Straight Men Attracted to Trans Women
There’s an active discussion about straight men and their attraction to trans women in the Transgender Forum. It’s a dynamic we’ve all been curious about here.
When I signed up for a dating site, I made it clear that I’m a part time woman. I wondered what kind of response I might get. I did get a few nasty emails, but for the most part, the response was overwhelmingly positive. I knew that some straight men fantasize about being with a girl like me. But I never realized how many!
It turns out that lots of straight men fantasize about being intimate with a trans woman, a drag queen or femme crossdresser.
There are more than a few that are conflicted and worry that it might mean they are gay. But gay men tend to be attracted to masculinity. They are not usually attracted to the feminine ideal women like me and my sisters project. I’m for all intents and purposes, a hetero woman — but far more glamorous.
My main objective when I dress and makeup, is to embody an ultra exaggerated feminine ideal — From high heels stockings and garters to corset push-up bra, big bouncy boobs makeup eyeshadow long lashes, red lips cascades of big blonde hair, perfume jewelry, glossy red fingernails, soft waxed smooth skin and slinky lingerie. A walking talking wet dream. There are many men who have dreamed of but never ever encountered such a woman, because she mainly exists in fantasy. Hollywood glamour, Jessica Rabbit. . .
“Regular women” tend to abhor this look out of political principle — they worry that putting on this look, even in fun, is to succumb to objectification. How many straight guys have given their wives or girlfriends some sexy slinky lingerie, only to get a cold response like: ” Heyyyy —This gift really isn’t for me, is it? It’s a gift for you — but it will be a cold day in hell before I strut around in the bedroom in something sleazy like this!”
The thing is I enjoy dressing in a more provocative and feminine way than most men’s girlfriends and wives. And I just LOVE being objectified and desired. I love being the girl these men fantasize about. And I don’t think Im alone — how about the rest of you girls?
xo Misha
Category: Transgender Opinion
About the Author (Author Profile)
I’m a mature passable Crossdresser, devoted to total transformation. Monthly mani-pedis and waxings, shapewear, squats and leg toning workouts, big bouncy breast forms and a total commitment to maximizing my femininity with makeup. hair and high heel strutting skills. I started late so I’m making up for lost time! I love celebrating my femininity. And I love being admired and desired. Don't be afraid to reach out to say hi if you like what you see! xo MishaSubscribe
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You lost me when you started taking digs at biological women and putting the whole of us women into a box as “prudish” or “not as glamorous” as a femme presenting bio male… Your misogyny is showing!
If you want to embody women, go right ahead- I’m all for is. The LEAST you could do is have the decency to show respect to the biological women who have been forced to dress down and cover up because we are told for as long as we can remember that we are the weaker sex, that men will take what they want from us and our bodies are a distraction to them.
We face serious threats just for having our bodies, something you would never have to face if you didn’t present as a femme- and if you do- I’m sure you have a better chance at fighting off an attacker than a “regular woman”. Women are typically born smaller than men, meaning fighting back would be more difficult for us.
Not to mention the physical hardships such as menstrual cycles, childbirth, etc. that you could NEVER understand. Being a woman is SO SO SO much more than looking just looking “glamorous” or being objectified.
To me, it sounds like this is some fetish for you. I am not sure why I expected better.. Leave it to someone born with a Y chromosome to dress as a woman, but still discredit us.
Dear Anonymous
You lost me when you placed quotation marks around words and phases I never used. I certainly didn’t use the word “prudish”. And it was not my intention to generalize about women and their attitudes or their experiences. I’m sorry if that’s how it came off. I abhor violence against women. And I recognize that the way women choose to (or are permitted to) present themselves in the world is inextricably connected to politics and the patriarchy.
I’ve written about this elsewhere. In general terms, my sense of femininity and the way I want to inhabit it is inspired by impulses Ive felt since I was old enough to play dress up with my mother’s wardrobe. Now I dress to honour all the women that have inspired me over my lifetime. Sometimes I do so conservatively. And sometimes I allow that femme kid in me to really let loose with dress-up play. But I would never do so to disrespect women.
know there are aspects of the female experience I can never take part in. But I believe my bi-gender nature does offer me, even marginally, a unique way to understand women, be they GG or trans. If my life had been spent under the influence and oppression of the male gaze, I’d likely be far less enamoured with the trappings of ultra erotic feminine fantasy fashion. No two people are alike and I apologize for over generalization.
I have experienced similar circumstances as Misha has. Every once in a long while, I get a nasty comment, but for the most part, men are attracted to my profile on the dating site which I posted. They seem to be attracted to my femininity and not the masculine part, or parts more literally. I think the core of the issue is that in the last 20-30 years, many women (gg) (I am not saying all) have put themselves out of reach as well as have become opposed to being seen as sexually attractive, except when it suits themselves. Acting like you are a commodity that isn’t affordable to most men doesn’t help matters when it comes to dating or attracting a mate or a date.
I can only speak for myself, however I think I have observed it general terms, that my desire to look as attractive as I possibly can to men as well as personify femininity attracts men, period. In my experience, I want a man to be sexually attracted to me, that means I am going in the right direction, while many women (gg) want men to piss off, unless it is on their terms.
Look, I may not speak for others, but I certainly don’t think I am completely off base. At the risk of sounding callous, what many women have done on a societal level, is that they have priced themselves out of the market and removed themselves, while gurls have, in many cases taken that market share. Don’t read too much into the commodity and market thing analogy, I am not referring to humans as products of goods, but just trying to explain what I see without getting too sociology-psychologically in the weeds.
Hi Misha.
Thank you for writing about this. I have been searching for someone to articulate how I feel so I know I am not alone. I am a Cis male who has been getting more and more attracted to trans women and even want to crossdress during sex. I would love to talk about this more and with others who feel the same but I don’t know where to go. At least reading your blog is a start.
Thank you.
Des.