Dating While Transgender

[angela_g]

How’s your love life? Care to share what it is like to date while transgender? What problems have you experienced, either as a trans woman or a part time crossdresser, around finding a romantic partner?

[Piper]

While I’m married now, and my wife has known since day one about the real me, there was a long period I refused to date. I wasn’t sure how to share about myself to the world, or even entirely what I wanted for myself. As such I felt it would be selfish of me to enter into a relationship while I’m still trying to figure out who I was.

As time went on and I came to realize just who the real me was, I expanded my horizons, and started not really looking, but opening myself to opportunities that I had blatantly turned down in the past.

I met my wife online as friends. I was able to help her get out of a bad situation and she moved in with me. Our relationship quickly progressed and while we were engaged for a long time, it’s 6 years later now, we have a 5 year old son, and we just celebrated our first full year of marriage.

Dating can be tough, and knowing yourself can be tougher, but sometimes if you just open yourself up to possibilities, the right person will just walk into your life.

-Piper

[Anonymous]

During transition (late 80’s) I had some gay friends from work that would act as my escort and take me out to diner and dancing. I dated a lawyer for awhile who had a thing for transwoman but it never went very far. After transition I dated some and moved in with a few. Got real serious once, marriage type serious, but he backed off when I came out to him. There’s a part of me that still loves that 6’2″ Texan. Was active in the BDSM scene for many years and I was semi-out in that community. I had lots of fun. Was even in a poly relationship for awhile. The last 16 years I’ve been with a woman I met in my BDSM days. Would do poly again if I fould the right person to add to the family.

Just have to be yourself and be careful. When I was younger I didn’t always disclose before things got “personal” but these days I generally just say it before things get too serious. Why put all the emotion into it if they’re just going to bail.

[carla1212]

I met my first boyfriend at age 16, and he didn’t know I was tg until the first time we were ready to have sex. I’ll never forget how confused and embarrassed he was. He got over it and we stayed together for 2 and a half years. But from then on I’ve always disclosed from day one. It’s not fair to a man to put him in that position and it’s uncomfortable for us girls too – plus things can get ugly if it’s the wrong kind of guy. I like knowing that a man wants me just the way I am, and lots of men want us. With online dating sites you can check it out before you ever meet in person and be sure it’s gonna work. I met my current boyfriend at a Starbucks over a coffee and disclosed to him right then and there.

[Anonymous]

well, it is a tuff thing. personally, I like dating black men. that makes it even more difficult to get hooked up. there is quite a few black gentlemen, that enjoy a cds’ company. but usually they aren’t into being seen by their friends with a cd. therefore places to go, and things to do are very limited. which is ok with me, because we usually end up going to his place, or hotel to “watch a movie, and snacks” .
sometimes it would be nice to go out in a nice outfit, and shop, or a movie, or hang out in a quiet bar, or romantic dance hall. may have to stick with a white gentleman to accomplish that evening. well, all I know is, a girl just has to stat at it, and be available and flexible. the rare ones of course being kept for dessert. ewwwww , that sounds cheap ! …… giggles

[jordanmicheals]

From the FTM perspective:

I find that disclosing up front is best you learn quickly what kind of person they really are. I’m lucky. I’m engaged to a wonderful pansexual man who supports my transition fully. We met at a Library in the computer section while we were both homeless.

[carla1212]

Yah I agree about black men – usually married/attached and always shy about being seen, yet totally into dating girls like us.

[Anonymous]

well, don’t think for one minute, that I’m complaining, because I’m not. I’m just saying it’s kinda rough (or could be) for me , not to become too involved (falling for) them. they are very excellent lovers, and would be easy to want something ltr. I guess all we can do is the best we can. I do know that us c/ds’ are becoming very popular. I think times are changing.

[Anonymous]

There’s really no problem with dating while transgender, it’s just the people around us who always talk about people.

[Anonymous]

We deserve equality in this world, black or white everybody and everyone deserves love and respect.

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry to hear that one, but always remember that we all deserve love and respect.

[texasgurl51]

hello there ppl
i am looking for a freind
i was married for 7 yrs got a divorced in 2002
had a few relationship off and on since then
then 2014 i try to crossdressing lifesytle.
well a good freind told me i should try panties and bras and find my feminine side of my self.
well i did and i went out and look around to find my style.
then 2015 i went out as dress as a female when out to my first lbgtq club/bar greeting as maam.
took me from surprise but i was happy finally.
well i start to go out more almost every weekend if i did not work.
oh and by the way i am single so no gfs issue as all.
so in 2017 i want to bring a more of a female look and i search around and ask questions.
and i found me a freind that i know for a past life that was a nurse practionor
so i start on hrt dec 2017 and been on then since.
now i been under the a regular dr care since nov 2018 and i got my dr letter for me to chance my name from the guy name i have had for 48 yrs.
and now i ready for my next step is go to court to get my court documents to get my name chance and marker chance to live my new life as a female.
so i know i have more to say but it hard to find a female to accept me as a transfemale.
so now i come to conclued that mostly transfemales go thru the lonely still til that r full surgery as female
right now i have some good suppose ppl in my life and i going to push forward to get to my final stage to be a female
any body want to talk to me i am just a reply away

[Anonymous]

Surgery won’t fix being lonely. Surgery is not about others, it’s only about your comfort. Dealing with your gender dysphoria. Did this all start in 2014? The older you are the harder it is to find a meaningful relationship. Sex is easy to find. Finding a partner is hard. Took me 10 years after my surgery to find someone and that relationship is in it’s 16th year. Think long and hard before SRS it’s a one way trip. In the past 30 years I’ve seen it help people and drive others to suicide. It’s a life altering choice so make sure you are doing it for the right reasons. The right surgeon can also make all the difference in the results.

[torry4738]

Interesting thread! Thank You all!

[torry4738]

how i can make a coming out????

[Author]

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