San Diego Holds 17th Trans Day of Remembrance

By Melanie Yarborough (Neutral Corner)

San Diego’s annual Transgender Day of Remembrance took place on November 20^th at the LGBT Center in Hillcrest. The event mourned losses, celebrated lives, and offered a message of community love and resiliency.

In spite of the intermittent rain, many participated in a candle-lit vigil march through the surrounding Hillcrest neighborhood. Some carrying placards bearing the images of trans men and trans women murdered this past year. A special commemoration book provided at the ceremony also featured their photographs, with names and death details. The statistics, as always, are grim: In this past year, there have been 331 trans and gender diverse slayings, including 30 in the United States, 63 in Mexico, and 130 in Brazil.

Naya Marie Velazco, the Center’s new Transgender Services Coordinator moderated the event, and said “We will not be erased, our stories will be told, and they will be heard.” Dr. Stan Rodriguez, council member of the Santa Ysabel Land of the Lipay Nation and Wendy Schlater of the La Jolla Band of Luiseno Indians offered a native American benediction. They asked the spirits for blessings for the journey, and to allow all to continue to grow.

The evening’s speakers touched on themes of sorrow, joy, and empowerment:

Pamuela Halliwell, marriage and family therapist, reminded the audience that the abuse of trans people did not stop with their deaths but continued afterwards as well. They were misgendered in police reports and social media, their birth names were used rather than their chosen gender name (deadnaming), and some were buried under that same name. Pamuela declared “We need to take a stand that we have to be identified correctly, to show we exist.”

Angelle Malaika Maua of the Gender Phluid Collective, an LGBTQ support group for people of color spoke as the parent of a trans teen. She said that as a parent/ally, she would continue to be a voice to empower and lift the community, and added “Thank you for being you, thank you for being resilient.”

Amber St James, educator and community promoter, noted the heavy-hearted nature of the event, but also the need to embrace joy. “We are here to celebrate these peoples lives. They had names, families, and power… Part of joy is action, being able to mobilize, to create the change. Be daring enough to live life in the face of oppression. In the words of the amazing Miss Major, ‘I’m still fucking here!’”

Ruby Phillips, Navy veteran and activist, spoke of her own personal experiences of adversity, and how it can empower. “Adversity can make you or break you, if you let it. The choice is yours. Strength doesn’t come from what you do, but by overcoming what you thought your couldn’t do…Go out there and make the ending to your story.”

In a special part of the commemoration, the auditorium’s projector screen showed pictures of the slain. Volunteers read their names and ages, and the audience was asked to repeat those names. 

Event attendees wore their pride in different ways. One person wore a bright rainbow jacket, another used the trans flag as a cape. The Sisters of Perpetual Indulgence wore their own distinctive Habits. One participant had pink-blue-white trans flag colors as face-paint a la Pierrot, another in vertical stripes a la football fan. And of course, many wore the traditional mourning color of black.

One happily noticeable feature of the event was the many ethnicities represented. White European, African American, Latino/a, and Native American were all united by their LGBTQA identity, to commemorate and celebrate commonalities instead of dividing over differences.

And Deja Cabrera, another organizer at the Center, reminded those assembled “Take care of yourselves. Take care of your transgender loved ones. Hug them extra tight this evening.”

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