My Life as Savannah, Chapter 18

Peace and Quiet (for a while)

It was 10:30 when Mother poked her head in and asked, “Sweetie, are you awake? Care for some breakfast?”

I opened my eyes as I looked at the clock. “What? Ah? Sure. I’ll be down in a few minutes.”  Mother closed my door. I got out of bed and washed my face and put on some lotion. I grabbed a pair of panties, a bra, a t-shirt, and shorts. I gave my hair a quick brushing and threw it into a quick ponytail, and headed downstairs barefooted.

“I have the coffee pot brewing. What would you like for breakfast?

The coffee smelled wonderful. “I guess only some toast, jam, and a yogurt. No, I changed my mind. Oatmeal. I did not eat much yesterday. Need any help, Mom?”

“No, dear, sit down. What do you have planned for the day?”

“I’d love to spend time at home with you! I have to check a few work emails and maybe layout it the sun.” I had the other ideas in my mind about my work that I had written on my notepad but did not tell Mom what they were.

“Savannah, I can’t imagine a better day than with my daughter.”

“Oh, I have to run back to the hotel too. There are a few items still in the room. Let me put on some makeup, and I will be right back. Thank you for breakfast. Oh, I’m still in love with the bed you got me.”

After my makeup and a few accessories, I headed back to the hotel. I grabbed up everything in my arms and headed out. I heard a voice say, “Ma’am, may I help you?” I turned and saw it was the hotel manager.

“You are so gracious for the asking, but this is my last load.”  He followed me to my car and opened the door and trunk.

“You were at the wedding reception last night?” 

“I was. The hotel was incredibly nice to us. Thank you so much.”

I got in my car. He shut my door. I smiled at him and drove off. I thought of him driving home. He was cute, and I wished I would have danced with him yesterday.

“I’m going out back to get some sun and check some emails. I won’t be gone long.”  I did not own a swimsuit, so I put on a strapless bra, inserted it in my breast forms, and kept on the bikini panties. I grabbed my laptop and headed out, wearing the big shirt from the bachelorette party. I was glad he had a high surrounding wooden fence so that no one would see me.

“Mom, let me know if anyone comes by. I’m not wearing anything decent.”

The sun was so warm and felt wonderfully soothing on my pale Chicago ceramic white skin while I worked on my emails. I stopped, listened, and noticed things I do not hear or see in Chicago often. I heard birds singing and saw butterflies and a few bees feasting on nectar from Mother’s flowers. I also liked the rustle of the wind in the tops of the trees that summoned the smell of magnolia blossoms and honeysuckle vines. I love being home – fond memories.

Mother poked her head out and smiled at me, “Sweetie, care for some iced tea?”

“I think I’ve had enough sun. I don’t have any lotion. Just a couple more emails, and I’ll be in in a minute.”

I had four more days at home. I closed my laptop, put my shirt back on, and came inside.

“Savannah, you look so darling in that. We need to get you a bikini. You have the body for one.”

“Mom, you are so sweet. Care to join me with some iced tea and sit on the porch in the shade.

Mother poured us some iced tea and headed for the front porch. “Can I go out wearing this?”

“You look great, sweetie.” We chatted about Gwen’s wedding; Mom teared up a little but composed herself.

Mother said, “Who’s that?”  I looked around and noticed it was Fred’s car pulling in the driveway.

“It’s Fred. I have to change. I don’t have on any makeup!”

Mother said firmly, “Sit right where you are, young lady. You’re fine.”

Fred got out of his car. He was wearing khaki pants and a red polo shirt and Sperry boat shoes. And came up the porch stairs. I was sitting with my legs curled up next to me on the porch swing.

“I hope I’m not interrupting you, Mrs. Thomas, Savannah.” He saw my shirt was unbuttoned, and I am sure he noticed my bra peeking out.

“Hi, Fred. Good to see you. Want some iced tea?

“No, thank you. I know you’re not in town much longer, and Mother asked me if you two have decided to join us for dinner at the club.”

“Oh, Mother, remember I ask you, but we never discussed it. I’m so sorry, Fred.”

“Well?”  What about Tuesday or Wednesday. The club isn’t open on Mondays, and Mom and Dad are free both nights.”

“Mother said, is Wednesday night okay with you, Savannah ?”

“Perfect, I can’t wait.”

“Fantastic. Mother and father are so excited about seeing both of you. Eight PM?”

“We’ll be there,” as I smiled. “Thank you so much for the nice offer, Fred. I cannot wait to see you and your parents again. I didn’t have much time to talk to them yesterday at Gwen’s wedding.” He was still looking at my open shirt. I pulled it closed with my left hand and smiled at him.

“Then I wish you, two beautiful young ladies, a wonderful day. Good day, ladies.”

As Fred pulled away, I heard Mother say, “I sure liked the words, ‘young ladies!’”

We looked at each other and smiled.

“More iced tea?” Mother handed me her classes I went in for refills. I came out, gave my Mother her tea, and she thanked me.

“Savannah, dear.”  You remember the discussion you told your Sister and me the other night that upset you so much? Do you mind if we talk about it? I’ve been so worried and so sad for you, dear.”

“Of course, Mother. Please do not be sad or worry. But I thought we would do it when Sis returns, but I am okay with it, and then we can get Sis’s opinions.”

“Savannah, you are a woman in all respects. You are petite, your waist is small, you have small feet and hands, and you have a slender body and a beautiful face and skin. Have you thought of or considered transitioning to be a woman?”

“More than I am now? If you mean with real breasts and a vagina? Yes, I have. Many times. It is a recurring dream I have every night.” I saw her smile. She got up and came and sat beside me in the swing.

“Talk out here or go inside?”  Mother asked.

“Out here is fine, Mom.”

“Okay, but if I get too personal, please stop me.”

“Mother, you know I’ve never had anything to hide from you. And from deep down at the bottom of my heart, I deeply appreciate the love and support you and Gwen have given me over the years. I love you two so much.”  Then I held her hand and said, “I’d love nothing more to be a genetic woman, to be a real daughter to you and sister to Gwen.”  Mother interjected,

“You are and will always be my real daughter and Gwen’s real sister, no matter what.”

“Thank you, Mom.”

“But there are so many questions. Should I go on hormones, breast augmentation? What about work, and how would I support myself? I do not want to be deceitful and lonely for the rest of my life. I am in my early twenties and should have a boyfriend or be dating truthfully without pretenses. I’ve never made love to a girl before, and the men I date, I cannot be expected only to give them a blowjob or handjob! They’ll want more!”

Mother asked,” Savannah, can we go see a doctor and have a professional opinion? You’ll have plenty of time to think about it when you come home for Easter. I feel hormones would be the best choice for you, Savannah. Your waist would stay thin, although it is much smaller than mine and Gwen’s. Your hips would get wider, and your male pants will not fit. And I am sure you will develop beautiful breasts, causing your male shirts not to fit. And you will not have to shave as much, except your legs. I’d even pay for laser hair removal if you wish. Today is Sunday. May I call tomorrow and see if a doctor can see us before you leave. Hopefully, he may give you a prescription for hormones. Is that okay with you, dear?

“Yes, I like that. Thank you so much, Mother. You’re the best Mother anyone could dream of having.” Then I squeezed her hand and leaned over and kisses her cheek. “I didn’t care for the first psychiatrist we saw when I was in college. I hope there is someone in this town who has experience with transgender individuals. And I told Mom I was almost through electrolysis on my face.

The rest of the day, I read a book and helped Mom whenever she needed it —relaxing and recovering.

Next: The doctor’s office.

Tags: featured, fiction, Identity, Transgender

Category: Fiction