Retro Rerun: Passing: Is it Fooling or Just Not Offending?
A number of times I have read accounts by sisters who have ventured out of their closets and into the “real world” and they have reported that they have been so happy that they “passed”, implying that they thought no one who saw them recognized that they weren’t a woman. A typical account might be “I dressed in heels and a mini skirt and my best frilly blouse, I made up my eyes and put on some cherry red “come-fuck-me” lipstick. I drove to the other side of town and pumped some gas at the local Mini Mart. A man smiled at me, he had no idea I was in drag. I was so happy to pass.”
Time for a reality check, girls. Here’s the story from the other side. Last week on a Sunday afternoon I saw one of the leaders of our local transgender group walking through one of our public buildings. She was in heels and short skirt. She is pretty but from behind her broad shoulders and strong legs were a dead give-away of her true gender as she clicked down the halls. Many people saw Joanne and some turned to take a second look but while none could have mistaken her for a woman no one made comment, snickered or did anything that would tell her that she was attracting unusual attention. For all I know Joanne may have thought she was passing.
There are very few of us who are genetically privileged enough to have the right musculo- skeletal structure, skin and facial hair and voice make many people actually believe we are women. Many of us further compound that problem by choosing to wear clothes that don’t flatter our body type. So we have no chance of passing , right? Wrong.
When I was in school and wrote tests one didn’t have to get a perfect mark to “pass”. One just had to display enough knowledge to show they understood the basic concepts of the course. Similarly passing for the crossdresser doesn’t have to be about appearing 100% female or about fooling others. Rather a pass could be considered to have been achieved when, like Joanne, the crossdresser dresses and wears her hair fine enough to fit in with the surroundings. To get by en femme “on the street” or in the mall the crossdresser can “pass” by dressing the way women around are dressing. That means flats and jeans to the mall, casual clothes to the movies and restaurants; save the erotic dressing for the drag bars.
Besides dressing appropriately there are several other techniques I could recommend to improve one’s “passing mark”. Match your makeup to the time of day. Beard cover and foundation are most important at any time. Then for day time wear little else. Heavy eyeliner, mascara and lipstick will attract undue attention and lower the passing grade. Adopt feminine mannerisms, walk with short steps, don’t hurry, don’t fidget with your hair or clothes.
Avoid eye contact with strangers – if you look some will look back. Also it is a defense mechanism favoured by women to avoid eye contact with men they do not know. In some social groups eye contact with a man would be considered a come-on in others a threat. Neither is a situation the strolling crossdresser should encourage. Unless you are a petite 5′ 6″ or less, keep your shoes low except for the most special occasions. Yes, I know heels feel sexy and they give a nice shape to our legs but believe it or not most people will not notice a difference and a heavy person walking on a mall’s hard floor will sound somewhat like Patton’s army marching across the Rhine Bridge. My rule is the earlier the hour, the lower the shoe. Flats or sneakers for day wear, a low heel to go dining and maybe a 3″ heel for glamour occasions. Passing doesn’t have to be about fooling people. The vast majority of people today don’t want to hassle others. We have grown up through a “do-your-own-thing” era. We are ready for the most part to let those things that don’t directly offend us or intrude in our lives to go by. That’s why my friend Joanne could “pass” on her Sunday stroll and why most of us can pass when we venture out in public. We’re not fooling anyone; we’re just not offending them either..
Category: crossdressing
About the Author (Author Profile)
Canadian writer Linda Jensen is a long time contributor to TGForum. Before the days of the Internet Linda started her writing with the Transvestian newspaper. Her writing ranges from factual accounts of her adventures to fiction although frankly sometimes her real life adventures are stranger than the fiction. Linda is married to a loving partner who upon learning about Linda said, "she was part of you before I met you. Although I didn't know it she was part of the package I fell in love with. I don't want to mess up that package." "Does it get any better than that?" asks Linda.Subscribe
If you enjoyed this article, subscribe to receive more just like it.
