Communication Skills

It is easy to lament the decline of communication standards in our day. In fact, this has been a cliché for quite some time. At the dawn of the radio age in the 1920s, British author G.K. Chesterton observed: “How strange it is that mankind should have invented a machine for speaking to the whole world at precisely the moment when no man has anything to say.” Or, to borrow an inflation reference: The more words we use, the less value and meaning they seem to have. (A casual review of present-day political, video and online discourse makes this abundantly clear.)

In recent years, artists have often made references to the challenges of modern communication. Even in a world awash with books, recordings, online content and other sources of media, miscommunication still flourishes. In the rock world alone, there are classic songs by Led Zeppelin (“Communication Breakdown”) and Ratt (“Lack of Communication”) that allude to this, not to mention countless titles by other artists lamenting the loss or decline of a personal relationship with their beloved. Clearly, there is something about the fallen human condition that makes perfect communication impossible.

Throughout recorded history, communication has taken many forms. Beginning with gestures and words, humans have ultimately devised alphabets and glyphs for communicating. There are even symbols used to identify national identity, as you will see on flags, signs and militaria.

What’s often forgotten — or under-appreciated — is that clothing is also a form of communication. In some cases, this is obvious. As every TGForum reader knows, there are clothing guidelines that readily distinguish male from female. (We wouldn’t have it any other way!)

But there are other subtle differences too. For example, prior to the 1960s, short pants and skirts/dresses were traditionally a mark of childhood. It was once considered a milestone in a young boy’s life when he wore his first pair of long pants, just like the adult men. Similarly, when a girl first wore a dress with a hemline below her knees — such as to her First Communion, or a school dance — it was a memorable occasion. Today, when it seems like the adults wish to dress like children forever, this meaning has sadly been turned on its head.

Military uniforms speak very loudly. Not only do they identify a branch of service and a national affiliation, the insignia and decorations also will tell you the wearer’s rank, unit, and even where he may have served and/or fought in combat. The habits worn by religious orders also identify such a curriculum vitae. School uniforms in both the United States and Britain will project similar information to a discerning eye.

Iron Maiden (1980s)

LL Cool J (1985)

Even musicians have a clothing language. When I was a 1980s teenager, the heavy metal groups wore leather jackets, denim jeans and metallic-studded accessories (think Judas Priest and Iron Maiden). The standard hip-hop look personified by LL Cool J and Run-DMC featured Kangol hats, gold jewelry, track suits and basketball sneakers. Although I no longer follow pop culture, I suspect that the artists of the 2020s also have their own standardized forms of apparel by genre. Such styles obviously have the ability to pinpoint a time and place, as a comparison of rock musicians from the 1950s and 1960s can easily attest.

Ukrainian national costume.

In many parts of the world, ethnic clothing remains. Many of us became familiar with Ukrainian folk costume during 2022. In the German-speaking world, which did not have meaningful political unity in any sense prior to 1871, traditionally identifiable regional costumes — complete with still-surviving linguistic dialects — continue to thrive in Austria, Bavaria and Switzerland

There is also subtle and meaningful communication in an athletic team uniform. As a high school football player, our uniforms had logos and colors to identify our team, and our individual number signified the position that we played. (My uniform number fell between the range of 80 and 89, which marked me on sight as a wide receiver.) On top of that, we had two different uniforms, one each for home games and road games.

With this in mind, it is clear that every time we dress for public appearance, we are making significant, recognizable, non-verbal statements with our attire. This should lead us all to ask ourselves: What are we attempting to communicate today through our clothing? Presently, it would seem that too many of us are communicating that we just don’t care. The excessive casualness that has mushroomed in the past 25 years, combined with the isolation that too many of us experienced from 2020-21, has led to many people dressing as if we have nothing meaningful to say, or worse – that we are simply talking to ourselves.

As for me, having emerged in the last two years as an open and happily transitioned TG individual, I choose to communicate at every opportunity that I am a confident, inviting lady who respects her audience. Two weeks ago, I had my first maskless (hallelujah!) dental appointment since January 2020, pre-transition. I wore a pink tank, coordinating print canvas A-line skirt and white wedge espadrilles — perfect for summer — and my face was made up appropriately. I received compliments from the staff, all of whom saw a smiling, engaging patient whose care and attention to detail communicated that she valued their time and was (so to speak) glad to be there.

At work, our relaxed casual dress code can be very convenient, particularly on days of extreme or challenging weather conditions. Even so, I try to dress things up a little, with pretty colors and accessories that hopefully tell others that I consider this a labor of love. My colleagues have responded quite favorably. Similarly, when out shopping, socializing, traveling, at worship, etc. my coordinated and tasteful selections broadcast respect for myself and others.

Before I was out, I would occasionally wear female items under my regular attire, where it would not have been noticeable. At other times, I would dress in feminine casuals during a nighttime walk in my neighborhood, when it was quiet and dark and when I could avoid being seen or recognized. While these were helpful and important initial steps, I suppose that my communication then was antisocial, or perhaps a form of talking to myself. Once I felt comfortable going out openly and visibly, I was then engaged in an actual conversation with the public, even if it was initially non-verbal. It wasn’t too long before the verbal communication followed, and life became more open and interactive. I became much more publicly comfortable and relaxed in every way.

There is a great deal of communication taking place in our style and appearance, whether we ourselves notice or even care. What messages, data, signals, etc. do you wish to be projected by your attire? Try not to let it be said that “what we have here is failure to communicate” — or the equivalent of an obscene gesture. When you’re out, let others see that you have something helpful and positive to contribute!

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Tags: featured, opinion, Transgender, Transition

Category: Transgender Opinion