Learn How to Walk the Walk

If You Talk the Talk, Be Ready To WALK THE WALK

From TGForum in 1998 by Bobbi Williams

A couple of years ago, Sandra Bernhard wrote a little piece for The New Yorker titled “Why High Heels“. “When I walk out the door in a good pair of heels,” she said, “and I’m not referring to some kitschy crap that you can buy on a trip to Frederick’s of Hollywood but a really solid set of heels from Manolo or Prada, Chanel, Clergerie, I never feel vulnerable, there’s no time for any weakness, I feel focussed, strong, secure; my stride is potent and no one hassles me. . .”

I know that feeling. And I suspect that many of you do too. But I also suspect that there are many out there who have an entirely different feeling when they wear high heels. They feel vulnerable, weak, and not at all focussed on the things they’d like to be. Why? Because (to use Sandra’s words), their stride is impotent. They look the way Jack Lemmon and Tony Curtis looked walking down the street in drag in Some Like It Hot. Simply put, they look ridiculous.

I guess the reason I’m bothered when I see someone like that is because I’m too much of a perfectionist. My attitude (I’m an ENFJ) is that if you’re going to do something, do it right or don’t do it at all. So I’ve spent a lot of time working on the high heels walk (among other girlish things) and I’ve had quite a few compliments on it. In fact, about half of the remarks have come from genetic females: “How do you walk in those things?” And I always give the same answer: Practice, practice, practice.

Of course, that’s the easy answer, but there’s also some truth to it. At the last TG convention I attended I spent some time watching some of the girls try to negotiate their way around in their heels. Many of them, unfortunately, were wearing that “kitschy crap that you can buy on a trip to Frederick’s of Hollywood.” Those may be OK for the bedroom, but if you want comfort as well as height and style, you have to shell out a few more bucks for the good ones. And that’s lesson number one. Buy good shoes. Get up the nerve to try them on. You’d be surprised at the cooperation you’ll find at the higher priced shoe stores.

The Sergeant, the Helicopter, and the Leaning Tower of Piza

Oddly enough, despite the fact that we like the high heel, the biggest mistake a lot of us girls make is that we avoid walking on it. We’re afraid of falling, so we walk on the ball of the foot. This forces the elbows out (for balance) and the knees in (like doing the snowplow maneuver on skis), all of which usually results in something I call the Army Sergeant Strut. It may be OK if you’re going to a Halloween party as Janet Reno, but it’s a dead giveaway if you’re out in public.

Another common mistake I’ve noticed is that even when the walk improves, there’s still an apprehensiveness in the air. The arms are extended and the hands are spread out, forming a kind of rotor blade. This results in the Helicopter Flutter, a walk that suggests that at any moment this girl will take off, straight up into the air.

Finally, there’s the Pinched Nerve walk, which results from a very common mistake: the shoes are too small. And its opposite, the Leaning Tower of Pizza walk, which results when the shoes are too large. (You always want to avoid walking in front of these girls; it’s just a matter of time before the architecture gives in to the forces of gravity and you find yourself buried under the rubble.) This is why mail order is such a risk.

Tina, and Sandra

So then…what’s a girl to do. Well, there are a variety of things. If some (or all) of your trouble with heels comes from weak leg muscles find some workout exercises that’ll increase the strength in the areas you need.

Next—hide and watch. My number one recommendation is Tina Turner. That woman knows how to wear a pair of heels. And she’s got all of the strength and security Sandra is talking about. Her stride is definitely potent and she is completely focussed. Watch how she walks, how she places her foot when she takes a step.

Watching Tina should lead you into the third, and most important, element. Don’t be afraid to walk heel first. If the shoe is the right size for you, it should stay on your foot, but not pinch you anywhere. And if it’s a good shoe, the heel will not break off, even if you wobble a bit at first.

Which takes us to the next tip, work your way up. Start with a 3 inch heel. Wear them as often as you can until you feel confident and have no trouble walking in them. Then go to a 3.5 or, if you think you’re ready, a 4 inch.

Now—practice, practice, practice. Go for walks. Around the house if you have to. And do things. Climb stairs. And if you have a video camera, tape yourself (from the back) and if it looks bad, see if you can figure out what you’re doing wrong. Remember, women tend to put one foot in front of the other (unless they’re ballet dancers, in which case most of them walk like Daisy Duck, but that’s another article.) But do this gradually. If possible, do it every day, but don’t start out by trying to wear them for four hours straight.

R-E-S-P-E-C-T-E-D (Find out what it means to me)

One more thing—don’t be afraid to take them off. Even though I love wearing high heels, I think that a woman who is confident enough to take off her heels and walk around for a while in her stocking feet is one of the sexiest sights there is. Check them out at the Christmas party. Most women don’t wear 4 or 5 inch heels all the time, so when they do you’ll notice that many of them will kick them off under the table or under their chair. Or when they get up to dance. So it’s not out of femme to step out of them and give your feet a rest.

Once you get it right, you’ll know what Sandra Bernhard is talking about and you’ll be ready for the ultimate test, standing on the corner hailing a cab. “You’d better believe I’m the first fare he’ll throw on his brakes for,” she says. “You put the two of us just a few yards away, he’ll pass you right by. Why? Because I demand respect and my heels back me up.”

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Tags: fashion, featured, high heels, style

Category: crossdressing, Style, Transgender Fashion