Perspective

I’d planned on doing this month’s article about terminology, or as some of us call them, “labels.” But I really don’t feel like engaging in transgender politics after the events of the last few days.

No, nothing personally is wrong, but one of my children is facing a new and challenging experience. A friend she has known for virtually her entire life died today after collapsing in the school cafeteria. He had a congenital heart problem that cut short his young life. Moreover, this young man had been raised by his grandmother and could well have been a bitter troublemaking dead ender—but he was just the opposite. As one of my daughter’s friends said “he didn’t deserve this. He never hurt anyone! He was always so nice and kind. Why HIM?!” Indeed, how can anyone answer that; it’s not fair nor is it understandable, nor explainable.

So why am I writing about this here? It’s not for sympathy, but to find a meaningful lesson in this tragedy. And that lesson is that no matter how bad we have it struggling with our gender issues (and I don’t pretend that my struggles in that area are anywhere nearly as severe as most of you out there), there are always things that people are experiencing that are even worse. Keeping that in mind helps keep things in perspective. Reaching out to those in need also helps me to feel a unique sense of meaning, purpose and connectedness to humanity. And primarily seeing the grace, dignity and courage with which others face trials that I imagine would reduce me to an emotional wreck helps me keep a perspective that helps me find strength to deal with the issues—which suddenly seem rather less significant—in my life.

Perspective, maybe that’s the only benefit that can come from the all too untimely death of an innocent. Maybe that—and the renewed resolve to cherish those we love and respect those around us—is the only real tribute that the living can offer in such a circumstance to honor the deceased. Maybe, sadly, it takes a tragedy to force us to look at our concerns as just one thing and not the only thing in life.

Category: Transgender Body & Soul