Mayo Clinic Advocates for Crossdressing (to Stay Safe during the Pandemic)

My old friend Mary recently Skyped and asked me for advice about dating during the ‘Covid crisis’. By dating she means the casual one-night variety that some of us crossdressers are all too prone to engage in.

Hopefully we all know about the risks to our bottom end from engaging in unprotected sex. Hopefully when appropriate we are all practicing safe sex. But what about kissing? We know to look out for signs of cold sores but the common wisdom is that some STDs do not survive in saliva.

Not so the coronavirus that is causing Covid-19. It seems to thrive in our mouths, noses and throats and moving on from there.

We chatted for a while as Mary coyly showed off the cleavage look of her new breast plate and I drooled a bit.

Finally she came to the point of her call. “Yes, but if I’m lying in bed with a man and we are both wearing masks are we at risk of catching or spreading Covid?” Mary asked.

“Well you are not if neither of you are infected,” I tried to be helpful.

“But I don’t know if he is infected or not, do I?” Mary retorted, “I’m a senior citizen. Almost!” she corrected herself, “I’m ALMOST in a high risk group.”

I continued, “There is an old French-Canadian parody poem that goes like this:

‘The wind she blow on Lac St Pierre.

The wind she blow some more.

But you never get drown in Lac St Pierre

So long as you stay on the shore’”

I offered, “You’ll never get Covid from playing at sex so long as you play with yourself.”

“Thanks Linda,” Mary laughed, “I think I’ll just do that. Bye.”

And with that the screen went blank and Mary was gone. But not forgotten; she had started things turning in my mind. It was approaching midnight. I could not sleep. Now that I was dressed I did not feel like putting ‘Linda’ away.

After Mary left the screen I could not help thinking about two things. One was how good her new breasts looked, such a natural looking cleavage and the other was the question of how risky was it to be having sex with people as they say, ‘not in your bubble’ or social circle.

I guess I had just told Mary to kick the guy out of bed. I knew that would not do for advice so I decided to look a little further into the question.

I turned back to the computer. I opened Google Search. I typed in “safe sex” and Covid-19. There were over 1,000 references, a pretty standard Google search. But it was advice from the world-renowned Mayo Clinic that got my attention and inspired the headline for this article.

But first let me tell you what the others were writing. Who were the others? That’s right. WHO was another. (With apologies to Abbott and Costello) So were the Yale and Harvard Health organizations, state health organizations such as North Carolina and Pennsylvania came near the top, as did British Columbia in Canada. A British organization called Avert.org also has posted some very useful information.

What are they saying? I can boil it down for you. Not to pat myself too much on the back for the advice I had just given to Mary but they all lead off by saying the safest way to satisfy yourself sexually during a pandemic is to do it for yourself through masturbation.

But what if that doesn’t do it for you? What if the thrill is not the end of the journey but the experiences along the way? Thankfully the organizations were helpful in that regard, too.

Amongst other advice, the World Health Organization (WHO) tells us in all situations to avoid the three C’s – Crowds, Confined spaces, and Close Contact situations. OK, when I’m having sex I like to avoid crowds of more than three or four and I gave up on confined spaces like the back seats of cars years ago but I for one sure like to be ‘chatted up’ as I’m being seduced. Can we adapt the restaurant rule to keep our masks on except when eating?

Another thing: one Canadian health organization lead off their advice by stating, “If you’re feeling fine and have no symptoms of COVID-19, you can still have sex. If you’re feeling sick, skip sex.”

OMG! That old excuse “Not tonight dear. I have a headache,” is coming out of the back closet.

Advice common to all groups

Almost all health organizations advising on Covid-safe sex put masturbation at the top of their list for safe activities. That is all well and good. There probably aren’t many crossdressers who aren’t expert at that form of sexual gratification but they miss the point or dismiss the question: what can we do safely to be with a partner who can share our joy in our femme identity?

