Adventures in Androgyny

| Sep 5, 2016
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You Look Amazing – Thanks!

SAM_0210-001Friday afternoon, I had two surprise encounters that were both pleasing and, to some degree, disappointing. As I have written, I enjoy venturing out dressed androgynously. I had some errands to run and decided to do that look. I changed into one of my favorite outfits and took the dog out before I headed out. I walked down to the corner — a frequent dog visiting spot in the neighborhood. Just as I got there, two women in a Mercedes SUV came around the corner and stopped. The passenger window came down and a woman with what sounded like a Nigerian accent said, “I have to take your picture. I love the outfit and the dog. You look amazing.” I smiled and said thank you. That said, I hope I don’t end up on somebody’s Facebook page. My secret could be out.

I dropped the dog back home and went to run my errands. I stopped at “Tuesday Mornings” — I was checking for some kitchen utensils. While standing in the kitchen isle, a man walked by and commented, “Nice pumps. You look great in them. You’ve kind of got that black and jeans look going for you.” I thanked him for the compliment and went on with my shopping.

SAM_0245-002In both these encounters, I believe the comments were meant as sincere compliments. I am pretty slender and the low rise jeans fit nicely. The body briefer I wear underneath pulls in my waist and helps emphasize my hips. Granted, it is a sort of nontraditional look, particularly for a man of my age. My peep toe high heeled booties help the walk. Who knew that “Toms” had boots like these. I have attached a picture I took when I got home from the trip.

My disappointment comes from the reality that I cannot even contemplate dressing in this fashion among most of my friends and relatives. Even though my wife has seen at least part of this look, she is not comfortable with the overt femininity it displays. Ironically, she is not troubled by a somewhat masculine look for women. Like many in our society, our friends and associates are not tolerant of men dressing like or adopting a style designated as feminine. Nonetheless, as my experience has demonstrated, if whatever form or shape we present works with our clothing choices, it can look okay. And, as long as it is not someone they know, people can be surprisingly open to the courage and imagination it takes to dress so uniquely.

If we watch the proliferation of young males being used to model women’s fashions, we can learn the potential for androgynous style in elegant clothing. I am relatively certain that most of those in my generation are troubled by any gender blending. I’m sure no one would be comfortable if I went to dinner dressed as I would truly like. The androgyny is a viable substitute, but the other shot is more like I would actually like to appear.

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Category: Transgender Body & Soul


About the Author ()

Fellow Travelers, I\\\'m not afraid to admit that I am a senior. What that actually means is anybody\\\'s guess. I have retired several times from government, consulting, and non-profit work. I enjoy writing and volunteering at my church and in the community. I have a lovely and supportive wife who does not really enjoy the CD thing, but is as accepting of who I am as I am accepting of her. I hope to entertain you and give you insights into my journey. It is not yours, but the similar experiences of reflective people benefit everyone who wants our world to be safe - for everyone. You know, \\\"An unexamined life . . .\\\" FAM

Comments (2)

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  1. carlaroberts carlaroberts says:

    I so understand your feelings. I am Enfemme much of the time, but I am not comfortable being presenting completely as male. So, when doing “The Chores” about the most I can endure is wearing women’s jeans, a colorful top, and shoes that cross over. I always wear earrings, but small silver ball studs are a minimum. I am fortunate as a senior, to have all of my hair still, which I style the same every day, whether I am dressed androgynously or enfemme. I am sure you understand how it feels to be androgynous and still are referred to as “Ma’am” when it isn’t expected. My wife is accepting, but not completely thrilled with my lifestyle, so just as you, I walk a fine line.
    Thanks for your post


    • Falecia0 Falecia0 says:

      Thanks for your comments. I get your wife’s reservations/discomfort. At saner moments, I completely realize how utterly ridiculous our passion for “dress” appears to most people. That said, the passion shown by some for any number of pastimes seems often as bizarre. I’m a car guy, but I can no more rationalize my fascination with some cars than why a beautiful and unique pair of “heels” will make me eager to wear them. So, what is it about fly fishing, stamp collecting, bird watching, or duck hunting that is so acceptable, holsome and “normal?”

      Maybe we need to start a movement for crossdressing tournaments. We could have local and regional contest that bring us to state championships. We could have novelty divisions for those who don’t achieve high levels in female impersonization, but develop a look that is singular, clever and well executed. Some people would be amazed how well many of us negotiate in high heels just like those who master skate boards or roller blades. Crossdressing does have elements of knowledge, discipline, experience and talent. In other words, some do it well and some not so well. But as in other sports, there should be acknowledgement of effort and good sportsmanship. Just a thought!

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