The Occasional Woman — Dress Up Right

A dress that’s too tight.

Dearest Little Readers, Hello! I hope you are all doing well, and staying classy. I was recently at a formal gala, everybody (well, most attendees, anyway) was “dressed up reeeeal fancy.” As was I—long dress sporting sequins and even some ostrich feathers! But a closer look revealed. . .some serious fashion faux pas! I shall now cheerfully enumerate them for you, so that you don’t repeat them!

Of all the “oh no she d’int” instances I call to your attention the transgression of the lady in a short white dress. The dress didn’t fit very well, which is a bit of a problem, and could have been more acceptable in one to two larger sizes. Fit is very important! If you try on a dress, and it rides up, clings vigorously in all the wrong places, 86 it and try a different size, or style.

Does it end there? Noooooo. . .when she walked past me, I could see her also too-small bikini undies outlined clearly—and one unclean bra strap hanging out of the sleeveless dress, almost to her elbow! Zounds! Too tight, VPL and a hanging strap—Yeesh. And at a formal event.

An example of extreme VPL.

To prevent such hideous nose-thumbing at proper dress, here are some pointers;

1. Get clothes that fit, or get them altered! If you can feel clothing is too tight, it probably is. Ditch it.

2. Check for the unforgivable VPL—Visible Panty Line. We don’t care what kind of drawers you are or aren’t wearing—we just don’t want to see them.

3. Make sure that labels and straps are not visible! If you’re wearing a black dress or blouse, fer the love of human decency, wear a dark bra! I saw more white straps sticking outta black dresses than I ever needed to see.

4. Heels—if you can’t walk in’em, Don’t wear them! Practice at home, or wear wedges, something in which you can walk, and even glide.

5. This is the easiest one—stand up straight! You will look regal, and your clothing won’t bunch up.

So, there you have it—let’s look great, and feel swell.

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Tags: fashion, featured, opinion, style

Category: Transgender Fashion, Transgender Opinion