Waiting My Turn

Waiting for the ladies’ room.

Last weekend a dear friend and I attended an outstanding orchestra performance with guest singers. The Performing Arts Center holds 700+ patrons. During intermission, I needed a trip to the ladies’ room and, naturally, there was a long line. I queued up at the end and inched my way along with the rest of the ladies, new arrivals filling in behind me. All of us were impatient, yet resigned to one of our fates in life, waiting in line for the restroom.

Moving forward, ever so slowly

We each made typical comments: “Why don’t they have a bigger restroom?” “I shouldn’t have had a glass of wine before the overture.” “The baritone sure is good looking, and can he sing!” Once inside, as our turn came up, we each dashed into the stall. Coming out, hands were washed, lipstick applied and the other occupants given a glancing appraisal. Then out the door into a crowd of people outside the restroom door.

What did not happen

The one thing that did not happen was someone stopping, looking at me and demanding, “What are you doing in here?” or shouting, “Men are not permitted in the ladies’ room.” or declaring, “Are you a pervert or a child molester?” Nothing was said to me nor did I hear anything said about me. If I was made, I didn’t notice or care. The bottom line was we all successfully used the toilet and got out and nothing, nothing at all, happened.

What did happen

What did happen was I broke the law. My birth gender designation did not match the gender of the bathroom I was using. I have an ‘M’ on my birth certificate and I was in the ‘F’ line. In a lot of places in my state and in this country, a law enforcement officer could have been dispatched, I would have been arrested and put in the back of a police cruiser and taken down and booked into jail. Just for needing to use the restroom.

Conservative legislators and politicians

Around this country, legislators and politicians are enacting restrictive and harmful laws against Trans* and gender non-conforming people. In some states, existing protections and Human Rights Ordinances are being repealed or gutted of any real protection. These politicians, a large majority of whom are men, are working diligently to crush my rights and the rights of those like me. What evidence are they using to make such rash decisions? Have they asked those of us affected what we think and feel? If anyone who is a member of the LGBTQIA+ community has been asked their opinions by a politician, I would sure love to talk to you. I wish just one of the politicians representing my hometown would have asked the other women in line what they thought about a Trans* person using their restroom. Would it sway them away from enacting these reprehensible laws? I think not. They never seem to care what the constituency thinks or feels on these emotional issues. To whom are the politicians speaking?

What is there to fear

Why is fear being generated where there is no reason to be afraid? There is not one incident of a Trans* person molesting, abusing or harming anyone in a public restroom. However, there are incidents of Trans* people being confronted and intimidated in public restrooms. There is also a growing list of cisgender people being wrongly suspected of being Trans* and being intimidated and harassed. The evidence shows there is no reason to worry about Trans* people using the same restroom as cisgender people. They are there for the same reason as everyone else, nothing more and nothing less. If you don’t believe me, please check with the ladies who attended the orchestra last Friday night. If that isn’t enough proof, check with the ladies in the restroom at the Italian restaurant just up the street. I broke the law there too.

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Tags: featured, opinion, politics, restroom wars, Transgender

Category: Transgender Opinion, Transgender Politics