My Life as Savannah: Chapter 16 The Day After

I was up first only because Gwen called. “I love you so much, Savannah. You were my shining star of the night. You made me feel so special.”

“Oh, sis, you’ve always been so sweet to me. You are so special to me. I meant every single word I said. I am so happy for you and Steve. Wasn’t Mother beautiful in that green dress?”

Later in the morning, I sat with Mom in the living room, “Mother wasn’t that an amazing night. That dress you wore was absolutely nothing short of gorgeous. I think you turned the most heads.”

“It was a very emotional evening, and I was happy for my two daughters. I could not have done all this without your help, Savannah .”

“Thank you, Mom. I’m simply glad I could help.” We had about a week to go before Gwen’s wedding day. So I came up with another long checklist for Mother and me to follow. Mother liked my list again.

“Mom, I’ve confirmed the church, the flowers, the photographer, and the reception. I think everything is in order. Do you need me to do anything else?”

“No, sweetheart. Sounds good. You’ve been my lifesaver since you’ve been home.”

“You sound tired, Mom. Are you sure you are up for lunch? I’d love to take you to the Aviary restaurant that Fred took me to. I think you’ll like it, and it will be a good break for us. It is very casual too. You’ll need a wrap or sweater. If I recall, it was freezing when I was there with Fred.”

“That sounds nice, sweetie. Something lite sounds good.”

“I had this amazing salad. Fred even ordered it for me. I’m positive you’ll love it.”

As we were getting the car, Sis pulled up. I said,

“Hop in, Sis, we’re going for lite lunch.” She hopped in the back-passenger side.

“Sis, both you and Mother, were so beautifully last night – you both glowed.”

“Savannah, I saw you had all those bridegrooms wrapped around your finger.”

“We were only chatting,”

“Really? To me, they all looked like hobos on a ham sandwich. And you being the tasty sandwich.”

“You two girls, stop it!” Mom exclaimed, “It was a beautiful evening.”

“Where are we going for lunch?” The day I was fitted for my dresses, I ran in Fred, and he took that photo I send you. He took me to the cutest place for lunch.”

“Fred, Fred Franklin? Really?” We pulled into the Aviary’s parking.

Sis asked, “Is this place new? Looks nice.”

“I don’t know; I’ve only been here once.”

We had to wait a couple of minutes before getting a table. Finally, one came available. We sat, and I ordered three sweet teas.

“I recommend this Aviary salad. It was simply delicious and one of the best salads I’ve had in ages when I was here with Fred. He even ordered it for me.”

I told the waiter, “Three Aviary salads and sweet teas, please. One check.” I pointed out all the lovely greenery, pictures, and open airiness of the place.

“This place is lovely, Savannah. Thank you for the invite.” Said Gwen.

“My pleasure Sis. I told Mom we needed a break to unwind after all the fun and amazing events.”

“Where are you going on your honeymoon?”

“Barbados.”

“Wow!” As my eyes opened wide and a massive smile on my face. “Barbados. Romantic, fun, and sun too!” During the rest of the lunch, Gwen and Mother talked about her upcoming wedding.

“This salad is delicious. I love it. It hits the spot.” Mother said as she took another bite.

“I agree, Mom. Great choice.” We all finished our salad and waited for the check. I put down my credit card on the bill. Sis notice the name on the card, pointed to it, and said,

“Savannah Thomas?”

“That’s me. I had to add a card to my account as not to raise suspicion when out. And I was able to have State I.D. made with my name and photo too.”

“Smart.” Then Gwen paused and thought for a minute, “But how did you do that?” I gave Sis ‘that look,’ so she knew not to pursue that question any longer.

I had to use the ladies’ room, and Gwen joined me. “I will always remember the first time you brought me to the ladies’ room. Remember. I still remember to sit down. I do it every day.”

“I remember how freaked out you were. My little sister has grown up.”

“Now, when I go to the public restrooms, I have to stop and see how I’m dressed before, so I don’t walk in the wrong one.” Gwen shook her head.

“So, you think I looked like a ham sandwich to those bridegrooms?”

“Savannah, you had those poor boys sure were drooling over you.”

All I replied was, “Let’s go; Mother is waiting.”

Mother and Sis thanked me for lunch. Mother reached and grasped our hands and said,

“I love both my daughter’s so much. I am the proudest Mother in the World.” We both kissed her hands and headed out for home.

Back home, Mother went upstairs to change. Sis and I sat at the kitchen table, and I went over the checklist I made for Sis’s wedding. After about 30-minutes of chatting, Gwen asked,

“Savannah, since Junior High, has anyone ever suspected you ever not being a lady?”

