Willowyone

[Willowyone]

Wow!

Lord Cornbury, the third Earl of Clarendon, was Queen Anne‘s cousin. His eccentricity took yet another form. The Queen made him her representative as Governor of New York and Jersey in America. He took it all very seriously and decided that as he represented a woman, he should dress as a woman. At the opening of the New York Assembly in 1702 he wore a blue-silk gown and satin shoes and carried a fan! He took to wearing the most sumptuous and expensive decorated hooped gowns in silk. As a result there was no money left for his wife who had to resort to stealing to clothe herself! He was ordered to return to England in 1708 but continued to dress as a woman and managed to remain a favourite of the Queen. https://www.historic-uk.com/CultureUK/British-Eccentrics/

[Willowyone]

What does question marks mean?

[Willowyone]

I am unsure if my experience will help any crossdressers who are considering coming out but anyways here are some positive strategies and experiences of my own.  I hope that some of this will be helpful during the pandemic and even more after.

I have been out in public for about five years and am 68 years of age.  Before being generally out in public when there were special events that presumably put the public in a cheery mood that could help me be accepted  at local free concerts, halloween, and some other holidays.  More than ten years ago I came out at neighborhood dance house parties.  

I prepared for those parties and that may have contributed to not just acceptance but requests to continue to attend and some surprising amount of appreciation.  

I had some mentoring from an acting student who was also a minority who helped me to expand my verbal and body language in order to uplift others.  I practiced getting better at modern and freeform dance in front of a mirror while chopping veggies for my dinners while tuned into Delila FM radio with good feminine dance tunes.  I improved not so much in a technical dance step sort of way but in my own self acceptance and projecting sincerity and caring to others while I dance.   The details of how I do that with dance are too much to get into here but please ask if interested.  

I gained my first little foothold at parties by engaging with individuals who were being ignored because of health, disability, or who don’t have the popular look and we had so much fun that other people began to notice and want some too.   But I reasoned that something more to boost caring among people was needed.  Even mainstream people have their own feelings of being ignored or disliked for some reason or another and though perhaps less than that of cross dressers I decided that by uplifting them it would help me too.  So I began to take flowers to the parties and watch couples until I saw something unique to them and then I go up to them give the flowers along with an affirmation that I have crafted especially for them.  Married people may be lucky to have someone but after some years they may feel that they are the overlooked married forever boring stereotype.  So for whatever the reason they really appreciated the attention.  It feels really good to get some hugs of appreciation!    I got the affirming idea from a minister when I was a youth who was really good at that.  Then there are the live bands or DJ’s that appreciate when someone is the first to get out and dance and get others out to appreciate the band.  I look at each musician and focus on what they are doing and various other music appreciations and the musicians usually like that and sometimes even dedicate a bit of a riff to me.  

Uplifting others makes the fun  spread even to the “cool beautiful” people and then everyone is dancing with everyone!   Silly artificial social status inventions are torn down and then the party rip roars!

When I am out on the street some people that I do not know but perhaps from some party or concert that I have been to give me a shout out or thumbs up.  

When approaching by foot I asses if individuals want to be greeted.  I have rehearsed a variety of greetings, quickly choose an appropriate one, and launch it.  

With tough guys or negative people I try to get away fast but sometimes I stand my ground by using some empathy that I learned by reading about Nelson Mandella.  I put myself in the shoes of a person who is verbally trying to put me down.  I try to identify what is difficult in their lives and give them some credit for surviving it.  I can give examples but wont go on longer here now.  

Best to you all and may we be well.  

[Willowyone]

Sometimes I am hesitant to use the term crossdresser because it might imply to some people that I am without other feminine interests including helping people in various ways that women do well. I am glad to see that at this site the wider feminine interpretation of crossdresser is allowed. Sometimes when I feel the crossdresser tag is not taken seriously I use the term transgender for myself though I probably will never transition. Genderfluid works for me sometimes though the word fluid does not really describe my feelings when I get to switch from drab to fabulous!

[Willowyone]

Hello Dears,
I am new to the forum. Going out dressed femme is difficult for some individuals for a variety of reasons. Now with the pandemic here and face masks becoming more prevalent in my area I wondered if anyone has some comments about using face masks as a way to go out and more likely pass as female. Masks cover the chin and nose that are larger on XY individuals.

Myself I am always out but I happen to live in an area that is very T friendly.

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