The Crossdresser’s Wife — Self Inflicted?
How do you live day in and out, year after year, decade after decade as a closeted crossdresser, or a transgender? Your minds must be consumed of being continuously ‘on guard,’ making sure your wife or significant other does not find out what you have CHOSEN to hide from her.
Though you did not choose to be any of the aforementioned, you choose to withhold crucial personal information that your partner had every right (perhaps legal rights too) to know about this gigantic life secret of yours.
After eight years of listening to crossdresser’s wives true life stories, now more and more crossdressers, transgenders and yes even transsexuals are contacting me from all over the world. Most are asking for advice on how to disclose to their significant others, after a lifetime of lies. After they tell me their individual stories, many times my heart breaks into pieces — knowing what they have had to go through in life. No doubt it was highly disturbing to know of the pain too many are suffering from staying in the lie.
You really do owe “IT” to your partner. It is like someone who knowingly has a sexual disease but chooses not to disclose to another sexual partner — but it is much worse.
Granted, many of your life experiences sound like a life of torture but that does not give you the right to very possibly make your wives have a life of torture, trying to deal with your crossdressing or you suddenly being transgender. Yes, having to divorce our CD or TG husbands that we once loved can feel so much like torture. Having our families ripped to shreds can also feel like torture. Living with your lie can also be a form of torture.
Is it true to say, much of your torture is self-inflicted because you did not disclose to your partners before marriage?
Unfortunately society knows so little about these life conditions and therefore often make horrible, ignorant assumptions about all crossdressers and transgenders.
Ignorance is not bliss. People need to be taught about this world of GLBT and CDs and how it impacts so many lives. Too many people are hurting. The power of change sits so much with so many of you. Can you look in the mirror and decide to make that change? Tell your wives/partners…perhaps you will find your true self, once you act like your true self.
Cheers,
Dee A Levy, MA
www.crossdresserswives
The Crossdresser’s Wife * Our Secret Lives
Category: Transgender Body & Soul, Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
Dee A. Levy is the former spouse of a crossdresser. She has a BA in Women Studies and MA in Social Sciences and Comparative Education. She is the author of The Cross Dresser's Wife -- Our Secret Lives, available at Amazon.com, Kindle, Barnes and Noble, & www.crossdresserswives.com.Subscribe
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“It is like someone who knowingly has a sexual disease but chooses not to disclose to another sexual partner – but it is much worse.”
Thanks a lot for that, Dee. I don’t know where you got your facts from – or why you have a chip on your shoulder the size of a small planet – but comparing crossdressing and transgenderism with a sexual disease is outrageous. If you want to write sensationalist crap purely with the aim of offending people, then I suggest you go elsewhere. We try to be a little more grown-up around here, and none of us appreciate these highly offensive comparisons, which are based on nothing more substantial than your twisted bigotry. TG people have enough to contend with from the outside world without putting up with it on this forum as well.
This is by no means the first time you’ve come out with this sort of bullshit generalisation, and I for one am not willing to put up with any more of your gratuitous and unfounded insults. I shall be writing to the site editor about this to get an apology, or get you removed as a contributor, or both.
Once again, your article touches me deeply and at the same time angers me to no end. Had I been guilty of what you describe, I might feel differently. I did, however, reveal myself to my future bride before I even proposed. Her acceptance opened the door to my proposal. Marriage, in her mind, however, closed the door on my personal “IT”, as you describe it. When my drinking got so bad a couple years ago, I finally restated my situation. She dismissed it as something I had chosen, meaning I chose “our” life with kids over “my” life. Um, I missed that memo all those years ago. I really do appreciate your point of view, and totally understand, but it is not always as clearly the fault of the husband as you portray it to be.