“When One Door Closes Another. . .”

“Hey girls, I’m crushed!” I exclaimed.

“What is it now, Linda, did you break another nail?” replied one sarcastically.

“Run in your thigh highs?” asked another.

“No, but why don’t they sell those in packages of three?” I replied, “but that is another story. Triangles is closed!”

“It’s ‘triangles are closed.’ And yes that is a common property of all triangles,” chirped in Brianna, the most academically inclined (by a power of ten) of all the girls I was meeting for our regular get together.

“Ha, good one,” said I, the second most academically inclined. “No, Triangles, the nightclub in Connecticut is no more.” Needless to say that didn’t overly concern those Canadian girls so I felt obliged to elaborate further.

I told them that for the last several years I had been taking a week’s holiday at a time and going away to be Linda 24 hours a day, seven days a week. (Actually I don’t make much of a Linda when I am sleeping or when I am shaving in the morning but you know what I mean.)

The ladies of Triangles

I told them that my May getaways had always been to the northeastern United States and they had been timed to coincide with the third Saturday night of the month party at the Triangles Café, near Danbury CT. From Provincetown to the Poconos my holidays would start at a quiet off-season resort but wrap up at the vibrant Triangles Café and Tiffany Leigh’s fabulous ‘Friends of Triangles’ parties, held once a month on the third Saturday.

“Triangles? I’ve never heard of Triangles,” said Joanie.

“I hadn’t either until a few years ago. I only discovered it by accident,” I replied, “and the first time I tried to go there I didn’t find it. I had expected it to be in downtown Danbury or at least in some suburban area. All gay bars are in urban areas, I thought. Well it was on a road called Sugar Hollow.  66 Sugar Hollow to be exact but it could have been 666 or 69 Sugar Hollow for all it mattered. Sugar Hollow Road was dark and winding, squeezed between steep hills. It was impossible to see street addresses. Remember the Disney cartoon about the Headless Horseman? The road reminded me of Ichabod Crane’s late night ride through Sleepy Hollow.” The blank looks on the younger girls’ faces told me I was dating myself yet again.

“Well that was a Friday night when I had intended to scout out the place before the Saturday party. The next evening there was no problem finding Triangles. Although it was tucked in behind and underneath a couple of stores the packed parking lot left no doubt of the location.

“The club had been around since the 1980s but it really started sending out stronger signals on the TG radar with the start of Tiffany Leigh’s famous parties about ten years ago. By the time I got to one of the parties they were well established. TSs, CDs and admirers, couples gay and straight, not only from metro New York but from all over New England and stretching to DC, Detroit and of course in to Canada would find a way to get to Danbury and Triangles the third Saturday of every month. “

“That must have caused a spike up in local room nights,” said Louisa who I suspect worked in the hotel industry.

“I think it did and part of the energy of the parties was the cat and mouse game to see who would be going to whose hotel room for the after party. Of course I never was part of that,” I mockingly insisted. “It was interesting to watch throughout the evening as strangers became friends or new girls were invited in to groups and as an admirer would shyly got up the nerve to approach a girl he found attractive. Tiffany ran a regular party for regular people. You had dancing and bar chat. Of course there was a pool table and crowded gatherings on the smokers’ patio but I always found an exciting undercurrent of sexuality about the events. They were a far cry from our support group socials.”

“If the parties were so popular why is the club closed?” someone asked.

“That’s a funny thing. No one seems to know why. When I went searching for the Triangles website and found it gone I asked my friend, Jan Brown, about it. She lives in that area and usually knows everything about what is going on in the TG scene.  She didn’t know but she sent me a posting from the party organizer, Tiffany Leigh. Even she didn’t find out about the closing until the night of what turned out to be her last party. It seems she was told and the staff posted a notice on their Facebook page and that was it. The business was gone. They told her the night of one party that there wouldn’t be another party the next month, in fact the club wouldn’t even be open the next day.

“That must have been tough on their staff.”

“I guess it was. You know I don’t know Tiffany Leigh but I liked the tone of her message. She didn’t cast blame on the management of the club for not keeping it going. Things happen and it is not always our business to know why they happen. She did say that she and the rest of us will miss a great party venue, a place where many of us had been able to grow in to our TG roles and identities, to grow and explore ourselves and make new friendships. However her biggest concern was for the staff of the club. I remember she wrote, ‘we may have lost our home but they did, too, as well as their livelihood.’ Amen to that, I thought, having been once tossed out of work when an employer of mine lost his job.”

