Who’s Mom?

A very controversial and highly emotional issue arose over Mother’s Day with several of my cisgender women friends who are married to or divorced from their MTF husbands. Apparently, some of these trans women wanted to be recognized and celebrated as their children’s mom on Mother’s Day. In one case, it went to court when the transgender spouse demanded equal time on Mother’s Day as their daughter’s “mother.”

Never have I seen this group set on fire like they were in response to these stories. One woman said, “It wasn’t her husband who endured 36 hours of labor, over 2 hours of active pushing, and an emergency c-section, so he can fantasize all he wants about being a mom.” Another woman was distraught at seeing her ex-husband’s Facebook page bragging about what a great Mother’s Day he had, complete with flowers, brunch, and a three-generation photo with his mother and daughter.

Of course, the devil’s advocate debate would naturally be, “What makes a mom a mom?” Is it your anatomy alone that makes you a mom? Many women have given birth but don’t raise their child, so are they a “mom?” Conversely, many men have raised their children as a single parent and play the role of “mom” and “dad” when needed. But do they ask their children to call them mom?

The increasingly sensitive and complex issues in the trans community will undoubtedly continue to raise questions and arguments about gender roles. In the meantime, a group of really pissed off women out there will fight to the death to retain their title as their children’s one and only “mom.”

My personal situation of being married to a crossdresser has presented some harrowing and difficult problems that have sometimes brought me to my knees with pain. However, this is one situation I am grateful not to have to contend with. But, if I were, would I fight? Yes, I think I would.

Tags: crossdressing, featured, partners, Transgender

Category: Opinion