At a loss for words…
My best friend came out of the closet, sort of, recently. He revealed that he has Klinefelter’s Syndrome. I’m not sure what to say.
In case, you’re wondering, Klinefelter’s Syndrome, according to Wikipedia, is a “condition caused by a chromosome aneuploidy. Affected males have an extra X sex chromosome.”
Now, naturally, this doesn’t bother me at all. Who am I to discriminate against someone because of how they were born? He’s a wonderful human being. Probably one of the best people I’ve ever known. Smarter than 99% of the population. More caring and sympathetic than every other friend. To quote Louis from Casablanca: “If I were a beautiful woman, I would be in love with him.”
I’m not even sure I’m not.
Anyway, it bothers him. A great deal. He’s known all his adult life he had that extra X, and he’s not talked about it at all. Ever.
But, something happened recently, or maybe it was building up over years, and he made a few revelations in an e-mail. Part of the problem is we’re several states away from one another. He doesn’t return phone calls, doesn’t respond to e-mail, and says he wants to be left alone to wallow for a while.
We were roommates in college. That’s when I came out to him. He was absolutely fine with me being transgendered, but never let on to his condition. A few years after college, we were roommates again. He knew I was still TG, and we talked about it a few times, but he never talked about himself.
If we still lived together, or even closer, we’d be talking. Or, at least, he wouldn’t be in this funk. I’m sure of it.
After his “confession” e-mail, I sent him a brief note saying essentially “I’ll give you your space, and when you’re ready to talk, you know where to find me.”
But when he does… what do I say? Is there anything I can say?
After all, I’m coming from a transgendered perspective, which I seem to think gives me some idea of what he’s going through. My mind doesn’t match my body. I tend to believe his body doesn’t match his mind. Is that far off?
Or is it completely different? Is he scared to bring things up with me because he knows I’m TG, and knows that I’m skewed?
Anyone? Anyone?
Category: All TGForum Posts, Transgender Body & Soul
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Ronnie Rho has been writing for Transgender Forum since May of 1999. One of these days, she'll get it right. She's been described as the "world's most famous recluse," but only by people who don't know her very well. She is unmarried, and lives in Cincinnati.Subscribe
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Ronnie thanks fr sharing such a personal thing. I’m not sure if my words will be helpful or not, but I’ll give it a shot. I probably won’t say anything that you don’t know or haven’t thought of.
Every single person who knows that there is something about them that does not fit the norm responds to that reality differently. For many, if it is something that can be hidden from the general public successfully, that is the path that is taken. I think that it showed remarkable courage for your friend to share his reality with you, even if you feel it was years in coming.
I think that the best thing to do is not to plan your words ahead of any potential conversation; other than to know that you will be supportive of him. Perhaps the simple act of telling you his secret was enough for him, and he doesn’t feel the need to delve further (hard as that may be for you). Or perhaps, his confession was the first step in a much longer journey for the two of you and your friendship, which it sounds like this may be. I don’t think his silence has anything to do with your being TG, if anything that reality may have been the reason for his courageous act of telling you. When he is ready to talk and share further, you will hear from him.
Be the friend that you have always been for him and allow this new information to help you be an even better friend as time goes by.