “powers that be” (i.e. HRC, etc.) feel that we don’t deserve inclusion in ENDA. Why should we be afforded rights when we can’t even figure out who we are in the first place. We pay so much lip-service to wanting acceptance, but then turn right around and argue about being TS, TG, pre-op, post-op, left handed, right brained, or whatever.
Your comments regarding the Internet and how it’s influenced the community is very pertinent as well. Younger members of the trans family haven’t had to deal with much of the soul-searching folks in their 40s and beyond have. That’s both good and bad, and could be the subject for yet another article.
Americans in general don’t seem to have a grasp of history. Anything that didn’t happen in the last 15 minutes isn’t important and has no bearing on their daily lives. I see this as a music journalist…many of the younger musicians and entertainers have a sense of entitlement and have no realization of those who have blazed the path they are now making good careers on.
I’ve rambled enough…thanks for a great article.
DeGroff
As one of the few folks who ever comment here, I had decided to put the “Ten Foot Pole” rule into effect.
I guess nobody has big enough ‘uns to comment, Ronnie. You said at least a couple of things here that should provole some comments but so far nada. As for the under 27s, they’re living with their parents. Heck, some of the over 27s are still living with their parents. Makes it hard to get out and about.