Stochastic Musings – One Fish, Two Fish, Read Fish, Bleu Fish

Kalina talks about dining at her favorite restaurant in Philly, trannies who go to lesbian bars, and she defends the use of the word “tranny.” Click “more” to start her musings.

A couple of weeks ago, an admirer and I dined at Morimoto, my favorite restaurant in Philadelphia. He was amazed at how good I looked.

“I always bring my ‘A’ game whenever I go to nice restaurants,” I said.

My ‘A’ game is when I’m spot on perfect. I live to be seen, but appearance is only part of the equation. I have to be top notch in mannerisms, table manners, and etiquette, too. There is also the mysterious magic that makes me a great dinner companion, things that can’t be learned but must be woven into the fabric of your being.

We each ordered the $120 omakase, which included seven courses of fabulous meat and seafood dishes and an intermezzo of homemade apple soda. Sacrebleu! I am ecstatic that foie gras is now back at Morimoto! All of the dishes are shown below except for the sushi course that was so good we wolfed it down and forgot to take a picture of it.

I must be doing something right because the following week an admirer from DC treated me to lunch at Raw Sushi Bar and Lounge, and this week an admirer from New York treated me to lunch at Buddakan. I picked both restaurants. They’re great places. I met both guys from my Monday Night Tgirls party, proof that you can meet nice guys at a tranny party. By the way, I did meet some handsome hunks at Angela’s Laptop Lounge, too.

Many of you already know about my dislike for lesbian bars. What’s the point of entering a place where the clientele are obviously looking for plumbing that you don’t have? We’re trannies! Our plumbing would be more acceptable and desirable in gay bars or straight bars with gay or transgender theme nights. I guess some trannies don’t want anyone to bother them and feel that the lesbian bars offer a safer and more comfortable place filled with people they aspire to be. This is fine, but if all of the trannies are on one side of a bar and the genetic girls are on the other and nobody’s interacting with one another, how much are the lesbians really helping you become the woman you want to be?

Many of my tranny sisters, the glamorous ones, believe, or perhaps fantasize, that they can meet a lipstick lesbian in a lesbian bar. Everything that I’ve seen in lesbian bars convinces me that it is rare for two lipstick lesbians to get together. There’s always a boyish lesbian and a girlish lesbian. The same can be said for many gay and straight couples. Someone has to be the “butch” and the other the “femme.” I guarantee you that most trannies wouldn’t want to be the butch. When I ask these trannies if they’d ever go for a butch lesbian, the answer is always “Hell, no!” So trannies are hoping to see some eye candy (a typical male response) and the eye candy isn’t interested. I wouldn’t want to go to such a place, would you?

In the Gayborhood, if you’re a tranny and you look real (that is, you look like a real woman), you’re referred to as fish. Many trannies don’t go out often enough and don’t put in the time and effort to look good enough to be called fish. Instead, the neighborhood “ghetto” kids, which I strongly believe are just suburban youths dressing and acting like inner city urban youths, like to read our beloved tranny sisters. What’s a read? It’s akin to revealing a truth about someone, a harsh truth that usually doesn’t want to be heard. About eighteen years ago, when I first went out, I was read a lot and it used to bother me until I started listening to the truths and doing something about it. Maybe my makeup really was too harsh and my early wigs looked cheap, so I raised the bar on myself by purchasing the best makeup and wigs.

It’s the first time I’ve ever heard this, but a couple of girls have taken offense to my using the word tranny in my writings. The word tranny was first introduced to me in 2003 by a 24/7 transsexual friend of mine who heads an internationally recognized transgender magazine. She and her transsexual friends had no problem using it, so I adopted it as well. She warned me that some people might take offense to the word as if it were a slang or smear word. I find it quite amusing that some girls who didn’t even come out of their closets in 2003 would take offense to a word like that and how come nobody told me they were offended by my use of the word in over six years?

Stop trying to nitpick me and find another battle to take on because there are transsexuals who are proud of being transsexual and they have no problem with the word tranny. We even have transsexuals using the word tranny in their educational programs! Unless you live the life of a woman 24/7 with all of its rights, responsibilities, and hardships, you really cannot call yourself a woman. You might be a woman in mind and spirit, but take off the makeup, the hair, and the clothes and what do you see in the mirror? You’re a tranny, short for transsexual. There’s nothing wrong with that. If it walks, talks, and looks like a duck, it is a duck. You can’t just think like a duck to be a duck. Being referred to as a tranny is much better than being referred to as queer, in my opinion.

I’m working on two books right now, one called How to do Glamour Makeup and another called Passable. How to do Glamour Makeup is meant to augment and even replace Secrets to an Awesome Makeover, my best-selling glamour makeup guide. In it, I will delve into more makeup techniques than most makeup guides will give you and you will learn how to conquer the male face and make it look female through the power of makeup. Passable is an ambitious work meant to help transgender girls learn about and develop one of the keys to their success in their transgender lives. I will draw from many, many examples in my life and others, go into various do’s and don’t’s, citing specific examples, and help girls understand that passability requires more than just having confidence.

Are you ready to learn the secrets to becoming super glamorous and super passable? Just order copies of my videos, Secrets to an Awesome Makeover, Natural Makeup Techniques, and Totally Natural available here.

Category: All TGForum Posts, Transgender Body & Soul