Adventures in Androgyny

You Look Amazing – Thanks!

Friday afternoon, I had two surprise encounters that were both pleasing and, to some degree, disappointing. As I have written, I enjoy venturing out dressed androgynously. I had some errands to run and decided to do that look. I changed into one of my favorite outfits and took the dog out before I headed out. I walked down to the corner — a frequent dog visiting spot in the neighborhood. Just as I got there, two women in a Mercedes SUV came around the corner and stopped. The passenger window came down and a woman with what sounded like a Nigerian accent said, “I have to take your picture. I love the outfit and the dog. You look amazing.” I smiled and said thank you. That said, I hope I don’t end up on somebody’s Facebook page. My secret could be out.

I dropped the dog back home and went to run my errands. I stopped at “Tuesday Mornings” — I was checking for some kitchen utensils. While standing in the kitchen isle, a man walked by and commented, “Nice pumps. You look great in them. You’ve kind of got that black and jeans look going for you.” I thanked him for the compliment and went on with my shopping.

In both these encounters, I believe the comments were meant as sincere compliments. I am pretty slender and the low rise jeans fit nicely. The body briefer I wear underneath pulls in my waist and helps emphasize my hips. Granted, it is a sort of nontraditional look, particularly for a man of my age. My peep toe high heeled booties help the walk. Who knew that “Toms” had boots like these. I have attached a picture I took when I got home from the trip.

My disappointment comes from the reality that I cannot even contemplate dressing in this fashion among most of my friends and relatives. Even though my wife has seen at least part of this look, she is not comfortable with the overt femininity it displays. Ironically, she is not troubled by a somewhat masculine look for women. Like many in our society, our friends and associates are not tolerant of men dressing like or adopting a style designated as feminine. Nonetheless, as my experience has demonstrated, if whatever form or shape we present works with our clothing choices, it can look okay. And, as long as it is not someone they know, people can be surprisingly open to the courage and imagination it takes to dress so uniquely.

If we watch the proliferation of young males being used to model women’s fashions, we can learn the potential for androgynous style in elegant clothing. I am relatively certain that most of those in my generation are troubled by any gender blending. I’m sure no one would be comfortable if I went to dinner dressed as I would truly like. The androgyny is a viable substitute, but the other shot is more like I would actually like to appear.

Tags: androgyny, closeted, crossdressing, featured

Category: Transgender Body & Soul