“No, I can’t think of any. I’ve never been stopped or questioned so far. It’s so difficult being a guy at work, then metamorphosing to a girl at night or weekends sometimes. I wish I could find a job somewhere; I’d love to live my life full-time as Savannah. I’ll never marry as a transgender. It’s a sad and lonely life for me most of the time. My life seems nothing but deceiving people.”

Not knowing exactly how to respond, Gwen said,

“I’ll love you either way. But I love Savannah the most. Your brother was a real jerk most of the time, especially when he’d sneak in my underwear drawer. Savannah, you have been so dear, kind, sweet, helpful, and understanding sister to me. Not Kenny, whoever he is anymore. Even my female friends will never hold a candle to you and Mother.”

Mom must have been standing at the bottom of the stairs and heard every word we said. We both were startled when she said,

“Those are the most beautiful and precious words I ever heard. My two daughters are the most amazing and loving creatures ever made.” She walked toward us and stood next to me.

“Savannah, it pains and saddens me so deeply that you are so lonely. I wish you would have told Gwen and me earlier. Whoever you choose to be, Savannah or Ken, you will always have our love and support. Like your sister, I prefer Savannah .”

Gwen was beginning to tear up, and I saw one run down her cheek. She stammered out, “I stand with only one choice. It’s for my beautiful sister Savannah.”

Mother leaned over and hugged and kissed her cheek. I became emotional after hearing that from both of them.

The volume of our tears could have flooded our entire kitchen. If we were a ship, we would have been in danger of sinking from all the tears. We all sat there, with all our mascara destroyed, and held hands silently.

“Gwen, this all started because you caught me in your lingerie drawer.” Gwen nodded and giggled.

Mother said, “How can we help you, Savannah ?” Mother could sense how much I was distressed. “Regardless of any circumstance, you’ve always been unselfish, Savannah .”

“I seem to be holding my own so far. I’ll do some research, and I’ll let you two know. Right now, the most important thing is Sis’s wedding.”

Gwen startled us both when she turned and looked directly at me when she blurted out in a rather loud voice,

“Holding your own! Holding your own! What exactly do you mean by holding your own? My God, Savannah. You have been a woman since before Junior High school. Friends and family have accepted you; you have fooled Mother – for a while at least – Father did not recognize you, your girlfriends, and been to slumber parties, been with naked girls, stunned and turned every man’s head. Broken hearts when you wore that incredible gown to that ball, you have shopped and traveled as a woman, you were my Maid of Honor, and you were the star of my rehearsal dinner and party. Besides, you had all those single bridegrooms drooling over you. You are 101% woman in my book—all without anyone suspecting otherwise. I think you are doing a lot more than holding your own. What’s missing?”

I paused and replied softly, “female parts!”

You could have heard a pin drop. It was that silent. The ship started flooding again with the new tears, and I feared it might founder soon.

“I’ll never be able to love anyone. Or be loved, except by you two. When in public, I sometimes feel like a freak, a transgender woman, a tranny, a crossdresser, or a sissy boy, a chick with a dick. I feel like I have deceived everyone who sees me, who meets me, who dates me or knows me. I don’t even have anything to hold up a strapless bra or dress! Savannah would never have materialized into any of this without help and support from you two. You two are the only people in the World. I love more than anyone else. The problem is that I’d rather be Savannah than Ken. And be Mother’s youngest daughter and your younger sister. I seem to live in a catch-22 World. Sometimes I feel I’m the World’s greatest imposter.”

It got very silent again. Mother and Gwen were holding each other’s hands and still crying. I saved the ship from foundering.

“Please don’t worry about me right now. I’ll survive. Sis, you have the most important day of your life coming up. And I don’t want to ruin it for you. As your sister, I promise you I will make it your best day ever you’ve ever had in your life. It’s your sister’s promise to you. I said I’ll do some research. Please never bring this up again. We’ll talk after you return from your honeymoon if you wish. I think I’ll rest awhile. I look like hell anyway.”

I got up kissed some of Mother’s and Gwen’s salty tears. Then I went up to my room to lie down. I could hear the mumblings of Mother and Gwen talking and crying.

Soon Sis came up to my room and laid down next to me. She put an arm around me.

I think or vaguely remember Mother coming in and covering us up and saying,

“My beautiful daughter’s.”

I slept until 6 a.m. the next morning. Sis l had left. She left a note on my vanity mirror. ‘I doubt I could live another single day without having you, my loving and beautiful sister in my life. I love you, Savannah .’ Signed, Gwen.

Mother never brought the subject up again while I was home. We had a wedding to prepare for.

Next: Gwen’s wedding.

Tags: featured, fiction, Transgender

Category: Fiction