My Life as Savannah: High School

I begrudgingly entered high school as Kenneth Thomas, and it was hard on me dressing as a boy every day. But on the days I did not have gym class, Mother still allowed me to wear my panties, and when I was at home, I could dress, but I stayed inside. Savannah was always on my mind, and Mom saw how much not being Savannah was bothering me as the school year progressed, but she did not know what to do about it. I have heard Mom and Gwen talking about it, and I know both preferred me to be Savannah.

Still being small framed with long hair in a ponytail, fair-skinned, and smooth complexioned, I was bullied and made fun of almost every day for looking fem.

I was slowing, becoming depressed, and became a recluse. Because of my high-grade point average, I was on an advanced fast-track high school/college program that would allow some of my time in high school to count for some of my college classes. I took two accounting classes—one basic and the second year, an advanced accounting class. During the latter had all my projects completed by Thanksgiving. The teacher did not know what to do with me for the remainder of the year. My teacher tried to give me some other accounting projects, but I told her I passed all my course requirements. So I studied for other classes. One of my support group people, Sis, was away at Georgia State too so I could not talk to her much. And I knew she had her life to live as well.

I went to school, came home, studied, and started all over the next day. Girls liked me or wanted to stop over and study with me. Maybe because I would compliment them on their hair and clothes. My girlfriends called, and Mom answered but did not know what to tell them about Savannah. Although there were many high school ball games, dances, and clubs to join, I did not want anything to do with any of it. At least as Kenny. Girls wanted me to date them, but I still chose to stay home. I had zero interest in being who I was now. I did not plan to go to my senior prom – well, I did not want to go as Kenny. The only daily remembrance of Savannah was my nightly face regimen Mom and Gwen had taught me.

I knew Mom was worried about me being depressed, and she thought it was her fault. Gwen came into my room one day when she was home from college and discussed it with me. I said I had a choice, and I chose Savannah, and I thought she was still the best and only choice for me, but I was unsure how, or if even possible, to do it. Mom did take Savannah to Atlanta for a shopping trip and a girl’s weekends out. I loved it but detested coming home and revert to being Kenny. For the rest of high school, I went to school, studied, went to church on Sundays with Mom, and repeated the next week — week after week after week for the remainder of high school.

Savannah really could not come home for Thanksgiving or Christmas since those holidays are for families; Savannah was a make-believe cousin living somewhere in Atlanta’s vast metropolitan area. Mother told Sis how depressed I was. Gwen thought it was her fault. I never asked for any Christmas or Birthday gifts for Kenny.

The only relief I had was maybe Easter/Spring Break and the summer when Savannah could return full-time for a week or so. During this Spring Break, Mother was amazed and relieved how quickly I rejuvenated from being depressed to bubbly Savannah so quickly. During the summers, I lived in the upper realms of heaven.

I thought of Fred often. Mother told me he was still away at a private school, and we only went out a couple of times when he was home. I dated quite a lot during the summer and still had fun with my girlfriends.

I graduated from high school with honors and was offered three academic scholarships as Kenny, not Savannah.

Next: College.

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Tags: featured, fiction, Transgender

Category: Fiction