She’s Got the Look

The Artist D

When I first came out to my mother as transgendered she wept for hours on the edge of the sofa. It was clear she had no interest in the transgendered person I was. Weeping, she screamed out, “Please don’t tell your father. God, don’t ever tell your father!”

A few years later when she had calmed down and filled her prescription of Prozac she asked to see a picture of me “as a woman.” Being The Internet’s First Super Star I of course had one on hand to immediately show her. “Oh!” She exclaimed, “You’re such a pretty girl. You look like a girl. I thought you would be more … like … well, a drag queen.”

I was reminded of a very naive broadcaster asking RuPaul if he was a woman. To which Ru answered something along the lines of, “Honey, have you ever seen a woman look like this?”

It’s clear that society’s view of us is that a man in a dress is a man in a dress no matter if that man feels like a man or a woman. We know that to not be true. If you are a transgendered male to female personality you want to be accepted as a woman. We here all know very well that you are not a drag queen and that calling you such is a horror.

The topic of passability (the ability to pass dressed as a woman) is something that keeps most trans people up at night. It’s a delicate dance to create the female form out of the male one, some feel they are stuck with.

Moms Mabley

We often see living examples of both extremes. You don’t want to look like Dr. Frankenfurter just as much as you don’t want to be Moms Mabley. You want to blend in, but you want to be yourself. Our human nature is very confusing as we want to be accepted as everyone else, but yearn to be special. Alas the more you customize yourself, the more noticeable you may become. Which may, in turn, “out you” as the spotlight is further directed your way.

Always remember to stay calm and not to overdo it. Indeed a lot of things we aspire to we tend to exaggerate upon. Unfortunately, things that some genetic girls can exaggerate on are big red lights if we try it ourselves. Wigs, eyelashes, lip liner ,and breasts immediately come to mind!

For example, you’ve wanted breasts so long that when you finally get the chance for a night out on the town you end up stuffing a double D sized bra. You don’t have to be flat chested, but you also don’t have to be Dolly Parton. It’s a very bad sign if you’re safely buckling yourself into the car and the seat belt strap exaggeratedly splits your false bosoms in two different directions. It would be lovely to have enormous breasts, but on most frames it’s just not natural.

Grace Jones

Likewise if your eyelashes look like butterflies they definitely may make people question. It’s not that these things may out you as a male, but that it makes people think you are utilizing props. Which then leads a person to wonder what else you may be hiding under your frock. There’s a fine line between being fierce and being Grace Jones.

On the other hand we don’t need to look like we’re headed to Bingo. There is no need to cover every inch of your body like you are the Invisible Man. To blend in flawlessly you just have to take a look at other women. What is the common style and how do they present themselves? It doesn’t make you a sheep to go along with that herd, especially when you’re just getting started. If you want to work up to your Madonna cone bra dream look you might want to tone it down until you find the courage for cones.

Over the next few months I will discuss the epic mystery of “passability.” I hope to cover several different specific topics relating to transgendered male to female people. If you have a fashion topic in mind or a burning question that you’d like me to discuss here please leave a comment below  and I’ll be sure it gets covered.

Tags: drag, fashion, featured, style

Category: Style