“What’s happening there now? What are the girls doing for parties?”

“According to the posting that Jan sent it seems there are now several clubs in the area seeking to pick up the business that Triangles’ closure cut free. From Poughkeepsie to New Haven clubs are suddenly finding a reason to host trans-friendly parties. For a while at least the one bar closing will spawn several imitators opening.”

“They can hold the parties but will the girls come?” asked Louisa, “it takes a lot of nerve for us to get out of the closet.”

“Many are already out but you know as we get older so is everybody else and new generations of lively potential ‘newbies’ are always getting ready to leave their closets. It is important that they have friendly venues to visit. Let me send you something that Tiffany Leigh wrote in her posting. It is about what Triangles meant to her. To me it could be written about many TG clubs and parties by many of us girls.”

The next day I e-mailed this to my friends:

Girls,

We talked last night about the closing of Triangles. I said I’d send you what the party organizer wrote about the future. It is significant to me because it can represent what so many TG clubs and parties from Angela’s Laptop Lounge to Parliament House in Orlando mean to so many of us girls.

She wrote: “Ten years ago, I wasn’t out yet. I was closeted, and miserable. I was still growing and learning to be Tiffany. Being trans wasn’t fully in my life every day, with every breath, like it is today. Back then, finding the time and space and reasons — and courage — to go out was difficult, if not impossible.

“That was before Triangles Café. And I didn’t find it — it found me, at the perfect time. That first night I attended in November 2005, something inside me saw the light and felt the warmth. And I discovered something else — HOPE. Here was a place that Tiffany started seeing the light of day.

“I started the parties because I suspected that I was not the only person that wished for something constant, something safe, and something hopeful that would always be there for anyone who needed this space. Like Triangles.

“So Triangles over these last nine-plus years was the constant. It was our beacon, our lighthouse in dark waters. Even if you knew you couldn’t make it every month, season — or even every year — there was comfort in the fact that it would always be there, every month, without fail. I know this better than anyone, having been in attendance for 92 of the 93 parties I hosted since 2005.

“And now that light is out.”

Despite all of her parties I attended at Triangles I don’t think I ever met Tiffany Leigh but I wish I had. I know I would have liked her as I appreciate her forward looking conclusion:

“Mark my words: there will be a future for our community, our found family. And I will continue to be a part of it.

“We may have lost a home, but we can find a new one. Together. I’ll need your help and your courage. Because in this new chapter, the shape and form of a future party or event may take different forms.

“I would love future events to be the exact same experience no matter where we land. Nothing will ever replicate Triangles, but I’m confident they can be a kindred spirit, regardless of location, or when they occur, or how.

“Because YOU are what made these parties glow. It hurts and is raw now because of the memories and friendships and interactions that we made at 66 Sugar Hollow Road (and that treacherous parking lot!).

“But it was the human beings that defined the space and shaped our lives there. Person-to-person, month after month, we built friendships there. We forged relationships with each other. That is what we miss.

“But that is something we can find again, because we will never lose that bond we’ve forged.

“And yes, there is change. But change isn’t “bad,” it’s just change. . .

“There is such a thing as “life without Triangles.” What isn’t changing is our community. We may have lost someplace we called home, but we won’t be homeless for long. And as long as we keep in touch and support each other, I’m confident that we can create a new home that’s just as safe, fun,friendly, and accepting as Triangles Café was for the last decade. . . .”

As Tiffany says we can’t dwell too long on the closed chapters of our lives. We have to write new chapters. How true that is.

A few years ago I wrote an article here about my five favorite TG bars in America and the one thing they all had in common — they were all recently closed. At the time those five were the Queen Mary (Los Angeles) Backstreet (Atlanta) The Cartwheel (New Hope, PA), Ziegfeld’s (DC) and Club Edelweiss (NYC). I could have added the Black Rose (San Fran) The Dufferin and Club Odyssey (Vancouver) Christine’s and Woody’s (Toronto) and now Triangles. Sad but as they say change is one of the constants in our lives.

Now I’m glad to hear that Ziegfeld’s has re-opened in a new location and all of those cities have more and newer TG-friendly clubs in new locations.

So girls: get up and get away from your computer, put on your best make up and a nice sexy outfit and get yourself to the nearest friendly nightclub or party. Open up and have a great time. See you there!

Tags: crossdressing, featured, Out & About, Triangles

Category: Out & About, Transgender Community News