A common bit of advice is that if we must engage then

• limit our number of partners to those we know and are safe with,
• no mouth to mouth contact! Wear a face mask or covering.
• abstain if either are experiencing symptoms,
• use condoms and dental dams. Apparently the virus can spread from the anus, vagina and penis (I did not know that!) and
• wash and clean before and after engaging in sexual activity. That includes washing sex toys if you are using them.
• Do not share toys with multiple partners. (That’s good advice at any time.)

Speaking of toys, there is an adult lifestyle website I monitor that recently had an advertiser pushing a line of life-like dolls (I don’t know whose life they look like) that they say will help you stay Covid-free. That is unless you pass the doll around which is something the website is happy to promote you doing with your real life partner.

The funny thing is, I could have given all that advice to Mary when we Skyped. I have been living that way for many months now. Sadly my male partners have been limited to one. I knew him well and usually I love the way he loves kissing as part of our foreplay. Not this time!

Then many of the groups went into an area called virtual sex. It was generally explained as video dates, phone chats, sexting, online chat rooms and group cam rooms are ways to engage in sexual activity with no chance of spreading COVID-19. Exhibitionist meet the voyeur. After years of being shunned and maligned the flasher and the peeping tom are finding their trades mainstream in the fight against Covid-19.

The agencies all caution to “be aware of the risks of sharing information or photos online, and web camming.” You all know that already, eh?

The Mayo Clinic

However let’s get to the point. You know the Mayo Clinic as one of the most reputable bodies in the fields of health care and health education. Of course when I saw the Google Search was putting the Mayo Clinic near the top of the list I was not surprised. I determined to make them my first search. They did not let me down.

Their first advice was a bit discouraging, “it’s important to keep distance between yourself and others if the COVID-19 virus is spreading in your community. This includes avoiding sexual contact with anybody who doesn’t live with you. If you or your partner isn’t feeling well or think you might have COVID-19, don’t kiss or have sex with each other until you’re both feeling better. Also, if you or your partner is at higher risk of serious illness with COVID-19 due to an existing chronic condition, you might want to avoid sex,” the Mayo Clinic wrote. Avoid, avoid, avoid; just like all the others.

They went on, “The safest type of sexual activity during the COVID-19 pandemic is masturbation. Be sure to wash your hands and any sex toys used, both before and after masturbating. You might also consider engaging in sexual activity with partners via text, photos or videos, ideally using an encrypted platform to provide privacy protection. Again nothing unique there.

That was all good and then they hit the motherlode, “Beyond sex, there are other ways to create or maintain intimacy with a partner at a distance. Go on virtual dates together, share music you enjoy, write letters to one another or dress up for each other. Be creative.”

Dress up for each other! I’m in for that. Tell your wife, your girlfriend, both of them. No less an authority than the Mayo Clinic says you should be dressing up as a way of combating the Coronavirus.

Here’s how I can see it playing out: “Honey, you know we have to stay healthy through the pandemic. I’ve been doing some reading and the Mayo Clinic says we should be dressing up for each other. I’m willing to give it a try if you are. May I borrow that bra and panty set you found before I could give it to you for last Valentine’s Day? You know the ones you never wore as you said the bra was too big.”

“Well, she’ll say, “if the Mayo Clinic says it will help us avoid the virus then okay. Is there anything else you should wear?

“Now that you mention it there is. . .” you reply and badda bing badda boom you are out of the closet all in the name of health and safety.

Linda’s Note: It is difficult to find myself expressing humor about our pandemic situation. Chances are many of you have lost people important to you. I am lucky. I don’t think I know anyone who knows anyone who has died that horrible death, losing the body’s ability to take in and process oxygen. For those of you who have lost loved ones please know my heart is with you. As we work to keep ourselves safe, let us give thought to the 340,000 plus Americans for whom the Health organizations advice came as too little or too late.

Tags: crossdressing, dating, featured, hookups, pandemic

Category: crossdressing